Tag: prompts

Some neighbor aus for ya guys

happylilprompts:

  • “Listen, I really don’t like you, but you have kittens, so I’m going to be over a lot.” au 
  •  "Would you STOP coming in through the WINDOWS, it scares the hell out of me every TIME!“ au 
  •  "Listen, we have very thin walls and I heard you crying in the shower, are you okay?” au 
  •  "I was very good friends with the guy that lived here before you and basically I was over here a lot and… well old habits die hard, can I stay?“ au 
  •  "If you set the alarm off in the middle of the night ONE MORE TIME I SWEAR I WI- wait why were you even cooking at 3 am?” au 
  •  "You burst through the door because you thought you smelled smoke but it was just incense, listen you’re paying for that buddy.“ au 
  •  "You locked yourself out too?” au 
  •  "Hey, I locked myself out, can I use your phone?“ au 
  •  "You bake when you’re stressed and sometimes you give me cookies, but recently you’re giving me whole baskets each day, now I’m not complaining but are you okay?” au 
  •  "I don’t mean to sound paranoid but I’m pretty sure you’re a serial killer.“ au

prompts list :)

whcczes:

fluff/general

  1. “how much did you drink?”
  2. “aw, you’re so cute.”
  3. “what did you do?”
  4. “i asked if you were having a party. i didn’t tell you to have a party.”
  5. “this is the opposite of what i told you to do.”
  6. “well, it’s the thought that counts.”
  7. “wait, no, don’t take kissing away from me.”
  8. “okay, where are all my jumpers?”
  9. “oh, you’ve started stealing my socks now?”
  10. “yeah, okay, but i’m cooler.”
  11. “you owe me a kiss.”
  12. “how did you get in here?”
  13. “for starters, that’s impossible.”
  14. “how did you fail a survey?”
  15. “yeah, well, if you weren’t so drunk maybe i would.”
  16. “that’s not even fair.”
  17. “you promised me a cookie!”
  18. “did i ever tell you how beautiful your eyes are?”
  19. “ew, that is so sappy, i might vomit.”
  20. “i’m not playing truth or dare.”
  21. “you’re not very intimidating.”
  22. “i love you.”
  23. “well the probability of that is 0, but you go ahead.”
  24. “that was, by far, the stupidest thing you’ve ever done.”
  25. “why don’t you take a picture? it’ll last longer.”
  26. “maybe not.”
  27. “why the hell is there glitter everywhere?”
  28. “well, i’m pretty irresistible.”
  29. “how much money would you give me to flip this table, right here, right now, in the middle of class?”
  30. “detention? again?”

angst

  1. “why don’t you just go?”
  2. “no, it’s not like that.”
  3. “if you cared about me, you wouldn’t do this.”
  4. “it doesn’t matter anymore.”
  5. “what’s the point?”
  6. “fuck you.”
  7. “you should’ve said that yesterday.”
  8. “don’t lie to me.”
  9. “i swear, if you say another word, i’ll leave.”
  10. “change in mind or change in heart?”
  11. “it’s over, it’s done, just leave it be.”
  12. “why do you keep bringing it up?”
  13. “we can’t go back in time, so stop trying to reverse what you said.”
  14. “you say you’ll stop, but then you keep doing it!”
  15. “maybe in another world.”
  16. “why are you like this?”
  17. “stop making empty promises!”
  18. “what about us?”
  19. “don’t say that.”
  20. “i’m done. we’re done.”’

feel free to reblog 🙂

spicy™ dialogue™ prompts™

happylilprompts:

  • “At least you’ll die doing what you love; Walking into danger.”
  • “Here’s some cookies and some very bad news!”
  • “I have forgotten everything I’ve ever learned.”
  • “Let me keep that promise.”
  • “The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious.”
  • “Why am I always the funniest when no one is around to hear it?”
  • “Can you stay still for the next 20 minutes? No, I’m not drawing you.”
  • “Oh no, I feel bad- SYKE, no I don’t.”
  • “Next problem… we might die.”
  • “Wow, that was a great comeback.”
  • “Who is running this thing?!”
  • “You are aware that walls aren’t people, right?”
  • “Hey, go fill up your human needs.”
  • “Yeah, keep making jokes. That’ll win the war.”
  • “Yeah, I can see how hiding behind a rock is a much better strategy.”
  • “I think… everyone deserves a chance to prove themselves.”
  • “I can’t help that I’m curious.”
  • “I know you. You’re a terrible person. But as the judge here, I will look at you in the unbiased way you don’t deserve.”
  • “The mountains are calling and I must skedaddle.
  • “Who says ‘nincompoop’?!”
  • “Things fascinate me. Why wouldn’t they, when you stop to give them thought?”
  • “Are you always so easily convinced?”
  • “Look, it’s difficult for me to isolate what I hate about you the most because there is so much to hate.”
  • “That’s an order. Obey.”
  • “Look, I don’t want to swear but; What. The frick!”
  • “As the most amazing person in the room, I’ll gladly accept that.”
  • “Now power down, sass robot.”
  • “The art of not being an idiot is extremely challenging for me.”
  • “That’s troubling.”
  • “Tell your story. Become words, become ideas… you never know what or who it’ll affect.” 

One Hundred Ways to Say ‘I Love You’

p0ck3tf0x:

  1. “Pull over.  Let me drive for awhile.”
  2. “It reminded me of you.”
  3. “No, no, it’s my treat.”
  4. “Come here.  Let me fix it.”
  5. “I’ll walk you home.”
  6. “Have a good day at work.”
  7. “I dreamt about you last night.”
  8. “Take my seat.”
  9. “I saved a piece for you.”
  10. “I’m sorry for your loss.”
  11. “You can have half.”
  12. “Take my jacket, it’s cold outside.”
  13. “Sorry I’m late.”
  14. “Can I have this dance?”
  15. “I made your favourite.”
  16. “It’s okay.  I couldn’t sleep anyway.”
  17. “Watch your step.”
  18. “Here, drink this.  You’ll feel better.”
  19. “Can I hold your hand?”
  20. “You can borrow mine.”
  21. “You might like this.”
  22. “It’s not heavy.  I’m stronger than I look.”
  23. “I’ll wait.”
  24. “Just because.”
  25. “Look both ways.”
  26. “I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to.”
  27. “Try some.”
  28. “Drive safely.”
  29. “Well, what do you want to do?”
  30. “One more chapter.”
  31. “Don’t worry about me.”
  32. “It looks good on you.”
  33. “Close your eyes and hold out your hands.”
  34. “That’s okay, I bought two.”
  35. “After you.”
  36. “We’ll figure it out.”
  37. “Can I kiss you?”
  38. “I like your laugh.”
  39. “Don’t cry.”
  40. “I made this for you.”
  41. “Go back to sleep.”
  42. “Is this okay?”
  43. “I picked these for you.”
  44. “I’ll drive you to the hospital.”
  45. “What do you want to watch?”
  46. “You can go first.”
  47. “Did you get my letter?”
  48. “I’ll do it for you.”
  49. “Call me when you get home.”
  50. “I think you’re beautiful.”
  51. “Are you sure?”
  52. “Have fun.”
  53. “Sit down, I’ll get it.”
  54. “I made reservations.”
  55. “I don’t mind.”
  56. “It brings out your eyes.”
  57. “There is enough room for both of us.”
  58. “You don’t have to say anything.”
  59. “Wow.”
  60. “Happy birthday.”
  61. “I’ll pick it up after work.”
  62. “It can wait until tomorrow.”
  63. “Cross my heart and hope to die.”
  64. “It’s two sugars, right?”
  65. “I’ll help you study.”
  66. “Stay over.”
  67. “I did the dishes.”
  68. “You didn’t have to ask.”
  69. “I bought you a ticket.”
  70. “You’re warm.”
  71. “No reason.”
  72. “I’ll meet you halfway.”
  73. “Take mine.”
  74. “We can share.”
  75. “I was just thinking about you.”
  76. “I want you to have this.”
  77. “Call me if you need anything.”
  78. “Do you want to come too?”
  79. “I’ll still be here when you’re ready.”
  80. “Is your seatbelt on?”
  81. “Sweet dreams.”
  82. “I was in the neighbourhood.”
  83. “Stay there.  I’m coming to get you.”
  84. “The key is under the mat.”
  85. “It doesn’t bother me.”
  86. “You’re important too.”
  87. “I saved you a seat.”
  88. “I’ll see you later.”
  89. “I noticed.”
  90. “You can tell me anything.”
  91. “I hope you like it.”
  92. “I want you to be happy.”
  93. “I believe in you.”
  94. “You can do it.”
  95. “Good luck.”
  96. “I brought you an umbrella.”
  97. “I’ll pick you up at the airport.”
  98. “Take a deep breath.”
  99. “Be careful.”

