Alternatively titled: English Major With Nothing Better To Do With Her Life Overanalyzes Things (finals??? haha what are those)
Now, for the sake of sparing you time because this meta is going to get long as hell, here’s the gist right now: I’m thinking 1. Yuuri’s going to take Viktor’s World Record in the Free Skate and 2. Viktor’s never going to go back to competitive skating again.
Now, am I right about this? Who the fuck knows! Is that going to stop me from writing a god damn essay about it? No. No it is not. So. Let’s begin:
Okay, so I know people have talked about it before (a lot), but the OP is the crowning jewel of both this show and my theory, so bear with me.
One of the most interesting things about the OP is that, despite being sung by one singer, it’s generally agreed that the different parts of the OP are “sung” by different characters. The OP starts off with someone talking about how they’re “tired of feeling” like they’re “never enough,” and Yuuri’s shown on screen. Then, Viktor shows up on screen and the lyrics are about encouraging someone to believe in themselves. That is, Viktor encouraging Yuuri to believe in himself. Basically, the main idea here is that skater on screen = who’s singing the current lyrics.
SO THEN:
Yuri shows up! And Yuuri’s on screen with him! And the lines are “Don’t stop us now, the moment of truth, we were born to make history.”
There are two singers in this part! In fact, go listen to the song right now and you’ll notice that there are literally two singers in this part (a background vocalist joins in on this line). So the “we” is Yuri and Yuuri, and they’re both singing about how they’re going to “make history” during “the moment of truth” (aka the Grand Prix Finals).
Well, guess who just made history by blasting Viktor Nikiforov’s SP record out of the water?
I’m just going to get this one out of the way now: Viktor and Yuri are NOT going to break up and no one can convince me otherwise!
Okay, with that out of the way… This show has been setting up a major misunderstanding since episode one.
Yuri doesn’t think he can hold onto Viktor, and Viktor has no intention of ever leaving Yuri’s side.
Yuri and Viktor are a fantastically portrayed couple: They respect each other, and support each other, and sometimes it feels they don’t even need words to understand each other. Even when they fight they use good communication, and are considerate of the other’s feelings. But we already had one major misunderstanding between them revealed last episode: That Viktor fell in love with Yuri first, Yuri was the one who asked Viktor to come to Japan and be his coach in the first place, that Yuri didn’t remember any of it, and Viktor didn’t know Yuri didn’t remember any of it.
It’s already been established that despite how wonderful their relationship is, there is a significant lack of proper communication on some very important fronts:
When Yuri actually plans to retire.
Whether or not Viktor actually wants to return to skating in the first place.
Yuri has already made his decision regarding the first point as of episode 9, and has not informed Viktor yet.
And I’m convinced Viktor has known the answer to the second point since episode 9 as well, but has yet to actually voice it to anyone.
These conversations have been avoided up till now, but they have to happen eventually. They can’t be avoided forever. And I think this is what Yuri’s line sets up at the end of episode 11: The resolution of this huge misunderstanding that has been building since episode one.
Viktor has no intention to leave Yuri’s side. No matter if Yuri retires or not.
With the development we’ve had in their relationship since episode 7, especially with the airport scene in episode 9 and the ring exchange in episode 10, it’s become obvious that Viktor has no intentions of leaving Yuri. Ever. Yuri is home to him now. In episode 4, he becomes nostalgic for the beach in the only city he’d ever called home, St Petersburg. But in episode 10 it’s Hasetsu’s beach that he’s reminded of.
Viktor no longer identifies home with Russia. Hatsetsu with Yuri is home for him, now. It’s only been 8 months, but Viktor has finally found a place that he belongs, where he is accepted as the man he is and not the man people expect him to be, a place that he feels free. And that place is with Yuri. In episode 9, he was miserable just being apart from Yuri for 48 hours. And it seems to solidify for him that he doesn’t want to part from Yuri again, that home is with this Japanese ball-of-anxiety on skates.
So no matter what Yuri is about to say to him at the end of episode 11, there is no way I see Viktor letting him walk away for good. Viktor, and Yuri too, are in way too deep. Those rings symbolize something very profound and meaningful for them as evidenced by the attention they receive from the animators, and the kissing of the rings before Yuri’s SP. They’re both emotionally invested in whatever they have together, and I doubt Viktor is going to let Yuri be a martyr – if that is what Yuri is planning.
