i love these boys i would do anything for them but okay so like
- they have their own little ways of showing affection that other people don’t really understand.
- they have some pda, but you wouldn’t know it was happening if you didn’t know them intimately.
- tiny touches; pinkies overlapping, knees knocking together, andrew adjusting neil’s armbands if they ever slip just a little out of place.
- the obvious vocal forms of pda; “I hate you”, “yes or no?”, “you’re an idiot”, and the sarcastic and very rare “that’s cute, josten.”
- (andrew said the cute thing once around nicky on accident, and still hasn’t lived it down over a year later.)
- Andrew will practically stab you in the hand if you try to take food off of his plate, but he lets neil take whatever he wants. even the last bite.
- But Neil knows not to try with dessert. That’s all Andrew’s
- Andrew wears glasses – but only when he’s alone or just with Neil. Neil thinks they’re stupidly hot… So Andrew will wear them when he wants things to happen.
- It’s no secret that Neil’s favorite spot on Andrew is his neck, but as soon as Andrew feels comfortable enough to let him explore more, Neil’s mouth always finds the spot where his hip dips down to his pelvis.
- Andrew’s fascinated by Neil’s thighs and butt, fingers always digging in and tongue trailing the freckles that are scattered all over his skin.
- If they feel like getting close while sleeping, Neil is always the little spoon. It makes him feel safe and protected, and Andrew hasn’t ever gotten comfortable with someone sleeping behind him. They tried it once, and Neil got a black eye. They then decided never again.
- But usually they’ll sleep face to face, knees layered, toes pressing teasing touches against the back of the other’s calves.
- Andrew’s feet are always cold though, and Neil can’t stand it. But Andrew pressing them against Neil is the closest he gets to playful teasing, so Neil lets him do it whenever he wants to.
- Neil presses kisses to Andrew’s neck and temple whenever he can, and thinks it’s a victory whenever Andrew leans even a fraction of an inch closer to his touch.
Tag: otp: stay. (i’m not going anywhere)
(bc that court one healed me) Prompt: Imagine how happy Neil is (and Andrew even tho he wouldn’t show it) when they end up on their first team together after the foxes????
okay i’m just:
- them moving in together. neil joins andrew’s team and moves into andrew’s apartment, the one that he helped to choose on a long weekend during the hectic process of andrew’s trade. the one where the agent said, “oh, you brought a friend to look with you?” and neil giving her a glare vicious enough to strip paint
- neil sells pretty much all the furniture from his old apartment because he doesn’t give a shit about it, but he does bring: a collection of kitchen knives that dan gave him as a ‘welcome-to-graduated-life’ present with the caveat that he didn’t cut himself, a small collection of books given to him by his old neighbour who has a taste for sci-fi and dystopia (he thinks andrew will like them), and a large number of photos from the last several years that he covers half a wall with
- (he looks at them one by one as he takes them down to pack them, smiling a little with the fondness and nostalgia they evoke)
- andrew picking him up from the airport, meeting him not inside the terminal but out in the parking lot, where they can stand very close and talk for a little while in something that almost feels like a welcome home to neil
- andrew doesn’t use all the drawers in his dresser, so neil takes half of them for his stuff. he debates buying a second dresser but writes it off as a waste of time
- he returns: a pair of sweatpants, a pair of sneakers that andrew left last time he was in town, 2 hoodies with minyard on them, and a shirt that he only theoretically returns, seeing as it goes in with the rest of his own clothes. he’s keeping that one
- he gets in return: 4 pairs of socks that andrew has somehow stolen from him, and a stretched-out t-shirt that he takes to wearing because andrew’s expression gets intense when it gapes to show his collar bones
- he likes andrew’s bed, but he brings the sheets he bought himself as spares. the second he’s not looking andrew throws them out because they’re shitty quality and he didn’t live this long to have to sleep with sheets that feel vaguely plastic when you lie on them
- (neil likes andrew’s bed, and he likes andrew in andrew’s bed, and he likes being with andrew in andrew’s bed. except now it’s their bed. a brief break in unpacking (not a long process anyway) is likely made to take advantage of this fact)
- andrew hasn’t done anything about the interior paint, which is neutral creams and beiges except for the one bright red wall in the living room. on the day neil moves in, andrew comes into said living room to find neil staring at the red wall with a blank expression. he waits him out until he blinks, breathing just a little too fast, and says, “blue?”