 

And…

  100.  “I love you.”

Writing Prompts

the-moon-dust-writings:

1. “Didn’t you hear? You’re dead.”

2. “Today marks the first day in history that you weren’t a dumbass.”

3. “Even when I leave my very clear instructions, you still manage to accidentally set something on fire. How?”

4. “You were here, but then, you were there, and now, I am confused.”

5. “New things are always fun, but that doesn’t mean the old has to get any less fun.” 

6. “There was something you said that really spoke to me yesterday, oh yeah, it was-.”

7. “Moonlight is the only light I like, the sun burns me.”

8. “I moved out so I could get a dog.”

9. “What? When did that happen? How long was I gone for?”

10. “You know that arrow was meant for you right?”

11. “Maybe there was something about it that I was drawn to, maybe it was fate, but regardless, I knew I needed to have it.”

12. “My personality? Really?”

13. “I could have said something, but I didn’t, and you know why? Because I’m not a mean person, that’s why.”

14. “Hey, I get it. Don’t worry about it.”

15. “Have you ever heard a song that describes exactly how you feel, so much so, that you can’t help but listen to it over and over?”

16. “I am not going to say I am experienced in this, because I’m not. However, I have killed someone before, so that should count right?”

17. “There isn’t anything wrong with breaks. Especially breaking bones.”

18. “Maybe I didn’t! Have you ever thought about that?”

19. “Pranks are cool.”

20. “I can’t bake a cake. What makes you think I can bake a cake?”

21. “Why can’t numbers be less complicated?”

22. “Oh, that’s because I won.”

23. “You just got burned, and by burned I mean detonated. Just lie down and die. There is no bouncing back from that one.”

24. “I could say there is a silver-lining but dude, this sucks.”

25. “There wasn’t anything that I wanted more in that moment then that cake, so, I did what I had to do.”

26. “Conversations? Socializing? Being outside of my house? That sounds horrible, no.”

27. “Because even the sky cries, but beautiful things always happen after.”

28. “Today, I will be the new me, and by new me, I mean I won’t throw myself at the cookie tray.”

29. “Why are you playing the ukulele?”

30. “I dunno? Just set it on fire, I guess.”

AUs

iobeyfandoms:

Here are some aus, divided in different themes.

College themed

  1. I’m really passionate about this cause and I will give you this flier if I have to shove it down your throat
  2. My roommate’s boyfriend is staying over so can I please sleep on your floor
  3. We’re studying in the library and there are two people very obviously fucking in the stacks and we keep sharing embarrassed glances
  4. You peed on my car. You were drunk. I was in the car. There will be hell to pay
  5. My friend dragged me to this party and I just saw my ex quick make out with me
  6. It’s 3am, in the dead of winter, some motherfucker pulled/set off the fire alarm and I am being very vocal about how I’m gonna make that fucker pay
  7. I swear I’m wearing this Batman costume because of a dare
  8. Accidentally knocked on the wrong dorm room college au
  9. Heard a scream and thought you were getting killed but it was just a spider
  10. Somehow, we always end up sitting next to each other during the weekly gatherings to watch [Game of Thrones, SVU, Rupaul’s Drag Race, pick a show] in our dorm’s really good TV room 
  11. I took a bunch of free condoms from health services just because i could and they all fell out of my bag at once and now you’re staring at me weirdly

Awkward first meeting themed

  1. “This horrible umbrella won’t extend! Oh shit I just hit you in the stomach/crotch! I’m so sorry!”
  2. “I just tripped and fell face first into your crotch, god end my life now please.”
  3. “I drunkenly tried to fight you and knocked myself out but you were kind enough to take care of me till I woke up.”
  4. Trapped in a bank during a robbery 
  5. “I met you last night when you were drunkenly patting my dog in my backyard at 3 in the morning and when i asked you what the hell you were doing you slurred something about dogs being great and then you threw up on my feet and then fifteen minutes later you were passed out on my couch so that’s why you’re here right now also what the fuck is your name and why were you patting a dog in a stranger’s backyard in the middle of the night”
  6. “Last night was a haze for both of us and somehow we woke up hungover in a bed that isn’t either of ours and also neither of us recognize this apartment we should probably get out of here before someone calls the cops on us”
  7. “You found me hanging by my fingertips from your window and i don’t want to tell you i was trying to rob you but idk how else to explain this and i don’t want to go to jail and also you’re kind of cute we should make out when i’m not clinging onto your window ledge for my life”
  8. ‘you thought i was someone else and started making out with me at a club and you’re really hot so i just went with it and now we’re heading back to your place and idk how to break it to you’
  9. ‘we’re two thirds of the threesome we had last night and we’re walking awkwardly out of the last persons’s apartment together’
  10. ‘i’ve had a really awful day so i started kicking a car out of frustration and it turned out to be your car i’m so sorry’
  11. “I ordered pizza but the pizzeria got my order wrong so now I’m screaming at my really cute pizza delivery boy because I’m angry and very hungry”

Nobility themed

  1. “your country’s trying to take over/annex my country and you’re making it difficult to hate you because you’re so nice and attractive stop it”
  2. “we’ve been engaged to be married since we were three but this is the first time we’ve met and your portraits really don’t do you justice”
  3. “i’m a prince/ss and you’re a servant and we’re not supposed to hang out but we’re gonna fall in love anyways”

Opposites attract themed

  1. a hopeless romantic and a single-but-proud meet at a store on valentine’s day. the latter is buying valentine cards ironically, the former buying them sincerely in hopes of getting a date
  2. a scary-looking person who unintentionally makes kids cry and a daycare volunteer meet at a children-filled park
  3. rebellious teenager who’s failing all their classes is assigned a studious tutor
  4. really distinguished food critic and fast food chef
  5. a hopeless romantic and a horny beast are set up on a blind date

High school themed

  1. “We’re the only ones in detention”
  2. “I desperately need my books but my locker is blocked and you’re the only one in the hall”
  3. “Someone wrote I’m cute in the bathroom stall and your notes match the handwriting”
  4. “I twisted my ankle and you’re the only one here strong enough to carry me to the nurse’s office but we’re both really awkward”
  5. “We were both left out when everyone was picking partners and now we always choose each other when we have classes together”
  6. “I lent you my cool pencil months ago and you still use it”
  7. “I accidentally took your notebook thinking it was mine and you have really nice handwriting and cute doodles”
  8. “You started sitting by me at lunch because I’m alone at my table but we never talk to each other”
  9. “I was really hungry but had no money and you bought me lunch even though I don’t know you”
  10. “I left my phone number on the bathroom stall wall and you text me about your day and your frustrations for a month & it’s really nice and cute but I still don’t know who you are”
  11. “I fell asleep on your couch after a party but you didn’t complain and made breakfast for the both of us”
  12. sharing a textbook and leaving each other notes and answers in page corners
  13. found their phone number in a library book
  14. dancing partners
  15. younger siblings are best friends
  16. playing romantic interests in a play
  17. “yes i understand that it’s may and this classroom is stuffy but why are you taking your shirt off and why aren’t you in trouble (not that i mind)”
  18. “i can’t believe you dropped the frog we’re dissecting on tHE FLOOR WHAT THE FUCK”
  19. “i’m fightin this person and they shoved me into u im sooo sorry- oh hey you’re cute- oH MY GOD UR KICKIN ASS MARRY ME!!! PLEASE!!!!”
  20. “you asked me to prom by filling my locker with ping pong balls that say “prom?” on them but i tripped on one and smacked my head on a locker but thanks for taking me to the nurse!!! i still want to go with you!!”