But Viktor still hasn’t told any of this to Yuri. We know this from his voice-overs, but none of this has been voiced aloud to any character on the show.
Yuri doesn’t think he can hold onto Viktor indefinitely.
Not once in this entire series has Viktor ever expressed any desire to leave Yuri or go back to skating. However, Yuri still feels like he’ll have to give Viktor up eventually
even when he is out to prove his love for Viktor to the world and even though he has expressly stated he wants to hold onto Viktor.
Yuri decided in episode 9 that he was going to retire after this GPF and:
But his train of thought is cut off by a flying kick from Yurio. We don’t get the end of this thought. And… what? The implication is “and he’ll leave Yuri to go back to Russia and competition”. Yuri has decided that no matter the outcome of this GPF he’s retiring after it’s over, and that Viktor will go back to Russia even though we have no indication from Viktor that this is actually something he wants. Even though he asks Viktor to coach him until his retirement Yuri has yet to tell Viktor his true intentions. Yuri has spent the better part of this season fighting to demonstrate his love for Viktor to the world, and has expressly said that he wants to hold on to Viktor. But he doesn’t think he can.
A repeated theme this series has been Yuri assuming that after the season is over, Viktor will go back to Russia and competing even though we have nothing from the man in question suggesting that is the case.
We know what Yuri thinks of the situation, but we only get hints of what Viktor thinks.
We never get to know what exactly Viktor was planning to say here. Only that he is pleasantly surprised when Yuri asks him to stay, and implies that he never wants to leave. So we can extrapolate from there what Viktor might have decided to retire as coach and stay by Yuri’s side as something more. But I don’t have much evidence for this, it’s pure conjecture.
Anyways, Yuri has convinced himself that Viktor wants to go back to skating, or at least that Viktor should go back to skating, once the GPF is over despite not ever having discussed this with Viktor himself.
Viktor actually doesn’t want to go back to competing.
Viktor Nikiforov is dead. He’s not coming back to competing. He’s discovered life, and love with Yuri in Japan, he has no reason to go back to competing.
Let’s discuss the part of episode 11 that I think demonstrates this: Viktor watching the competition from the stands.
First, there is Yurio’s performance which is introduced like this:
Russia’s “next generation”. He’s Viktor’s successor, and he’s doing a kickass job at it already. This scene: Yurio’s record breaking SP, Viktor watching from the stands,
Yakov seeing a young Viktor in Yurio
It’s set up as a “passing of the baton” moment, or at least that was the vibe I got from this scene. It shows that Viktor isn’t necessary anymore, he’s not missed as much. There are new, younger, talented skaters to take his place and carry the baton for Russia. Yurio’s got this. And I think it needs to be pointed out that this is reflected int he fact that the reporters aren’t flocking all over him this time around asking if he’ll be returning. People aren’t harassing him about coming back anymore. He’s able to slip away from the cameras to watch his successor skate without anyone noticing, even Yuri.
This scene of Viktor watching Yurio has a melancholic vibe. It feels like we’re watching an era end in real time. It’s like Viktor watching “the death of Viktor Nikiforov” play out before him on the ice. But after Yurio’s program finishes, and Yuri finds him in the stands, this rest of Viktor watching the competitors skate doesn’t strike me as one where Viktor is anxious to get back out onto the ice and reclaim his crown.
The announcers ask this question while we get to see the answer: How does Viktor Nikiforov feel about watching from the stands?
He’s smiling. He seems okay with it. He does’t seem anxious. He’s cheering on his old rivals, and looking like he’s enjoying being a spectator. I only took one screen shot for the sake of the length of this post, but this entire scene after watching Yurio’s performance, Viktor is smiling. They’re more muted than usual, like he’s watching something that makes him a little sad, but happy all the same. Like watching something you love grow, and evolve, and change from what you once knew, but for the better. The skating world doesn’t need him anymore, but he doesn’t look full of regret, or like he’s itching to get back out there into the spotlight. He looks content.
And this is probably why:
Viktor has found a new strength with Yuri in Japan. He has experienced a whole new world, full of new emotions, and life, and love, by becoming Yuri’s coach and cheering him on from the sidelines. He gets visibly excited watching Yuri,
he can’t contain himself and even jumps along with Yuri,
and gets upset along with Yuri when Yuri fails.
and this is his reaction to the prospect of seeing Yuri land a quad-flip in competition:
He feels an emotional connection when Yuri skates. He is invested in this performance, something he’s probably only felt for his own programs. This is something he’s never experienced before becoming Yuri’s coach.
