Tag: this kills the man

vvhymack:

fuck okay so like neil’s character development is so important, his burying of nathaniel wesninski and becoming neil josten is so so important. it’s not him burying his past, it’s him looking at his past and realizing he simply doesn’t want to be that person anymore. he doesn’t want to be isolated and alone and simply surviving without living. he doesn’t want to be nathaniel wesninski, son of the butcher, he chose to be neil josten, chose to be tied to people and it’s such a fundamental part of his character development. he wants to be neil josten. he wants to stay with the foxes, even when he knew he shouldn’t. he wants to go back for andrew in a zombie apocalypse, the boy who ran, the boy who was always someone else and no one at all, the boy fit his entire life into a duffle bag and left at the first sign of trouble, wants to stay.

cigarettesmokeandexyracquets:

  • when someone says andrew minyard the foxes don’t think “friend”
  • they think “monster”, “dangerous”, “disaster”
  • they think about the bruises on kevin’s neck.
  • they think about hands on allison, trying to break her.
  • they think about knives hidden under black arm bands and pressed to their guts.
  • they think “danger”
  • blast zone.
  • explosion imminent.
  • renee thinks “bent but not broken”. she thinks of nights in the gym spent sparring, nights on the roof spent in silence.
  • matt thinks about a night in columbia and is both thankful and full of hate. 
  • dan thinks about exy balls being batted at her team’s ankles.
  • allison thinks of hands around her neck, suffocating under more than just the weight of expectation.
  • aaron thinks of his mother’s hands on him and attending her funeral.
  • kevin thinks of a promise of protection. he thinks of bruises on his throat and struggling for breath.
  • nicky thinks of a knife pressed to his sternum. he thinks of a kid who’s been through so much that he doesn’t trust anyone. (he’s trying to protect something with claws and venom, but he wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world, even when he’s being bitten and scratched at. nicky loves his family.)
  • and then there’s neil.

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