lesbianjohnmulaney:

whatmack:

things allison has done to try to signal to renee that she’s into girls and dtf (but also dt buy a city apartment and raise plants and dogs together)

• ‘so who on the team do you think’s gay? i get a vibe from twin mega crazy 1′ (‘hm, don’t you think it’s rude to speculate about how our teammates identify?’) (dammit)
• 24-hour florence and the machine playlist (’would you mind turning that down please? I’m trying to sleep’) (shit fuck)
• ‘these are the top 5 female celebrities I would TOTALLY bang, renee who are yours?’ (‘I don’t think I have a list’) (godDAMMIT)
• ‘hey renee what do you think of this bra?’ (‘the lace is nice but looks itchy, I’m not really an expert, ask dan?’) (RENEE COME ON)
• six-inch rainbow heels

please add onto this I need 50k of allison pining uselessly and renee barely keeping a lid on her gay thoughts

• Painting her nails the Bi flag colours (Renee offers a causal complement then doesn’t bring it up further.)
• ‘Wanna watch a movie with me tonight?’ ‘OK, I’ll ask Dan to join us’
• Brushes Renee’s hair behind her ear, finds excuses to hold her hand, touches knees with her. Renee has no reaction. (On the outside.)
• ‘So, any particular reason for the rainbow tips?’ ‘They’re pretty’ ‘you bet they are, anything else?’ ‘I just like them’ ‘I just like you’ ‘aww I like you, too, Allison’ (??????????gay??????GAY?????????)
• ‘You ever wonder if you’ve already met the person you’re going to marry?’ ‘Sometimes’ ‘I wonder all the time’ ‘hm’ (HM?)
• Andrew notices and points it out to Neil. ‘She should just take your approach, Drew’ ’…dare I ask?’ ‘Just straight up tell her she’d give her head ;)’ ’……….amazing, you actually have a good point, mark the calendar.’
• Meanwhile, Renee is Captain Useless Lesbian and has been internally screaming for 12 years.