Some people can lift 200 pounds. But if they carried it everywhere they went for an entire day without ever putting it down, they’d severely tear their muscles and cause permanent damage to their body.
Some people can enter a 140° car in the summer to get something out of the car. But if they stayed in the car, they’d die from the heat.
Some people can hold their breath underwater for 30 seconds. But if they tried to go scuba diving without the necessary gear, they’d drown.
Clearly, someone doing something for a short period of time does not automatically mean that they can do it indefinitely with no problem.
So why do people assume that if someone can walk for a few seconds, they don’t need a wheelchair?
One thing I like about Pixar films is how the happy ending isn’t always what you think it’ll be. The toys don’t go with Andy to college, Gusteau’s restaurant gets closed down, Mike and Sully get kicked out of university, Carl never gets Ellie to Paradise Falls. But they find out that what they wanted isn’t necessarily what they needed, and I really like the fact that kids get to learn that life doesn’t always turn out the way they dreamed and that’s okay.
I remember reading this post a couple years back, and the message stuck with me since
10 Psychological Tips That’ll Help You Get Your Life Together
If you can figure out why your parents did this or that, you’ll be able to forgive them and take a huge step towards accepting yourself just as you are.
When it comes to beating yourself up for past mistakes, don’t forget that you made that decision because you felt that it was right for you at that time in your life.
If you’ve been hurt by someone, tell them how you feel, but choose your words wisely. Instead of saying, “You betrayed me!”, a much better way to open a dialogue is to say, “I feel betrayed.”
Try to have desires and goals that are your own and not somebody else’s. When we try to live another person’s life, we destroy our own.
You can change your life if you just step out of your comfort zone and start doing things you’d never imagine yourself doing.
You don’t have to be nice and accommodating for everybody and give up your own desires and expectations. It’s perfectly okay to say “no”.
Don’t wait for the right moment, take steps to make your life better every single day.
Each stressful situation pulls you out of your comfort zone. And with it, you’ve gained new experience that will help you learn your lesson so that you never repeat the same mistakes again.
Do everything that’s in your power, and then let the situation work itself out. It’s pointless to stress over something you can’t change and have no control over.
Remember you’re the person you spend your whole life with. No matter how much everyone else praises you, if you don’t like yourself, you’ll still be miserable.
Look, here’s the deal with tumblr: it moves fast. A lot of people follow enough blogs that scrolling through one’s entire dash is impossible. I remember the days when I could wake up in the morning and scroll back to the last post I saw before bed. Sweet, summer child.
Here’s the other deal with tumblr: I see so much anxiety about reblogging one’s own stuff, be it art; analysis; fanfiction; hell, personal posts and replies. I have (and continue to feel deeply) that anxiety. Every time, my inner critic and I go through the same song and dance.
Critic: You look like you’re begging for notes/replies/reblogs. People will think you’re needy/full of yourself/have to be the center of attention. You already have a few notes, why do you need more? Other people have it worst than you. Ugh, you’re just clogging the dashes of your followers. If they wanted to read it, they’d have read it already.
Me: *ball of anxiety* You’re right. Wait, no you’re not. Wait, maybe you are. Wait, no—
I’d say it’s 50/50, even now, that I’ll reblog myself.
And you know what? Fuck that.
Not everyone can get through their dash in a sitting.
Timezones are a thing.
Work hours are a thing, also affected by timezones.
Life away from tumblr is a thing (what??? I know).
There are so many reasons a person might not see your fic/art/stuff the first time. Reblog it the next day. Reblog it a week from now. Hell, set up a schedule or a queue and have it reblog itself three months from now. Go back through old fics and reblog the ones you really liked; I guarantee you have followers who are new enough to have never seen it or who would like to reread it.
Be proud of the work you do.
Oh yeah, I felt that resistance from here.
Say it again. Out loud. Write it on a post-it note and stick it where you’ll see it.