This, for me, demonstrates that Viktor is content with staying on the sidelines and not competing. I don’t see this, as some have suggested, as evidence that Vitkor wants to be back out on the ice in Yuri’s place. I see this as Viktor getting so wrapped up in Yuri’s performance and excited he literally cannot contain himself. I do something similar when I watch sports, even if I don’t play the sport. I jump up and do the “force hand wave” trying to influence the direction of the ball. Viktor’s actions here, in my opinion, more closely resemble that. Like a dance mom doing the routine in front of the stage, not like a man who wants to get back into the game himself. He’s probably more excited watching Yuri than he ever was performing. Viktor described his career as a shackle around his neck. Competing, and skating, isn’t something he desires anymore. He’s been freed from his chains, from the high stress life of competing, and has found pure happiness in something new: coaching and being with Yuri.
This line from Lilia is pretty poignant, I think.
Yuri’s love is what sustains Viktor now, not his love of skating, or his fans, or surprising people. Yuri’s love has reinvigorated him. And he understands that. Especially after episode 9. He is shining brightly here coaching Yuri, as himself and not the idol. He is showing real, deep emotions and he looks so damn…happy.
Viktor Nikiforov the idol is dead, and that’s okay. Because Viktor the human being has found a new life to live, and a new love to sustain him, one where he’s not bound by the pressure to surprise the world each season, or be perfect. One with Yuri. And I can’t see him giving that up for anything.
The Miscommunication
Yuri spends most of episode 11 watching Viktor’s reactions and progressively growing more anxious by what he sees. I believe that this is because Yuri isn’t interpreting Viktor’s reactions correctly, as he is coming from a place where he assumes that he cannot hold onto Viktor forever. Instead of seeing Viktor as calm and content as well as solemn, he is seeing Viktor as only being contemplative, and regretful.
Like in episode 9, we don’t get the end to this thought. But Yuri looks upset. He’s probably interpreting Viktor’s reactions as evidence of Viktor wanting to go back skating and competing against the likes of Chris, and Yurio, when there is nothing there to suggest such a thing. Again, Viktor is smiling that soft smile. He doesn’t really look like he regrets his choices. Yuri is interpreting Viktor’s reactions incorrectly because Viktor hasn’t told Yuri he has no intention to leave. Viktor probably figures it’s so obvious he doesn’t need to. On multiple occasions he has implied he wants to stay with Yuri forever, and that he would marry Yuri. But Yuri still thinks he’s going to have to give Viktor up.
And Viktor doesn’t know that Yuri is planning to retire after the final. He probably thinks they’re going to finish out the season together, at least. That there might be another year, or two of Yuri competing and Viktor being his coach. He might suspect Yuri’s retirement could be sooner than later, but Yuri hasn’t told him his plans yet. So he doesn’t feel the need to be more explicit in his desire to stay for good.
But Yuri is still that little ball of anxiety, even if he is more confident in his choices on the ice he obviously isn’t when it comes to being able to keep Viktor. No matter how big he talked about how he was going to show the world only he knew Viktor’s love, or how he wanted to hold onto Viktor for good, he still doesn’t think he can. Like in episode 7, where he admits that he still asks himself if Viktor secretly want to quit even though he knows those fears are irrational, and that Viktor doesn’t want to go anywhere. That’s the scourge of anxiety: Even fears you know have no basis in reality can eat away at you, and cause you to interpret things in the most negative light. So he has convinced himself that Viktor wants to go back to skating, even if part of him knows that to be untrue. And that’s only reinforced by the fact that Viktor has never come out and explicitly said otherwise.
This miscommunication was going to have to be resolved sooner or later, it’s been set up as early as episode 2, and it looks like the writers saved the resolution for the finale. And I see this conversation going one of two ways:
1) Viktor finally tells Yuri what he’s been alluding to in his voice-overs: that he doesn’t want to go back to skating and he’d much rather stay next to Yuri for good and they go back to Japan together regardless of Yuri’s retirement.
2) Yuri convinces Viktor to go back to skating for one more season, and either they compete against each other on the same playing field like Yuri always wanted, while remaining “rival husbands” or Yuri does retire and Viktor moves his home rink to Japan so Yuri can be his emotional support/source of inspiration.