Ridicously sentence themed

  1. “I’m going to need you to put on some underwear before you say anything else.“ 
  2. “Quick catch that cat it stole my wallet!”
  3. “I hope you know that my name is actually ________.”
  4. “That is the tenth demon summoning this week holy shit.”
  5. “Please put me down it’s just a sprained ankle" 
  6. “Why exactly do you need chloroform at 2AM?”
  7. “I’m like 75% this won’t explode on us.”
  8. “I understand the whole sleep talking thing but what I don’t understand is the princess dragon dream and why I’m in it.”
  9. “I’m sorry that I got way too into playing house and accidentally kissed you passionately.”

Height difference themed

  1. “I’m in a bookshop and I really need that book can you get it for me??? Wait you’ve read that book? let’s have an in depth conversation about it.”
  2. “You were trying to reach for a box of cereal and a whole shelf’s-worth of cereal boxes fell on you here let me help”
  3. “We’re both baristas and sometimes I have trouble reaching for things and I show up to work one day to find a personalized stool with hearts and my name on it i hATE YOU but also thanks”
  4. “You are very tall and I am very short so you run into me all the time and honestly this is getting ridiculous”
  5. I’m in art class and I just opened a cupboard to find a tiny person (you) squished inside and you just looked at and said “shh i’m hiding”
  6. “We’re on the bus and I’m really not trying to take up your space I’m sorry I just have rlly rlly long legs” 
  7. “You’re afraid that you’ll lose me in big crowds so you always hold my hand but now you just hold my hand when there’s only, like, five people around and I’m getting vry suspicious” 

Reincarnation themed

  1. I fell in love with you three lifetimes ago and I’ve been looking for you ever since but I’ve been starting to give up and my friend’s new crush has your eyes and oh god I’m not going to steal someone’s date just because I’m hoping you’re the person I met in a past life
  2. We keep reincarnating as people who speak different languages and it’s kind of pissing me off because I can never initially confirm if it’s you but at least I keep learning a bunch of cool new languages each lifetime

Mythical creatures themed

  1. “i’m a newly-turned werewolf without a pack and i can’t really control myself well on full moon nights yet and you keep finding me passed out naked on your lawn”
  2. “i got cursed and turned into an animal and taken to the shelter and ended up getting adopted by someone who is really hot OH NO”
  3. “i’m a history major and i keep getting into arguments with one of my classmates about things because they keep saying i’m wrong so i finally scream, ‘how would you know?!?’ and they’re like, ‘because i was THERE!’ and that’s how we all find out that there is a centuries-old vampire taking our British history class”

Funny meeting at a party themed

  1. “i was on my balcony and you started loudly quoting romeo and juliet at me”
  2. “spilled my drink down your shirt and then tried to drink it off you”
  3. “we had an impromptu rap duet in the middle of the party”
  4. “you kept asking everyone to play the cha cha slide then proceeded to pass out when the song started”
  5. “you keep shouting “THIS IS MY JAM” at every song that comes on i have a headache the size of nebraska you’re lucky you’re cute”
  6. “whenever you saw me you’d shout ‘WHOOOOOOOOO’ really loudly and then do finger guns at me before walking off to god knows where”
  7. “you thought I was your friend and pulled me up on the table to dance with you now you’re shirtless and grinding on me”
  8. “you got up to the mic and started singing and holy shit you’re really good???”
  9. “you’re really bad at beer pong but you do this really cute dance before you throw the ball so I’m letting you stay on my team”
  10. “our mutual friend dared the two of us to chug a whole pint of beer and I’m not going to let you beat me”
  11. “we both grabbed for the last bottle of the good beer and i’m not saying we’re going to fight for it but we are”

Competitive themed

  1. we’re both ‘team leaders’ at a summer camp for little people and you may be hot but goddammit my collection of twelve-year-olds are going to beat yours into the dust
  2. I used to be the best baker in the neighbourhood but then you showed up at Mrs Appleby’s 80th birthday with a stack of brownies which almost gave me an orgasm my honour is at stake and I’m going all out for the next event
  3. a mutual friend invited us to their laser tag party and we’re the last two alive on opposite teams and goddammit if I’m going down you’re going down with me
  4. you’re going to be at the halloween party and you’ve won best costume for the past three years but this year I am wearing the best costume ever if you defeat me I will eat my – wait you actually look really cute when did you turn hot what the fuck um
  5. we’re always making stupid bets like ‘bet you can’t drink this whole bottle of BBQ sauce’ but then you did and now you’re sick and I feel really bad here let me look after you
  6. did you actually just blue shell me on our date you fucker

“We’re bad at dating” themed

  1. I can’t tell whether this is a date because you asked to see a movie but I’m still not sure you’re queer, and I’m toeing the line because maybe you’re just trying to make friends
  2. I decided to flip a coin about every decision in my life for a week and that’s how we ended up on a date
  3. We’re both meant to be going on blind dates with other people but we sat down at the wrong table and got our hopes up
  4. We had one really bad date and never spoke again and now our friends have set us up on a blind date
  5. We’re going on a blind date – but wait a moment, aren’t you that went down on me in a back alley behind a club year ago? … what do you mean “which one”?
  6. You’re my waiter and I’m on a really crappy date with an asshole

Prompt List of Sarcasm

eternalmikaelson:

