Tag: otp: stay. (i’m not going anywhere)

dogelevator:

prettyjosten:

sk8rghost:

‘You were supposed to be a side effect of the drugs’ is probably the most heartbreaking thing I’ve read in a long time tbh.

#OOOOHH SHIT HERE I GO #can you just #imagine being andrew and you spend all of your days high on court mandated meds #and theres this boy in front of you and you start to fucking ///feel/// things for him #on the meds he just feels highs and lows and manic all of the goddamned time #so when these feelings start he thinks its gotta be the meds #because he cant get a grip on the feelings enough to call them a solid real thing #and why would he try to get a grip anyway feelings are what got him into this mess #but then he leaves and hes taken off the meds #and he goes off the a facility thats supposed to help him #but turns into his own personal hell #and while hes being forced to confront nightmare after nightmare he has to hold on to something #he thought neil and his feelings for neil were just a side effect #but they turn out to be the only thing that gets him through the torture they put him through #him admitting that to neil when he gets back his HUGE and youre damn right its heartbreaking #because he wasnt supposed to hold onto this feeling for neil #it wasnt supposed to be there when he was sober #hes going to get hurt or fucked over and this wasnt supposed to happen #neil was supposed to be a side effect #neil was not supposed to be a reason to get up in the morning#and hes so sure he doesnt get to keep this#you were supposed to be a side effect is the most heartbreaking #im sad now and i have to go to the dmv #yes hello sir register my car sorry im CRYING MY EYES OUT (tags by @cabeswaterlovesthem)

@mnyrds

poemsforpersephone:

SEVEN STEPS TO FALLING IN LOVE // l.s.

step 1. you don’t quite remember how it feels to feel but theres an echo in your chest that you think might be curiosity. or maybe its just heartburn.

step 2. theres something different about the way that he moves, like the earth is a chessboard and every step is a potential loss, another way to be taken from the game.

step 3. you promise protection because it is all you can offer. what else could he want? your fingers were only made to hurt and tear and bruise. you hold violence the same way others hold hands.

step 4. the first time you see him without medication twisting your brain you think ‘this could be a problem.’ you try to ignore that it already is, that is has been for a while now.

step 5. he vanishes into the night and with him he takes your ability to breathe, leaving a gap in the universe, a vacuum sucking the air from your lungs and for the first time in forever you feel fear.

step 6. every bruise on his body is another reason to walk away but you passed the point where you could leave long ago. now your hands try to learn how to hold and to stroke, how to soothe burns and bruises. They re-learn how to be hands instead of just another weapon to wield against life.

step 7. you told yourself that love was a lie because there was no other way to survive your demons. you put everything you had left behind a door made of sulphur and steel, but this boy, who saw more than the monster they created, who would fight the sun if you’d let him, opened your heart by knocking instead of forcing the lock.

(and so you gave him a key)

cigarettesmokeandexyracquets:

  • when someone says andrew minyard the foxes don’t think “friend”
  • they think “monster”, “dangerous”, “disaster”
  • they think about the bruises on kevin’s neck.
  • they think about hands on allison, trying to break her.
  • they think about knives hidden under black arm bands and pressed to their guts.
  • they think “danger”
  • blast zone.
  • explosion imminent.
  • renee thinks “bent but not broken”. she thinks of nights in the gym spent sparring, nights on the roof spent in silence.
  • matt thinks about a night in columbia and is both thankful and full of hate. 
  • dan thinks about exy balls being batted at her team’s ankles.
  • allison thinks of hands around her neck, suffocating under more than just the weight of expectation.
  • aaron thinks of his mother’s hands on him and attending her funeral.
  • kevin thinks of a promise of protection. he thinks of bruises on his throat and struggling for breath.
  • nicky thinks of a knife pressed to his sternum. he thinks of a kid who’s been through so much that he doesn’t trust anyone. (he’s trying to protect something with claws and venom, but he wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world, even when he’s being bitten and scratched at. nicky loves his family.)
  • and then there’s neil.

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