Honestly, I think the first option is more convincing. But maybe that’s just me. Either way, we’ll be getting a happy ending. Because that’s the kind of show this is. This show isn’t a tragedy, it’s not a tear-jerker. It’s a story about love, and how embracing it makes you stronger.
Ok, I need to address the major fandom freakouts I’ve witnessed about episode 11. Basically, Kubo knows how to write anxiety, and specifically self-esteem related anxiety, extremely well. Frustratingly, painfully well. Still this
This is what we call narrative tension. Ending abruptly on this ambiguous line is meant to be a cliffhanger and make us suffer because we only have one episode left and we can’t go into the last episode with no narrative tension (say, Yuuri placing first and being super lovey-dovey with Victor) or else there would be no stakes. It doesn’t mean the series will end badly.
1. Yuuri messed up Eros because he wasn’t focused on love
As soon as Yuuri talked about changing the jumps and compared his program to JJ, I knew he would mess up. Yuuri’s performances rely on his mental state a lot, Eros in particular always has him adopting a very particular persona to pull through. We had none of that in episode 11. Yuuri is too focused on landing the quadruple flip and forgets to focus on love, and he ends up failing the jump but also losing presentation points. It’s why his score is lower than usual for a performance he had perfected before.
I also feel that the thing about Eros is that Yuuri’s original motivation is gone. Eros is about enticing and seducing a target and so far Yuuri’s focused all of that on Victor. Yuuri doesn’t need to seduce Victor anymore and he’s not trying to do that at all, so the message he’s trying to convey with Eros is not working anymore. He aimed too hight because of anxiety instead of focusing on delivering the same sort of perfect Eros performance we’ve seen from him before. In a way though, you could say he reached the limit of what he can do with Eros, but not with Yuri on Ice, which is why I believe he will ace his Free skate with a perfect Yuri on Ice performance next episode, thus surpassing himself and completing his self-improvement journey.
2. Victor and Yuri are not breaking up, but they are on completely different wavelengths when it comes to the relationship
Let’s get this one out of the way since it seems to be the major source of panic. “Let’s end this” is ambiguous, just so we can suffer the most. Yuuri can mean the coach-skater relationship, he can mean the romantic relationship, he can mean both. I would hope he means the first. If we follow through his thought process along the season however…he probably means both. In the sense that, he probably feels like ending the coach-skater relationship, as he intends to do, will end any sort of relationship he has left with Victor. So what he’s saying is that he wants to retire and let Victor go as a coach, but what he’s feeling probably goes beyond that, even if he doesn’t actually break up with Victor.
This isn’t new information. Yuuri has been unsure about his future in skating since episode 1. He’s been doubting his entire relationship with Victor and wether he will stay or not since episode 2. The types of looks we’ve seen Yuuri sending Victor this episode are not new.
Yuuri has always believed, as he expressed back in episode 4, that his time with Victor was a limited blessing. He believes that Victor will inevitably go back to Russia and skating like everybody around them says he should do. Yes, even after Victor kissed him on international television, even after Victor announced that they were engaged to be married, you can bet Yuuri still believes that Victor’s love is purely conditional and dependent on Yuuri’s skating performances and that this relationship is only temporary. Because Yuuri’s type of anxiety is that type that makes him hear “We’ll get married after he wins gold at the Grand Prix.” as “We’ll get married only if he wins gold at the Grand Prix and thus deserves it.”
There’s been moments he has believed otherwise, of course. The airport scene I’m sure calmed him down, most of episode 10 as well, he probably believed for a moment that maybe this was it, maybe it was real and he deserved this lasting happiness. But then he’s at the Grand Prix and messed up his Eros performance and watched Victor appreciate other skaters doing better than him, so he’s back to questioning everything that’s ever come to pass between him and Victor because right now Yuuri is very set on the “I’m not good enough for him and am just holding him back.” mindset.
Victor meanwhile? Having the time of his life! I mean I should hope nobody gets so caught up in Yuuri’s POV that we start to doubt Victor’s feelings when we had an entire episode narrated by him about said feelings. Victor was leading a lonely and empty existence where he felt like he couldn’t rely on anyone and like he was prisioner to his carreer. Until Yuuri came along, and now he’s finally enjoying life, he’s in love, he’s at peace, he’s free to see fellow skaters as friends and not just rivals. The tiny amount of Victor POV in this episode only reinforces this.