  1. “Well, what can I say? I’m a badass.” 
  2. “Define normal.” 
  3. “Do I get bonus points if I act like I care?” 
  4. “Just remember if we get caught, you’re deaf and I don’t speak English.” 
  5. “Don’t look for any redeeming qualities. I don’t have any.” 
  6. “It’s amazing how fast the world can go from bad to total shit storm.” 
  7. “I love you. You enormously stubborn pain in the ass.” 
  8. “And you wonder why you’re still single.” 
  9. “Remind me to kill you. Please.” 
  10. “I’m listening to you. I’m just not paying attention.” 
  11. “That’s a little melodramatic, don’t you think?” 
  12. “Were you dropped on your head?” 
  13. “She’s crazy. And just when you think you’ve reached the bottom of her craziness, there’s a crazy underground garage.” 
  14. “She may seem like lollipops and rainbows but I bet behind close doors she’s latex and whips.” 
  15. “If my day gets any worse, I’m asking hell if they’re having an exchange program.” 
  16. “Sorry. I don’t speak skank.” 
  17. “If I survive, can I go home?” 
  18. “My middle finger salutes you.” 
  19. “This is a whole new level of moronic, even for you.” 
  20. “I don’t think I could ever stab someone. I mean, let’s be honest. I can barely get the straw in the Capri Sun.” 
  21. “I don’t have enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel.” 
  22. “Insanity run in my family. It practically gallops.” 
  23. “Oh darling. Go buy a brain.” 
  24. “Somebody’s cranky.” “Somebody needs to shut up.” 
  25. “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.” 
  26. “All due respect, but that’s a bunch of crap.” 
  27. “I am one of the few people in the world who can murder you and leave no forensic evidence behind.” 
  28. “Excuse me. I have to go make a scene.” 
  29. “What did I tell you about calling her/him the devil?” “That it’s offensive to the devil?” 
  30. “I heard that!” “You were supposed to!” 
  31. “I need therapy after this.” 
  32. “You didn’t get in trouble for lying. You got in trouble for lying badly.” 
  33. “I’m not weird. I am limited edition.” 
  34. “I turned out liking you a lot more that I originally planned.” 
  35. “I think you’re weird.” “I think you’re boring.” 
  36. “If history repeats itself, I am so getting a dinosaur.” 
  37. “You seem somewhat familiar. Have I threatened you before?” 
  38. “I’m afraid I’ve been thinking…” “A dangerous pastime.” 
  39. “I’d explain it to you, but you’re brain would explode.” 
  40. “Wow, there’s a big surprise. I think I’m going to have a heart attack and die from surprise.” 
  41. “I’m gonna hit you so hard, it’ll make you ancestors dizzy.” 
  42. “Even when we were kids, I always kicked your ass!” 
  43. “Sarcasm is the body’s natural reaction to stupidity.” 
  44. “You’re good. A monster pain in the ass… but you’re good.” 
  45. “Well, excuse me, psychic wonder!” 
  46. “The female of the species is more deadly than the male.” 
  47. “Don’t look in her eyes, she might steal your soul.” 
  48. “She’s hot, but she’s evil.” 
  49. “Do I regret it? Yes. Would I do it again? Probably.” 
  50. “I already know that I’m going to hell. At this point it’s really go big or go home.” 
  51. “Go on, knock his teeth down his throat.” 
  52. “You’re going to burn in a very special level of hell. A level they reserve for child molesters, animal abusers and people who talk at the theater.” 
  53. “What’s the point in screaming? No one’s listening anyway.” 
  54. “I’m not a damsel in distress. I’m a damsel doing damage.” 
  55. “So stick that in your juice box and suck it.” 
  56. “Never take life seriously. No one ever comes out alive anyway.” 
  57. “This place hold a lot of memories for me. Some bad, some… No. No, no, all bad.” 
  58. “A little gasoline… blowtorch… no problem.” 
  59. “Good, bad, I’m the one with the gun.” 
  60. “I know you can’t kill anybody, ‘cause I can’t kill anybody.” 
  61. “You’re insane, but you might also be brilliant.” 
  62. “What you call insanity, I call inspiration.” 
  63. “Sometimes I question my sanity. Occasionally it replies.” 
  64. “Why should we date?” “Because we are attracted to each other.” “I am attracted to pie, but I do not feel the need to date pie.” 
  65. “Why does everyone assume the worst of me.” “It saves time.” 
  66. “I like you. You’re different.” 
  67. “You successfully cured him/her of anything interesting about his/her personality.” 
  68. “Neither one us is drunk enough for this conversation.” 
  69. “You’re questioning my methods.” “I’m not questioning it, I’m saying it’s stupid.” 
  70. “Wow, somebody needs a Happy Meal.” 
  71. “I didn’t do it!” “Then why are you laughing?” “Because whoever did it is a freaking genius.” 
  72. “Idiots. I’m surrounded by idiots.” 
  73. “You couldn’t handle me even if I came with instructions.” 
  74. “I care so little, I almost passed out.” 
  75. “Well behaved woman rarely make history.” 
  76. “You’re so weird.” “You have no idea.” 
  77. “The universe may not always play fair, but at least it’s got a hell of a sense of humor.” 
  78. “You haven’t even seen my bad side yet.” 
  79. “Obviously you have mistaken me for somebody who gives a shit.” 
  80. “How’s life treating you?” “Like I ran over it’s dog.” 
  81. “Rule number one: don’t bother sucking up. I already hate you, that’s not going to change.” 
  82. “Oh God, we’re not gonna have to hug or anything, are we.” 
  83. “I’m so glad you could come.” “Cut the crap. Give me a drink.” 
  84. “You make no sense to me.” “Welcome to my life.” 
  85. “Have fun being deal.” “I will.” 
  86. “Damn, you’re strong for a little thing.” 
  87. “It’s called thinking. Go with it.” 
  88. “I made a new friend today.” “Real or imaginary?” “Imaginary.” 
  89. “Where have you been all my life?” “Hiding from you.” 
  90. “I’m getting real bored and impatient. I don’t do bored and impatient.” 
  91. “The girl is strange no question.” 
  92. “Do us a favor… I know it’s difficult for you… but please, stay here, and try no to do anything… stupid.” 
  93. “I know most people don’t like me; I don’t care, I don’t like most people.” 
  94. “You are a very strange person.” “Well, thanks for noticing.” 
  95. “I can tell that you think what you’re saying is funny, but… no.”
  96. “I didn’t steal it. I permanently borrowed it.” 
  97. “I’m not shy. I’m just examining my prey.” 
  98. “If you pull out my earphones, I will pull out your lungs.”
  99. “I don’t dislike you, I nothing you.” 
  100. “Are you crying? No, I’m impersonating a fountain.” 
  101. “Ah, he’s playing hard-to-get. That’s cute.” 
  102. “You’re kinda anti-social, you know that?” 
  103. “I feel like a freakin’ soccer mom.” 
  104. “My advice is much more subtle. Stop being an ass.” 
  105. “I’m just gonna pack up and go straight to hell now.” 
  106. “My ex? Yeah, I’d still hit that. Except this time it would be with a car or baseball bat.” 
  107. “She’s complicated like the DaVinci code, you know but harder to crack.” 
  108. “And just like everything else we do around here, it’s about to get weirder.” 
  109. “Such big evil in such a little thing.” 
  110. “Why do I still like you, knowing you’re a total asshole?” 
  111. “What does not kill you will likely try again.” 
  112. “Oh honey, I would but… I don’t want to.” 
  113. “And hello to you too… little homewrecker.” 
  114. “I’m gonna make you wish you were dead.” 
  115. “I don’t need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off.” 
  116. “What doesn’t kill me might make me kill you.”
  117. “In another life, I think I was in a mental institution.” 
  118. “I’m not crazy. I’m just interesting.” 
  119. “Don’t make me pop your ten grand sand bags honey.” 
  120. “This is fun.” “Seriously, we’re trying to hide a body.” 

Request [x] Masterlist [x]

The way you said “I love you.“

trash-by-vouge:

Some fluffy, some angsty prompts

  1. As a hello
  2. With a hoarse voice, under the blankets
  3. A scream
  4. Over a cup of tea
  5. Over a beer bottle
  6. On a sunny Tuesday afternoon, the late sunlight glowing in your hair
  7. As a thank you
  8. As an apology
  9. When baking chocolate chip cookies
  10. Not said to me
  11. With a shuddering gasp
  12. When we lay together on the fresh spring grass
  13. In a letter
  14. A whisper in the ear
  15. Loud, so everyone can hear
  16. Over and over again, till it’s nothing but a senseless babble
  17. When the broken glass litters the floor
  18. From very far away
  19. With no space left between us
  20. As we huddle together, the storm raging outside
  21. Over your shoulder
  22. Muffled, from the other side of the door
  23. Through a song
  24. Without really meaning it
  25. In a blissful sigh as you fall asleep
  26. Broken, as you clutch the sleeve of my jacket and beg me not to leave
  27. A taunt, with one eyebrow raised and a grin bubbling at your lips
  28. When I am dead
  29. Slowly, the words dripping from your tongue like honey
  30. Too quick, mumbled into your scarf
  31. In awe, the first time you realised it
  32. In a way I can’t return
  33. On a post-it note
  34. Before we jump
  35. As a goodbye

send me a pairing + a number!

preciousghoul:

  1. “why are you at my doorstep at 3 in the morning…”
  2. “holy shit! i finally found something i’m better in than you!”
  3. “no what the FUCK get that THING away from me!”
  4. “you’re clearly hurting stop putting up a strong front”
  5. “hey sorry but i kinda ran away from home so let me stay over tonight”
  6. “if you really want to, i’ll let you go”
  7. “we’re made for each other”
  8. “will you hear me out?”
  9. “i don’t think i can do this anymore”
  10. “i can go out with you, but don’t expect anything from me”
  11. “like hell i’m leaving you when you look at me like that”
  12. “why the heck aren’t we making out?”
  13. “didn’t you hear me the first time?”
  14. “stay with me, goddammit!” 
  15. “h-hey! why are you crying all of a sudden?!”
  16. “oh… sorryomgwrongnumber”
  17. “why are you staring at me”
  18. “fuck. off.”
  19. “i’m sorry, but who are you?”
  20. “for you, anything.”
  21. “wow i did not know you had a weak spot like that”
  22. “dating advice #1: you don’t look at anyone other than me”
  23. “i don’t want to break up”
  24. “you don’t get to trample on my feelings like that!”
  25. “it’s been a long time since i saw your smile”
  26. “i just wanted you to be happy”
  27. “kiss me”
  28. “don’t make me say it!”
  29. “we can’t return to those times anymore”
  30. “i have everything – i have you”
  31. “i’m sorry i ended up falling for you”
  32. “what do you mean you’re not attractive whatthefuck”
  33. “wait what did you just say you love me?”
  34. “why did it have to be you”
  35. “you don’t even have a clue about the things you do to me”
  36. “please don’t leave me behind”
  37. “i won’t leave you behind”
  38. “only in front of you did i want to look cool always”
  39. “have you come to hate me?”
  40. “me and you? we’re simply not cut out for this lovers thing”
  41. “you’re so embarrassing ugh…”
  42. “i’ve lied to you about many things but i wasn’t lying when i said i loved you”
  43. “i can’t believe we didn’t find each other until now”
  44. “why is so hard to breathe when you’re standing next to me?”
  45. “at least i’m yours”
  46. “this wasn’t how i planned our first date!”
  47. “it’s fine even if you don’t love me”
  48. “i don’t want this to be just physical”
  49. “lets do this again next year”
  50. “i just thought i really loved you”