- andrew nods (he doesn’t care) (he cares about things that put that expression on neil’s face) (they go paint shopping the next weekend and neil ends up with spatters of it in his hair which stubbornly refuse to wash out)
- just neil finding room for himself in andrew’s space, which is easy!! because andrew is right there making room for him!!!!
- neil coming out of the bedroom after putting up all his photos and finding andrew on the couch, on his phone, and just. climbing onto the couch and putting his head in andrew’s lap and saying, “now you’re really going to have to work to get rid of me”
- and andrew saying, “you know i can’t turn down a challenge”
- except that his fingers are already in neil’s hair, and neil looks up at him with an expression that says you’re not going to get rid of me, all quirked mouth and eyes like goddamned stars, and fuck him if he isn’t right
- (renee sends housewarming flowers even though andrew has been living there for a year. neither of them know what to do with flowers but neil is willing to do an internet search to find out)
- (matt emails a bunch of hideous ‘congratulations on your wedding’ e-cards with flowers and ribbons and wedding rings on that neil never ever shows andrew)
- their first practice together, the coach introduces neil to the entire team as though he has no idea that neil and andrew are together. he actually does know, but he’s the only one, and he has a bet with the defence coach on how long it’s going to take his players to catch on
- it’s not like they don’t know who neil josten is. they’ve been speculating about his arrival for weeks, since they heard who their new signing was going to be (andrew hasn’t said a word, only glared at someone who asked what it was like to play with the guy in college. the questions died off after that)
- neil’s exactly what they expected in practice – fast, cool-eyed and sharp-tongued, shorter in real life than he looks on TV, reckless to the point of self-injury. good. scores on andrew and yells “better luck next time, minyard” like an asshole, and somehow doesn’t get a ball to the helmet
- he’s not quite like what they expected out of it – sticks close to andrew, smiles more sweetly than someone who talks like that should be able to, defers to the coaches. ‘nice’ isn’t the right word for him, but it’s kind of hard to hate him. except when he opens his mouth
- their team winning, and neil being the only one to approach andrew (the others have well and truly figured out he doesn’t care for the celebration aspect of winning by now), speaking to him with his head bowed and pulling away with a smile over his face. andrew still looks bored, unless you happen to know him well enough
- (the others don’t figure it out until neil casually refers to the apartment as ‘ours’, and then doesn’t lie when they ask who he lives with, and also clarifies without pause that they aren’t just roommates in a subtle but unmissable way. they’re insufferable for weeks about it, in a good-natured way)
- (andrew still considers killing all of them. neil included)
- a few weeks into cohabitation, round 2: neil looking over his shoulder where he’s standing in front of the open fridge and smiling a little – and then pausing at the expression on andrew’s face. saying, shy, “I like being here”
- andrew saying, “close the fridge. we have an air conditioner”
- andrew meaning, i like it too
everyday ways to die
Andrew doesn’t have nightmares like Neil does. He doesn’t jerk awake panting, doesn’t take minutes to shake his way down from the sick adrenaline that his own subconscious triggers. He doesn’t scream, doesn’t thrash, doesn’t bolt afterwards like the runner he swears he isn’t.
When a therapist pre-Bee asked him about nightmares, Andrew told him that there was nothing he could dream about that was worse than what he’d lived through. He said it to shock, with the sharpest edge of his drugged humour, and refused to say anything else afterwards. There was another shrink across the desk not long afterwards.
He was lying anyway. There’s always something worse. But nightmares have never a problem for Andrew.
Neil has survived the yakuza. He’s survived his own father’s dedicated attempts at killing him, and come out of it scarred and with an even shittier attitude than before. He survived whatever came before that on the run, the marks clear as day on his skin.