Victor is having a grand time and he’s so invested in Yuuri, so focused, so in love, so ready to marry him on the spot, which is why he doesn’t realize that Yuuri’s anxiety is not exclusively over skating performance anymore but over their relationship as well.
That said, they definitely love each other and they both want to stay together. So this is good. I mentioned this before, they desperately need to talk and let out all their feelings towards each other. This will make things better in the long run. Remember, Yuuri is making assumptions on what Victor actually wants. It’s time Victor tells him exactly what that is, because no matter what it will include staying with Yuuri. They need to discuss the future, together.
They won’t break up.
3. Yuuri is not out of character nor is he experiencing character regression
Yuuri has an anxiety disorder. I’ve discussed this before. Yes Yuuri has progressed very far, yes Yuuri has gained more self-confidence. That doesn’t make the anxiety go away. Victor’s love doesn’t make the anxiety go away. It flaring up at the Grand Prix, when he’s at the peak of pressure? Completely understandable. Especially when you consider his anxiety in particular is connected to his self-esteem and how you see the way his self-esteem works. Basically, Yuuri measures his self worth through his achievements and recently in his life, particularly through Victor. Remember, Yuuri believes Victor’s main interest in Yuuri comes from Yuuri’s skating. So messing up Eros, even if not much? Was a huge blow. Watching Victor happily watch and appreciate other skaters who are doing better than Yuuri? An even bigger one.
Yuuri still doesn’t know what really happened between him and Victor at the banquet last year. He doesn’t know any of the things Victor monologued about to us, the audience. For Yuuri, the only thing keeping Victor around is whatever special spark he saw in his skating in that video. So Yuuri feels he’s losing that spark since he’s underperforming, he feels like he’s not good enough anymore to keep Victor around. Victor didn’t say anything to Yuuri after his short program and then spent the rest of his time looking and even complimenting other skaters. In Yuuri’s head, Victor is disappointed with him.
Thus Yuuri also feels, most likely, that he’s hurting Victor and taking advantage of him. He feels guilty for keeping Victor to himself all these months. If Victor remains his coach he will be unhappy, that’s what Yuuri believes. Hell, he probably thinks he’s been forcing himself on Victor. He asked Victor to stay over the Hot Springs on Ice, he asks again later that he stays until he retires, he gives him the ring first, all of this is probably weighting down on him in the shape of terrible guilt because he loves Victor so much and he wants Victor to be happy.
So, there’s this panic response your brain has to extreme levels of anxiety, which is self-sabotage. Self-sabotage gives you the illusion of being more in control of the situation. Yuuri feels like the relationship with Victor, be it coach-skate or romantic, is doomed to fail, so he decides to end it, to free Victor himself before Victor loses interest and leaves on his own. Things still fall apart but he controls how they fall apart, which is less stressful for his anxiety muddled mind. That, and he gets rid of his crippling guilt over ‘holding Victor back’.
Everything about Yuuri’s actions and thoughts in this episode make sense.
4. EVERYTHING WILL BE ALRIGHT
So way back before episode 7 graced us all with that kiss and canon status, I believed that we would only achieve said canon status in episode 12 and the way I thought it would happen would be through Victor skating “Stay Close to Me” to Yuuri, thus confessing his feelings. Then episode 7 happened and I was a bit confused about the scene. Because the scene is totally happening, we have the duet version of the song in the soundtrack, the opening scene in the anime is clearly half a flashforward to that scene, so I knew it would still happen but I didn’t know how they would make it emotionally significant. Now, I think it might be the ultimate reassurance Victor can offer Yuuri about his feelings.
Reassurance, that’s what.
Victor can’t make Yuuri’s anxiety go away, that’s not how it works. But this series is about love. Love wins, love makes Yuuri stronger. Anxiety may not magically disappear but it can be fought against, it can be overcome. So everything will be alright, they will be alright, Yuuri will be alright.
Speaking of music and how it works as meta-narrative in this series, if you still feel unsure, go listen to the Yuri on Ice track. Listen to it, think about how it mirrors the entire story of Yuuri over the course of the series, and note how it ends in a joyful harmony between the piano and the violin.
am i the only one who’s kinda touched that yakov had a flashback of victor during yurio’s SP? gosh….
Nothing but My Aching Soul 