GUESS WHO LOVES AUS

ciraeus:

I don’t claim to create any of these and please feel free to add on bUT HERE YOU GO YOU PRECIOUS DORKS HAVE FUN

General

  • Coffee Shop AU
  • together literally every day AU
  • vet clinic AU
  • college professors AU
  • on a train together and the train is stopped in the middle of nowhere for some reason AU
  • Letter found in an old notebook AU
  • Road trip across the country and accidentally crossing paths AU
  • Work at the same shitty restaurant and have all the same shitty shift times AU
  • Record store AU
  • basically just like a coffee shop AU but with music
  • Always getting the same cashier when checking out at Target no matter what day it is AU
  • 1950’s diner AU
  • Youtubers AU
  • Found the phone number of an old childhood friend in some box at the back of your closet and decided to call it to see if it still worked AU
  • ‘I live in the apartment below yours and I keep getting your mail this needs to stop dammit’ AU
  • Going up to the mountains for Christmas and getting stuck at the ski resort because of bad weather AU
  • ENGLISH LOVE AFFAIR AU
  • Going to the fair and rocking the Ferris wheel seat so the person sitting next to you clings to you like a lifeline AU
  • Walked into the wrong classroom and didn’t realize until halfway through AU
  • Hugged to wrong person from behind AU
  • Waved back at someone who wasn’t waving to you in the first place AU
  • snowed in AU
  • lives alone in the woods and finds a confused lost person walking around AU
  • finding a puppy on the side of the road AU
  • asthma attack without the inhaler in the middle of the night and the other one has to calm them down AU
  • spy AU
  • con artists AU
  • grew up as best friends but you got hot over the summer can I touch ur biceps AU
  • scared of flying AU
  • “I have no idea how to work this washing machine, can you help me?“
  • person A asking for directions from person B because they’re new in town and hopelessly lost
  • constantly fighting for the best seat in the library/coffee shop/whatever
  • Neighbors who only meet because I cannot get this stupid jar open, can you help?
  • Argue over the last jar of cranberry sauce at the 7/11 au.
  • Both stood up on blind dates au
  • Buddy cop au
  • 1940s noir au
  • Meet in a diner at 2am au
  • Patients on the same hospital ward au
  • while volunteering in the library for a summer reading scheme, got talking to the guy who brought cousins to sign up au
  • talked for hours in a queue for tickets au
  • asked for advice for a recipe in the supermarket because you had no internet connection au
  • showed you had to use the gym equipment and then turned out to be your gym class instructor au
  • met at a Renaissance  faire AU
  • sat next to each other on a roller coaster AU
  • got locked out of dorm room AU
  • camping in the same area AU
  • hurricane during a beach trip AU
  • met at a card game competition AU
  • kids go to the same school AU
  • repairman AU
  • strip club AU
  • surfer AU
  • private security AU
  • Deep into Character Development AU
  • meeting while waiting for hours on end in the emergency room au
  • monopoly night au
  • commiserating on a night shift at McDonalds au
  • you were the only one that offered to help me move in au
  • marching band au
  • sharing a high school textbook and leaving each other notes and answers in page corners au
  • working in a museum au
  • panicked yelling in unison because of lost baggage in between connecting flights au
  • I keep calling tech support because you’re helpful and also your voice is really cute au
  • rival ice cream trucks au
  • you helped me get my kayak upright so we’re friends forever au
  • competitive buskers who eventually form a band au
  • newspaper advice columnists who passive-aggressively diss one another in their advice au
  • working at a theatre together during the midnight premiere of a blockbuster au
  • Coffee shop AU
  • found their phone number in a library book au
  • hitchhiker ride au
  • met through online rpg au
  • accidentally taking each other’s bags au
  • camp councilors au
  • antiques shop au
  • called the wrong number while drunk au
  • sex shop au
  • found your their dog au
  • crashed the their car au
  • yoga class au
  • public demonstration au
  • Both Speak a Different Language and Have to Communicate Another Way AU
  • Small Town Lovers AU
  • Road Trip AU
  • meeting on Tumblr au
  • artists au
  • lost in a museum au
  • meeting on an online game au
  • art shop au
  • mattress store au
  • Goth au
  • grocery store au
  • wrong apartment au
  • pizza delivery au
  • on the same sports team au
  • Arranged Marriage AU 
  • CIA AU
  • Fallen Angel AU 
  • James Bond AU 
  • Fashion Designer AU 
  • Dancer AU 
  • CEO AU 
  • Band on a Tour AU 
  • reached for the last snack item at the same time au
  • accidentally ‘borrowed’ their towel at their gym au
  • saw their number graffitied on a toilet stall au
  • parents signed them up for the same shitty art/science program au
  • met on omegle au
  • thirst follow au
  • mail keeps coming to the wrong address au
  • I think your dog likes my dog” au
  • Wrong bag AU 
  • Hey can I use your charger AU 
  • Missed the same flight AU
  • Accidentally fall asleep on stranger AU
  • Can I use your hotspot AU
  • Running late for same flight AU
  • Get in the same cab AU
  • Share the same layover AU
  • Racing on the walkway AU
  • Hot pilot AU
  • Sitting by the same wall plug AU
  • Getting lost in the airport AU
  • Last bag of gummy bears in the machine AU
  • Thinking they’re someone else and jump hugging them AU
  • Airport bar AU 
  • Commenting on the TV in the gate AU 
  • Can I borrow money for the pay phone AU
  • Huge storm all planes grounded AU
  • Stuck in the subway AU
  • Huge blizzard only one room left in the hotel AU 
  • Both in the smoking room AU
  • Scared of flying and needing comfort AU
  • In line together AU
  • Grabbed wrong shoes in security AU
  • Grabbed wrong anything in security AU
  • Being patted down AU 
  • Don’t speak the language AU 
  • Help with wheel chair AU 
  • Took the wrong phone off the charger station AU 
  • Plane pressure drop and helping with the mask AU 
  • Only one on late night bus AU 
  • Wrong tour group AU 
  • Oops went the wrong way AU 
  • Why didn’t you recycle that AU
  • My airplane TV screen doesn’t work can I watch yours AU 
  • Heard childhood best friends name being called on the loudspeaker AU
  • Heard first loves name being called AU 
  • Ghost haunting airport AU 
  • Only open seat in a diner AU 
  • Can I have a stick of gum AU 
  • Wearing the same shirt as a stranger AU 
  • How many ways do you think we could smuggle drugs AU
  • Actually smuggling drugs AU 
  • Human trafficking AU 
  • Left wallet in a cab AU 
  • Talking about art in a museum AU 
  • Both typing essays on plane and helping each other AU
  • Rival teams heading to the same tournament AU
  • Vampires
  • Band heroes
  • Librarians
  • Office romance/bromance
  • Genderbend
  • Hospital staff
  • Hollywood
  • Broadway
  • Bandits/criminals
  • Medieval
  • Modern
  • shape shifter au
  • road trip au
  • stripper au
  • elevator stopped and we can’t get out au
  • one is a ghost au
  • debate on a mutual friends status au
  • librarian assistant au
  • dog walker au
  • internet friends au
  • scared of flying on a plane au
  • amnesia au
  • bookshop au
  • high school teachers au
  • goes to wrong apartment when drunk au
  • music store au
  • cross dresser au
  • foster care au
  • witness protection au
  • meet in online rpg au
  • picked a random number in a phone book and got you au
  • ice skaters au
  • roller skaters au
  • dancing partners au
  • singing partners au
  • mermaid au
  • stuck in an elevator together au
  • daycare au
  • yoga class au
  • Disney au
  • meeting on a vacation au
  • gangsters/ mobsters au
  • dystopian au
  • utopian au
  • wizard AU where one accidentally apparates into the wrong house
  • bffs when they were little but one moved away and they run into each other again AU
  • archaeologist AU
  • paramedic AU
  • ghosts in love AU
  • go to the same support group AU
  • just keep running into each other everywhere AU
  • younger siblings are best friends AU
  • ski patrol au
  • McDonalds au
  • you work at the ice cream stand across from my hamburger place and you’re cute au
  • the electricity went out and I don’t have candles au
  • you turned up at my door sopping wet and I don’t know what else to do au
  • reached for the last item on the shelf au
  • detention au
  • playing romantic interests in a play au
  • time travel au
  • summer camp au
  • sat next to each other on the train/airplane/bus au
  • stuck in an airplane au
  • went on the school trip together au
  • ballet au
  • Boarding school au
  • romantic comedy scriptwriters AU 
  • Disney world characters au
  • Picking apples at grocery store when all of them fall down AU
  • Modern royalty AUs
  • Egyptologists AUs
  • Book club AUs
  • Met at comic con AUs
  • Lifeguard AUs
  • 1920s con artists AUs
  • Time traveling AUs
  • Struggling artists AUs
  • incredibly long cross-country train ride AU
  • police procedural AU
  • bookstore AU
  • reluctant teammates that save the world together AU
  • platonic living together AU
  • lawyers AU
  • stuck-in-an-airport-because-the-flights-were-SO-VERY-delayed-and-it’s-like-two-am AU
  • sent to live with cousins AU
  • pretending to be siblings because of reasons AU
  • teaming up to rescue respective abducted children AU
  • pseudo-adopting-the-runaway-I-ran-into AU
  • forget high school students AU I want a high school teachers AU
  • law school AU
  • on the same college tour AU
  • trapped in a bank during a robbery AU
  • forced to share a table at the coffee shop a couple days in a row because crowded coffee shop and no room AU
  • DOCTORS AU
  • medical school AU
  • ride the same bus