Be proud of the work you do.
You wrote/made it for a reason. And yeah, part of that reason was probably to share it with other fans. Otherwise, why post at all? I know. Man, I get it. I’m cringing even writing that. The fucked-up “don’t show off” mentality runs deep, right?
Fuck that, too.
If you have followers who unfollow you because you’re reposting your stuff (and this is hard to prove, remember; maybe they quit tumblr, maybe their interests diverged from yours, whatever), who cares? Let them go. For everyone who leaves you, many will stay. And many will be happy to see that thing they missed because of work, life, sleeping. Especially if you follow a few points of tumblr/dash etiquette:
Use cuts/read mores for anything longer than a few hundred words (I tend to cut at about 400-500 words, though if something’s under about 700 I might leave it).
Reblog at reasonable intervals (day/evening, next day reblog, etc. Hourly might be a bit much ;D).
my grandma told me something yesterday that pretty much changed my outlook on life. we were having dinner and talking about my future, and how all of my friends seem to be doing so much better than i am, and she looked at me and said “hey, if we all had the same path in life the road would be too crowded” and i haven’t stopped thinking about that since.
1. Don’t waste time being fearful: go for that job that you’re certain you’re not gonna get. What’s the worse that can happen? You are rejected, but you gain interview experience. Self-doubt is really a waste of time.
2. Live in the present. Yes, it is important to plan for the future, but it is easy to put off living until it is too late. Make sure that you have no regrets about what you should have done. Do one exciting thing per year.
3. Know your worth. This applies to both work and relationships; never sell yourself short. No job or romance is more important than your self respect. Also, charge for any unique skills/services that you can offer.
4. Don’t be afraid to leave bad situations. I left a stable but draining teaching job in order to protect my mental health. Even though this was a big risk, it was the best decision I ever made. NOTHING is more important than your mental health.
5. Most 20 somethings feel that they are underachieving. This is normal – especially in today’s financial climate. Don’t feel bad if you are still living at home and cannot afford to rent/buy. I’m 30 and still living at home, saving to buy.
6. People will disappoint you, but most of the time, it’s not about you. Everybody has their own demons and traumas that make them behave in certain ways. If somebody disrespects you, assert your boundaries and keep it moving. Also, examine if there was anything you could have done to avoid the situation. But DO NOT let it eat away at you.
7. In love, nobody owes you anything. Even if they made a promise, they are their own person…Everybody has the right to change their mind and to leave a situation which is not beneficial for them. This is hurtful and hard to accept, but it is the truth.
8. Learn to enjoy your own company. Your 20s can be a lonely time as your social sphere narrows, due to employment, finances and exhaustion. Use this time to find out more about yourself and do the things that you enjoy. There is something liberating about eating at a restaurant alone.
9. Be kind, don’t gossip or overshare. I am still working on this one. It is really difficult to be kind and positive in a world full of annoying people. However, your attitude will influence how you are being perceived. If you are unkind, people will laugh at your jokes but they will never trust you. They will never trust you not to treat them as you treat other people. Remove yourself from toxic people, and only share negativity (sadness/anger/depression) with a therapist and one other person that you trust. If you overshare negative feelings, you may be stereotyped as being full of drama. Furthermore, people will want you to stay in a negative place because it’s entertaining and makes them feel better about their own lives. Just don’t do it.
10. You cannot win every battle. Within conflict, it is tempting to try to force others to agree with your perspective. However, most people are set in their ways, and find it difficult to change their views and behaviours. This is especially important when dealing with toxic family members. You may never get the apology and empathy that you seek, so it is important to accept that every battle cannot be won, and gain validation internally, rather than externally.
Take a shower, wash off the day. Drink a glass of water. Make the room dark. Lie down and close your eyes.
Notice the silence. Notice your heart. Still beating. Still fighting. You made it, after all. You made it, another day. And you can make it one more.
Nothing but My Aching Soul 