“This,” Neil flicked his finger to indicate the two of them, “isn’t worthless.” “There is no ‘this’. This is nothing.” “And I am nothing,” Neil prompted. When Andrew gestured confirmation, Neil said, “And as you’ve always said, you want nothing.”
The first time Andrew saw Neil without his medication blurring his judgment, he thought, This could be a problem, but he did not take it seriously then.
For the longest time, Andrew thought this was something he could back out of. He’d had “relationships” with people since juvie, a necessary step in exploring his sexuality in the wake of everything that had been done to him. Neil was just another notch on the belt, so to speak, another handsome face that would be interesting for a while. And yeah, maybe Andrew looked a little longer at Neil than he did at anyone else, but Roland had lasted, right? And besides, Neil was bound to be different, because Neil was family, and so Andrew had to take the extra steps to protect and provide. Right?
Nothing but My Aching Soul 