Domestic AUs

  • Sock skating in the newly waxed floors.
  • Fighting over the thermostat settings.
  • Movie night on the couch.
  • With nowhere else to be, they both spend their rare day off at home.
  • Hosting a holiday party for their mutual friends.
  • Game night.
  • “Oh! Hey! Could you come and taste this to see if it’s okay?”
  • Your stray red item turned my whites pink.
  • Rosh ambo to see who has to go talk to the neighbors upstairs for being too loud.
  • Swapping “miracle cure recipes” for hangovers.
  • Having to put up holiday decorations together after a big fight.
  • Target practice with marshmallow shooter and the local kit of pigeons.
  • Power outage causes them to have dinner by candle light.
  • “My parents are coming over in 10 minutes so please put some clothes on”
  • Person A is sick and Person B takes care of them.
  • “What is ______ doing in the freezer?”
  • Person A runs into Person B’s one-night stand at breakfast.
  • Sharing book titles/CDs.
  • Volunteers to investigate the strange noises coming from the closet.
  • Begrudgingly adopts the cat that climbed in through the open window and hid in said closet.
  • The ceiling is leaking. Who wants to deal with the apartment manager?
  • Person A suspect the new neighbors are serial killers. Person B attempts to placate them.
  • Choosing to repaint the apartment and goes to the hardware store together to pick out color swatches.
  • Thunderstorm cuddles

Roommate/Neighbors AU

  • ‘friend of a friend needs a place to stay before they get evicted’ au
  • ‘roommate falls in the shower and breaks an arm’ au
  • ‘roommate has a nightmare and doesn’t want to sit alone at night’ au 
  • ‘new roommate cooks alone for the first time and almost burns down the house’ au
  • ‘roommate gets sick and needs tissues and cough sweets and soup’ au
  • ‘overhearing roommate singing in the shower to find out they sound angelic’ au
  • ‘My roommate is kind of hot?????’
  • Walks in on roommate crying while watching a movie in the living room.
  • my roommate’s boyfriend is staying over so can I please sleep on your floor
  • walking in on hot roommate masturbating oh my god
  • Sorry my roommate puked on your shoes
  • “wait, you’re not the roommate I requested”
  • Neighbors in a shitty apartment building that share a sense of solidarity for each other (also a mutual attraction because hot what)

Romance!

  • I promise I’m not hitting on you but you smell really good"
  • Sleepy kisses AU
  • Inappropriately timed confessions
  • INAPPROPRIATELY TIMED PROPOSALS
  • At a ski lodge and somehow got stuck outside in the middle of the storm but hey look there’s a conveniently abandoned cabin I guess the logical thing to do is go in there and snuggle for warmth for the night
  • Seeing love interest in formal wear for the first time whaaat
  • Everyone thinks they’re dating and then they start wondering if they’re dating
  • Oops friend looks like the only place to sleep in this house is this small, twin-sized bed, guess we’ll have to share
  • Crashed the wrong wedding and now the best man/maid of honor is on my ass, but hey they’re kinda hot so???
  • drama school rivals being cast as romantic opposites because they have “crazy sexual tension” according to their director AU
  • You belong to a rival team, but I’m falling head first for you and I’m trying my hardest to not throw the championship game away au.
  • I see you with the same person all the time and I assume you two are in a relationship so I’ll just pine for you from a distance au.
  • We’ve been together for a while now and I want to have a family with you but don’t know how to approach the topic since you made it pretty clear that you dislike children au.
  • you’re in the air force and I’m in the marines and deeply in love you, but I’m not sure if it’s possible for us to be anything because I just got my orders and I’ll be an ocean away from you au.
  • Drunk dialed/texted ex/crush oh hell
  • We met years ago when you helped me find my mom when I got lost in the mall and I never forgot your soft smile even after all these years au.
  • I work the late shift at the bar and you recently started being a regular during the evening, always looking like a wreck and one day I finally worked up the nerve to ask if you were okay. You tell me how you have twins and the mother/father left and you don’t know what to do so you’re drinking your problems away au.
  • You’re my tutor on a subject that I can easily ace but I’m only acting stupid because I really want to know how your lips taste and feel like against mine au.
  • I’m a criminal detective investigating a murder and you’re a suspect. You definitely look the part of a murderer… unfortunately. It should be illegal to be that hot and menacing au.
  • You and I meet at a bachelor/ette show with both of us hoping to get with, well, the bachelor/ette only to find and fall for each other au.
  • ‘I guess we’ll have to share the bed’
  • ‘maybe we should pretend to date’
  • ‘Oh no….look like we trapped in this closet together….’
  • kissed them as a distraction while stealing their wallet au
  • I can’t go alone to my ex’s wedding
  • Omg our car broke down in a snowstorm
  • Hot single dad hires broke babysitter
  • “we’re the only ones who didn’t get the email about class being canceled” au
  • “we’re the only ones on campus who didn’t go home for Christmas” au
  • “can u help me sneak my cat into my dorm” au
  • “accidentally got assigned the same library study room so I guess we’ll have to share for the semester” au
  • “It’s raining and u forgot your umbrella so come over and stand under mine while we wait for the bus” au

EVERYTHING IS THE SAME BUT

  • antlers AU
  • wings AU
  • spirit animal that follows them around AU
  • It rains ducks AU (Like the bird. Srs)
  • name on the wrist for soulmate AU
  • first words of what your soulmate says to you on wrist AU
  • every time a person falls in love, a red line like a tally mark appears on their wrist More info here

PEN PALS or LETTERS

  • pen pals AU
  • pen pals for class au
  • Pen pals who meet in person for the first time AU
  • pen pals who vent at each other every week au

APOCALYPSE

  • Apocalypse survivors au
  • ‘Maybe if we met before the apocalypse I could have loved you properly.’ AU
  • being reunited after surviving the zombie apocalypse unknowing if the other was alive or dead AU

