the foxes as things said in tfc discord pt.2

andrewminyardownsmyass:

neil: will i suffer serious consequences from this? find out on the next episode of dragon ball z

andrew: i’m gay. i’m already on the dark side.

aaron: my mind may be an idiot but at least my dick knows to mind his own goddamn business

kevin: staying sober in this economy? I think tf not you trick ass bitch

nicky: for some reason i’m very keen on imagining tetsuji as a japanese billy ray cyrus

dan: click clack motherfucker imma kick you in your weak man balls

matt: i got a notification saying “rip andrew” and came as fast as I could

allison: of course he has a disco obsession he’s gay

renee: maybe he won’t be nutting any time soon but he is definitely nearting

wymack: my kink is being in charge and making fun of you.

abby: that’s called hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. she would die.

bee: i love when you try and learn how to be a person

BONUS

jean: your dislike for pancakes just demonstrates that you are too weak for the nsfw channel

jeremy: a family can be the sun a french fry and a rainbow

kevin: mondays are only good for being drunk and crying

neil: andrew is a winyard not a loseyard

andrew: killing people is cute

nicky: i’m gonna fuck a candy cane

allison:  neil is a category 5 hoe

matt: pizza is one crusty hoe

dan: i could buy chicken nuggets with that and you spent it on Willy the Kinky Elf

truejew:

thunderboltsortofapenny:

welkinalauda:

rainbofiction:

cj-sewers:

thethirddecade1121:

I just realized how fucking disgusting it is that it’s considered healthy and normal for teenage boys to eat everything ever yet teenage girls are obviously also growing but are fucking dieting all the time and shamed for eating while they’re growing

Shit

That’s not even the half of it because

– often when a teenager (male or female) puts on some fat it’s in preparation for a growth spurt. Grownups know this. 

– teenagers grow in weird gawky ways, like a girl’s hips will spread out and look “fat” until her legs get longer, or they’ll shoot up super tall and then slowly put on muscle and fat. Grownups know this. 

– it’s very common for a women’s body weight to fluctuate plus or minus 5% with her menstrual cycle

but in the diet mentality all of these things are considered personal moral failures, a failure of control, when controlling it is literally impossible. I am so incredibly saddened by women who weigh themselves multiple times a week and fuss over ten freaking pounds when that’s well within the bounds of menstrual fluctuation + just-ate-lunch. It’s horrible.

“A culture fixated on female thinness is not an obsession about female beauty, but an obsession about female obedience. Dieting is the most potent political sedative in women’s history; a quietly mad population is a tractable one.”
– Naomi Wolf

Grown ups really do not know this. I tell this to parents at least once a week, your child is sleeping/moody/putting on weight because their body is preparing to more or less jump the Grand Canyon of maturation stages. Hormone changes start a full YEAR before first menses.

My own mother, who works in the medical field and has worked solely for OB/GYN for the last 16 years, gave me grief about all of those things. And she knew about hormone level changes and weight distribution changes and she STILL did it. Don’t think hard facts will outweigh societal norms. Keep talking about it until they can’t ignore the facts

Eat!!! Food !!

rayluneia:

okay but imagine a fan being seated next to andrew on a flight

(andrew is on his way to visit neil, theyre playing for different teams across the country, and he has only a few days off so he wont waste his precious time by driving) (hes basically being the self destructive troll he is) (also he would never admit this but he feels slightly better about planes since that one time neil comforted him about plane accidents being not that common) (slightly, i repeat)

anyways hes seated next to this fan and after the flight they share the whole thing on their twitter (feel free to imagine yourself as this person at this point because thats basically what im doing rn)

it goes like this:

  • GUYS
  • GUYS YOU WONT BELIEVE WHO I WAS SEATED NEXT TO DURING MY FLIGHT
  • *a picture of the fan holding their thumbs up, smiling crazy happy, andrew is sitting next to them and looking at the camera with his best blank face*
  • ANDREW FUCKING MINYARD!!!!!!
  • it was the most uncomfortable 3 hours of my life i L O V E D it!!! lmao
  • okay but seriously it was the best flight ive ever had
  • like at first i didnt even realize it was him, i had some problems finding my seat and i was kinda exhausted&pissed off
  • so i wasnt paying attention to who i was sitting next to
  • but then when i settled i turned around and 
  • i was sitting!!! next to!!! andrew!! freaking!!! minyARD!!
  • so i was like “oh my god youre andrew minyard!”
  • and he just said “apparently”
  • i died ok
  • guys hes as intimidating irl as he looks on the court but bOY he is smol
  • like i made sure to check it when we stood up to leave he is t i n y af
  • and as you can see on the pic he was wearing glasses ashdgash
  • A BLESSING OK
  • speak of the pic i had to bribe almost all of my sweets just to get that pic with him
  • like B O I
  • and omg he puts 7 PACKS OF SUGAR IN HIS HOT CHOCOLATE LIKE WTF 
  • SEVEN
  • where do all those carbs go??? not to his height apparently
  • jk andrew ily
  • okay but seriously
  • I wasseated next to the best goalkeeper of exy history and it was the best day of my life
  • oh
  • OH
  • ALSO NOW THAT IM SAFELY AT HOME AND OUT OF HIS REACH I CAN FINALLY SAY
  • HE HAS NEIL JOSTEN AS HIS PHONE BACKGROUND GUYS SJDNHASJFHAKSJFA BRB DYING

the whole thing goes viral

neil loves it

then andrew simply tweets:

  • Funny how you think your house is safe.