Ronan explaining his dreams: “If I want something, I have to be, like, aware enough to know that I want it. Almost awake. And I have to really want it. And then I have to hold it. I have to hold it not as a dream, but like it’s real.”
dear adam,
my fists bite concrete like an apple, my knuckles are blood-stained and singing. my hands are confused. my hands are all turned around. they don’t know what to do when they’re not reaching for you.
dear adam,
if i dreamt you, does that mean we get to do what we do in my dreams? a wonder of muscles and organs, synapses and nerves. a miracle of moving- nevermind.
dear adam,
god doesn’t know who you are, but he knows who i am, what i am, what this is. i am always asking, “please?” and i am always looking at you.
dear adam,
i get reckless when i think about your mouth. gas pedal, shift. your skin. gas pedal, shift. your throat. gas pedal, shift. your mouth. crash.
dear adam,
the secrets inside of me know your name.
dear adam,
i can build that ramp to the moon for you. let me take you somewhere where you can finally sleep. i can build a world for us, for you. i can build eveything but you loving me back.
Nothing but My Aching Soul 