Random

  • “are we both robbing the same house oh fuck” AU
  • growing up together in a rough neighborhood AU
  • mutual friends always dragged to the same inane barbecues AU
  • ‘I heard you singing backstreet boys at 3am and decided to sing along oops’ AU
  • ’ holy shit I’m in the wrong car’ AU
  • LASER TAG AU
  • ‘Omg I can’t believe you still listen to CDs let me help you digitize’ AU
  • ’ I know you steal my Wi-Fi to watch porn but it’s kind of hot idk’ AU
  • ‘My pet really hates your pet’ AU
  • ’ Customer that knows wayyyy more than the brand new employee please help me out’ AU
  • ‘I was walking by the roller coasters and SOMEONE’S SHOE FLEW OFF AND HIT ME IN THE HEAD” AU
  • ‘dude I know we don’t know each other but my swim trunks came off when I jumped in the water can you grab them for me’ AU
  • ”it’s 2am and I’m drunk and I need some goddamn French fries right now so open your fucking door’ AU
  • SWIM TEAM AU
  • ‘got mistaken for a celebrity by the celebrity’s biggest fan’ AU
  • ‘this person just fell asleep on me in the subway but they’re cute so whatever’ AU
  • ‘sorry I set the fire alarm in our building off again for the forty-eighth time I was trying to cook’ AU
  • ‘so YOU’RE the douchebag who keeps mowing their lawn while I’m trying to sleep’ AU
  • ‘I know nothing about camping will you help me I think I heard a bear’ au
  • WINDOW WASHER AU 
  • ‘we’re literally the only two kids who ride this school bus maybe we should carpool or make out or something’ AU
  • ‘I hired you off craigslist to be my date for a wedding’ AU
  • ’I’m a werewolf but I’m embarrassed to tell you because my wolf form is more like a Chihuahua’ AU
  • ‘we both tried to rob a bank at the same time’ AU
  • fighting a squirrel AU
  • ”your sandcastle is pathetic” beach au
  • ‘I’m pretending to be ur bff because u looked VERY uncomfortable with that person at the bar hitting on u’ AU
  • ‘What the fuck are you doing it’s midnight why are you playing ‘My Heart Will Go On’ on the piano’ AU
  • Alternatively, ‘I’m going to lean out the window and sing along until you fucking stop and wonder who else is singing’ AU
  • ‘Your cat keeps getting into my house and I don’t even know how would you care to explain’ AU
  • ‘I forgot to do my homework so I’m just going to copy off of you and hope that you didn’t get the answers wrong’ AU
  • “which asshole hasn’t returned the DVD I want yet” au
  • Model who looks and acts really professional at the photo shoot but is actually a huge nerd AU
  • AU where they are coincidentally seated next to each other at a sports game as strangers and get caught by the Kiss Cam
  • Stole a car with someone sleeping in the back seat [Turns out that the car had already been stolen so basically you just stole a stolen car] AU
  • I lost a bet and I am a man of my word so here I am about to get a bikini wax for the first time. I knew it was going to be painful but what I wasn’t expecting was that a really hot guy going to do the waxing and now I’m trying failing to not get a hard on au.
  • We’re guild mates in a mmorpg and I’ve only ever heard your voice and I may or may not have jacked off to you just talking while I had my mic off. And now I accidentally forgot to turn it off and you heard me breathing hard moaning your name as I came on myself au.
  • Our families loathe each other because we’re competing for the best pizza restaurant title and now they asked us to get close to each other to steal the opposing family’s secret. But the thing was that we’ve been together for months so we fake a fake relationship and give our family false information au.
  • rival superhero’s who are trying to protect the same small city
  • posted a joke ad in the classifieds but someone actually responded
  • person A who sits in the back of every staff meeting and makes snarky comments under their breath about everyone the whole time and person B who arrived late and sat next to them and can barely hold in their laughter
  • “we both got in separate bar fights downtown and now we’re waiting in the ER comparing stories" au
  • “accidentally fell in your lap while standing on this crowded bus” au
  • “tried to get the candy bar that didn’t drop out of the vending machine and now my hand is stuck can u help me out” au
  • “I rented the apartment above your flower shop and in the last two months you’ve gotten a new flower I’m allergic to so I keep buying bouquets until I can figure out which kind it is” au
  • “you know you’re singing to your headphones out loud, right” au
  • beat the crap out of each other in online multiplayer au
  • worked really well together in online co-op au
  • met while buying condoms at the corner store
  • little kids getting way too caught up in make-believe AU
  • got involved in a heated game of Smash Bros. at a con AU 

Movies, Anyone?

  • Labyrinth au!
  • Jurassic park au?
  • Bonnie and Clyde or Thelma and Louise au
  • GREASER/SOCS AU OH MY GOD
  • Breaking Bad AU 
  • FRIENDS AU 
  • Zombie AU 
  • Season 5 of SPN AU 
  • Lucifer and Michael AU 
  • Backpacking Across Europe AU 
  • Kingdom Hearts AU 
  • Mermaid AU 
  • Beauty and the Beast AU 
  • Adam and Eve AU 
  • Noah’s Ark AU 
  • Fight club au
  • Murder mystery au
  • Reality TV show au
  • Both cosplay the same character at a con au
  • Sitting next to each other in the theatre au.

 It Takes Two to Tango

  • Soldiers on opposing side au
  • Prisoner and prison guard au
  • war prisoner/captor who lets them go but they want to stay AU
  • One character is an angel and one is a demon au
  • Taken hostage at the bank au
  • Alternatively, Hostage Taker and Hostage
  • Tailor and customer au
  • Next to each other on a turbulent plane journey au
  • both turned to look at a cute kid and saw each other au
  • got debating on a mutual friend’s status au
  • asked a library helper for reading advice and got excited about the same books au
  • Sitting in Detention AU
  • Asking a date to Prom AU
  • Proposal AU
  • Wedding Planner and Wedding Caterer AU
  • Actor/Rock star and agent AU
  • Author and Illustrator AU
  • Vet and Pet Owner AU
  • School Rivals AU
  • 7 minutes in heaven/Truth or Dare AU
  • Stuck in an Elevator for 3+ hours AU
  • Book Seller and Customer AU
  • Running from the police AUs
  • Librarian AUs
  • Rebels against the government AUs
  • Internet friends AUs
  • Rock star and groupie AUs
  • Accidentally read his/her diary AUs
  • photographer and model AU
  • writer and editor AU
  • immortal and non-immortal AU
  • Immortal and Methuselah AU
  • screenwriter and director AU
  • Greek god and roman counterpart AU
  • We were skiing/snowboarding and got on the same lift and now the lift is stuck au
  • runaway royalty and confused commoner AU
  • android and human AU
  • orchestra player/pianist and concertgoer AU
  • mailman(/woman) and person who receives a lot of mail AU
  • private detective and client AU
  • protester and police officer AU
  • lab partners AU
  • new neighbors AU
  • one’s blind and falls in love with the other’s voice AU
  • hair stylist/makeup artist and actor/model AU
  • cat/dog runs away and other person finds it AU
  • mistaken identity AU
  • sit next to each other in orchestra/band/class AU
  • Partners in (literal) crime AU (theft? fraud? hacking? murder?)
  • partners in dance class AU
  • trapped on a deserted island together AU
  • crashed their car au
  • psychologist/ patient au
  • teacher/ student au
  • fell asleep on a stranger au
  • Superhero and/or Villain AU
  • understudy for play/musical au
  • date auction for charity
  • alternatively, buyer and the date
  • rescuing their partner from a recon mission gone wrong AU
  • Run into each other in a hospital while there for really stupid reasons
  • Both have same obscure taste in music and meet in a dark corner of a music store
  • ‘camp counselors at the same sleep away camp’ au
  • ‘my new FBI partner/consultant is really hot’ au
  • ‘we have to sing a duet together but I hate you’ au
  • ‘I should not be this attracted to the new intern’ au
  • ‘you accidentally shipped this weird thing to my apartment’ au
  • ‘my new best friend’s sibling is so hot’ au
  • ‘forced lab partners’ au
  • ‘you just joined the -sports team here- that I’m the captain of’ au
  • ‘we both tried to grab the last copy of that book in the shop’ au
  • ‘we went to a con/party dressed as a couple on accident’ au
  • ‘my roommate’s best friend is really obnoxious but also hot’ au
  •  ‘we’re the only ones in this subway car and the metro broke down’ au
  • the ‘new bartender at my favorite bar is unfairly attractive’ au

