butiwannabeyoursuperhero:

uni’s already kicking my ass, but i’m here

• first of all, the idea of ‘soft’ for andrew minyard is not punching you in the face and talking about zombie apocalypses to you
• so in the beginning his relationship with neil was basically angry and needy make out sessions. sometimes horny stare contests that could have been mistaken for angry stare contests
• and that’s cool for like a year
• it’s a good year
• and then the year passes
• and neil met erik. and there’s also some other boy/boy couple in the team when wymack brings in more foxes. and jerejean might or might not be a thing. and neil sees all these affectionate gay dudes and he wants it so bad
• and andrew notices (because andrew always notices). and he realises that neil hasn’t said anything on that matter because he’s scared andrew won’t want to be as affectionate and soft and gross as nicky and erik are
• he’s right
• but andrew is in too deep and he would do anything for neil so
• it starts with small gestures, like taking neil’s hand when they’re walking. the first time he does it, it’s after an entire week of thinking about it. (at this point he literally can’t stop looking at neil’s hand). until he decides worrying about it is stupid and he fucking slips his hand into neil’s. 
• neil is so fucking surprised that he stops and looks at andrew. maybe something’s wrong? “yes or no?” is all andrew asks. neil hides the biggest grin and says “yes”, so andrew knots their fingers together.
• after that, the only moment when they’re not holding hands is when they’re holding raquets.
• the second thing is food. we all know andrew minyard can be found either smoking, drinking, smirking or eating snacks. they’re his snacks. no one fucking asks andrew for an m&m (they value their lives too much for that) and he won’t offer them to anyone. until he offers from his snacks to neil. the first time, they’re in front of the foxes and everyone stops what they’re doing  to stare at them. neil (the little shit) pretends it’s no big deal and grabs a handful of m&m’s. 
• from then on, andrew started sharing every single food he had with neil. 
• (this one time they actually shared an icecream. aaron was so mad he had to leave. nicky was actually so turned on he had to leave too.)
• other little gestures followed:
• when his arms stopped being off limits for neil, andrew stopped carrying knives in his armbands because he realised that neil avoided touching them
• he also stopped carrying knives around at night because heated makeout+handjob sessions often lead to them falling asleep together and he was terrified (yes, andrew thought of the word terrified) of stabbing neil if he moved and woke him up
• cuddles, though. andrew fucking minyard is not cuddly. and neil is generally not needy. until he is. this one day, after a really exhausting practice and some emotional shit, they are lying on andrew’s bed and, since andrew doesn’t like to be touched that much, neil wraps his arms around himself. he wants to be held, even if it was by himself (it wouldn’t be the firs time).
• andrew notices and pays no attention to it, but it’s eating him. so he turns around and wraps his arms around neil. neil sighs and smiles. neither of them says anything, but they don’t have to. the fall asleep spooning. andrew wakes up to his arm being amputated by neil’s weight, but when he looks at him he’s smiling in his sleep, and he decides that he doesn’t hate him that much.
• the last straw, though, was during a group interview during a talk show. the entire team was there. the upperclassmen (now graduates) were all sitting first row. the interviewer was being nosy (as interviewers always are) and the subject quickly turned to neilandandrew.
• “are you aware that there has been pictures of you holding hands and sharing food all over social media? is there something you want to tell us?”
• no neil thinks. there’s nothing i want to tell you.
• he looks at andrew, who looks bored, swallows and starts trying to come up with something because one thing is being affectionate and another thing was being publicly and openly gay on national television and what if andrew hate it? he couldn’t really ask him yes or no right there. he knows he looks panicked, which doesn’t help. 
• “andrew and I are…” we’re nothing, he wants to say, but andrew beats him:
• “boyfriends”
• neil’s brain frozes. boyfriends. that was the first time andrew had ackowledged their relationship like that. boyfriends. he felt a stupid grin spreading through his face. 
• the entire set was chaos. foxes were screaming. fans were crying. nicky was screaming and crying. matt and dan were counting money and handing it to a proud allison. there was someone clapping on the second row and neil saw it was jeremy knox.
• neil looked at andrew again. he looked annoyed and bored. neil was somewhere between beaming and disbelieving.
• “stop fucking looking at me like that,” andrew tells him.
• “boyfriends,” neil tries out loud. the word tastes like cigarettes and alcohol and something sweet.
• andrew rolled his eyes. “you’re so fucking stupid,” he replies and knots his fingers through neil’s.