Fuckin’ Assholes

  • kept kicking the back of my chair at the theatre au
  • tried breaking into my flat when they were drunk because they thought it was theirs au
  • always arrives at the cafeteria 30 seconds before me and takes the last sandwich I like au
  • repeatedly comes into the shop I work at and picks up a lettuce then half way through the shop
  • decides they don’t want the lettuce and puts it back on the shelf next to them regardless of what aisle they’re in au

HALLOWEEN

  • I tried to buy all the Halloween candy in a store before you could
  • Met trying to grab the last of a costume in a specific size
  • Came to the wrong Halloween party
  • Wore the same exact costume
  • Surprise decorating neighbor’s yard with fake spiders/webs
  • Pranked the wrong person on accident
  • Grabbed at the same time for the last copy of a scary movie 
  • Came to investigate someone screaming next door 
  • The kids we’re escorting to trick or treat dropped their bags 
  • Accidentally scared a kid and their adult is angry
  • Dog chased me up a tree when I tried to knock on the door 
  • Tried to get the last perfectly round pumpkin at the same time
  • You took my pumpkin pie on accident and I have your apple one
  • I ran out of candy and aren’t you too old to be trick or treating
  • Hugged/kissed wrong person in a costume like my friend’s.
  • Stuck in the same group for a haunted house and grabbed each other when something jumped out at them
  • ‘I was unaware that there was an organized zombie crawl going on and I didn’t realize you were in a costume and I screamed in your face because I truly thought I was facing a zombie invasion’ au

COLLEGE 

  • turns out that random hookup from the club sits right next to you in your favorite class
  • skipping class to get high
  • I really need to pass this midterm and rumor has it you have the best study guide"
  • I’m really passionate about this cause and I will give you this flier if I have to shove it down your throat
  • vicious battle over the only left handed desk in the room
  • It’s pouring and my final paper is in my backpack so I guess we’re stuck under this tiny awning together. do you think they’d deliver pizza here
  • hey I have to photograph someone for class will you be my model
  • hey I have to take someone’s blood pressure for class will you be my victim
  • I know I keep coming to the cookie shop and for some reason it’s always your shift but don’t you dare judge me I need these for my sanity
  • all our friends are drunk
  • it’s 3 am and I’m still in the library studying for finals and I’m losing my grip on reality and I think I just saw a ghost
  • We’re the only two people in this club. what is this club even for
  • humans vs zombies (see you can still have your zombie AU, best of both worlds)
  • we’re the only people who ever talk in discussions it’s awful
  • GROUP PROJECT
  • #both of us turned up at the wrong room for this lecture but don’t know where its meant to be 
  • waiting outside for pizza to be delivered and both of ours are super late
  • you keep parking in the space outside my student house you absolute asshole
  • we live in halls opposite each other and I keep seeing you changing through your window 
  • #you’re the only other person in the room when I break the printer and I’m panicking 
  • Neither of us bought the expensive textbook but there is only one copy in the library and it can’t leave the building
  • This awesome professor only has one TA slot and we’re rivals
  • I found your USB drive still in the computer
  • I thought I was the only one who liked the waffle station in the cafeteria
  • You keep reserving the good study room in the corner of the library with the windows
  • We’re studying in the library and there are two people very obviously fucking in the stacks and we keep sharing embarrassed glances
  • We’re both donating blood in the blood donation van in the quad to get out of the same class
  • You decked me in the head while you were playing Frisbee golf
  • Wait, I actually have a competent lab partner?
  • You’re the RA and you’re trying to bust me for having hermit crabs
  • You’re baking cookies in the communal kitchen at 3am and I’m angry but also really hungry
  • What are you doing at this table at the career fair
  • Waiting for office hours
  • I’ve been sitting in this seat all semester why did you decide to sit in it today
  • Clearly we’re both really uncomfortable at this party
  • You peed on my car. You were drunk. I was in the car. There will be hell to pay.
  • We started racing up the three flights of stairs to class for some reason and we can’t stop
  • You’re REALLY GOOD at using the right search terms for the academic databases and I’m on a deadline
  • both stuck in the dorm common room because their respective roommates needed “alone time”
  • my friend dragged me to this party and I just saw my ex quick make out with me
  • we’re always at the fitness center at the same time and end up competing on the treadmill
  • Can I borrow a dryer sheet? I ran out and the ones in the vending machine give me a rash
  • Your school mailbox is right next to mine
  • I saw you sneaking captain crunch and cutlery out of the dining hall
  • My roommate borrowed your contraband hotpot and managed to set it on fire
  • You keep using my preferred shower stall in the floor bathrooms when I’m trying to get ready for class
  • My computer crashed and you’re the student worker at the IT center
  • we’re both on athletic teams that aren’t as cool as the football team and they give us shit
  • You’re part of the guerrilla theater club on campus and crashed my class for a performance
  • What do you mean we’re under a tornado warning?
  • it’s 3am, in the dead of winter, some motherfucker pulled/set off the fire alarm and I am being very vocal about how I’m going to make that fucker pay
  • you’re the fucker who set off the fire alarm with your awful cooking
  • I’m the fucker who set off the fire alarm with my awful cooking
  • my shower isn’t working can I use yours
  • RA mandated floor party
  • I couldn’t help but notice you’re watching a show I like instead of studying in the computer lab
  • dude your headphones are really loud like I can make out most of Kanye’s lyrics and I’m sitting across the fucking room
  • Hey the semester’s almost over and I have way too much money on my cafeteria account, do you want anything??? this shit’s just going to disappear into the college’s pocket otherwise
  • THERE IS A BOUNCY CASTLE IN THE OVAL AND I AM VERY EXCITED
  • I’ve ordered take out every night this week and you always seem to be my delivery person
  • we’re both skipping class to study for a different class
  • you live above me and I’m going to murder you if you don’t stop throwing parties Sunday night
  • there’s only one study room left in the dorm basement and I don’t want to walk to the library, let’s fight for it
  • I swear I’m wearing this Batman costume because of a dare
  • The guy with the bibles on the quad has cornered me and is screaming about hell, please rescue me
  • lecture room bingo for annoying things your prof says
  • you’re obviously high or hungover so I’m going to rescue you and tell the teacher why your answer wasn’t as strange as it sounded, but you’ll owe me
  • holy fuck you found me on the roof please don’t be an RA
  • You’re standing right next to me while we’re both flyering and catching all of the people walking past before I can
  • Alternatively, we’re standing right next to each other while flyering and hey, are you as miserable as I am right now?
  • We can’t both listen to our music in the shower at the same time
  • Both of us are super bored at this mandatory floor meeting
  • We both work really late shifts on Friday Nights and you give me a ride home so I don’t have to walk alone in the dark
  • You’re the only one who actually responded to the desperate message I sent to the whole class about needing the notes
  • All the seats in this huge fucking lecture hall and you have to sit right next to me
  • I’m sorry you caught me moving your clothes out of the dryer but in my defense I’ve been waiting for one to open up for about an hour now
  • We were both running for the bus and it didn’t wait for us, so now we’re at this bus stop together alone
  • Are you the one who keep leaving their dirty dishes in the common area kitchen
  • You posted that you needed to borrow something on the floor’s Facebook group and I just so happen to have what you need
  • I want to buy your football ticket/textbook/etc. so we have to meet up
  • Every single table in the union is full, do you mind if I just sit here for a while?
  • “we heard meningitis is going around and we’re both terrified and buying hand sanitizer in bulk”
  • the only ones in the dorm that go out for thirsty Thursday
  • met doing laundry at 2am college au 
  • accidentally knocked on the wrong dorm room college au
  • picked up the wrong book when we bumped into each other college au
  • Hey exchange student why don’t you can come to mine for thanksgiving?? college au
  • walked in on you in the shower college au
  • drunkenly hooked up but you’re dating my roommate who already hates me college au
  • the always-partying kid falls for the always-studying kid college au
  • heard a scream and thought you were getting killed but it was just a spider college au
  • I really hate you but you have the highest grades in class and I need help college au