He’s a cat with nine lives who must have used up eight of them. It hasn’t made him more careful. He’s a reckless asshole who balances on the edge of buildings, who drives a hair over the speed limit with one hand easy on the wheel, who can’t open his mouth without daring someone to break him. Who doesn’t even seem to realise he does any of that.
A fall, a crash, a single hit could wipe away everything that is Neil Josten. Neil can’t seem to stop flirting with them, less self-destructive than he is purely ignorant of the fact of his own mortality.
Self-destruction isn’t the only kind of destruction, of course. There are plenty of regular, everyday ways to die.
14. “How can I hate someone that I’m in love with?” Andreil. I am ready for angst (such Christmas spirit, wow)
14. “How can I hate someone that I’m in love with?” (Hi there I combined this with another request, so this is the sequel to my 99 prompt with Neil getting hurt !!)
“All they had in the tooth-rotting section at the corner store was coffee crisp and triple fudge so I got both,” Neil announces, shouldering their door open with his hands full of ice-cream tubs and an array of keys.
He’s taken to wearing them on a lanyard like a school teacher, and Andrew knows he does it because he wants them at hand, near his heart. Renee bought him a fox charm and it hangs between the key to the court and the first one Andrew ever gave him — he’s memorized the shape of it without trying to.
Kevin glances at Neil over the screen of his laptop and stands immediately, walking wordlessly to his room. He retreats to his bedroom whenever Andrew and Neil are in a room together, lately. ‘A precautionary measure’ he’d sneered when Nicky had asked.
“Is that okay?” Neil says, suddenly standing above Andrew, head cocked.
“It’s acceptable,” Andrew replies, and opens his hand. Neil presses the triple fudge into his palm, and produces a plastic spoon from the shopping bag to balance on top.
“I figured you wouldn’t want to wait,” he explains, mouth quirked.
Andrew ignores him, hooking his finger in the plastic seal and breaking it apart. Neil collapses into the couch next to him, tossing his feet up over Andrew’s lap and dropping the bag on the carpet. Andrew looks at him. “It’ll melt.”
“Eat fast,” Neil says, and grabs Andrew’s first spoonful for himself.
“I should’ve let the FBI take you.”
“You should’ve,” Neil says seriously, “Now I’m your problem full-time.” He leans in enough that Andrew can see the chocolate in the corner of his mouth, the complicated relationship between his freckles and his burns —
“Andrew!”
He’s yanked back to the present by Nicky’s frantic voice, a high discordant thing like a wrong note in a bad piece of music. The rest of the foxes crest over the slant of the hallway, a wave of good intentions that pushes Andrew back into the wall and takes his breath. He can’t deal with them, he can’t escape to somewhere else when prying voices are trying to keep him here. He can’t be fighting to see Neil with foxes holding his hands behind his back.
“What’s the news,” Allison asks when they’re close enough, looking uncharacteristically haggard with her lipstick wearing away and her shirt untucked.
Andrew shakes his head.
“He’s not…” Dan starts to ask, horrified, and Andrew’s fists clench so hard his knuckles crack.
“No,” Matt says firmly. “The monster would be ripping this place apart.”
Andrew produces a knife instantly, and renee catches his wrist, eyes hard and terrible above her smile. “You’re going to get yourself kicked out of the hospital.”
He hates it, he hates it, because it’s the only thing that could’ve made him stop.
He drops the knife on the floor and Renee quietly stoops to pick it up and pocket it.
“He’s going to be okay, Andrew,” Nicky says earnestly, skirting carefully around Renee to stand in front of him.
“He’s survived worse,” Kevin agrees, an old haunted look on his face.
“Don’t,” Andrew says. It’s all he can manage.
There’s a knife in his chest and Neil has the handle; if he dies now the blade never comes out. If he dies it won’t matter how much armour Andrew puts on, the knife is already in, always.
can we talk about the first time each of the foxes walks in on neil and andrew doing anything remotely coupley though???????????
- kevin barging into their dorm reading exy articles on his phone only to freeze in the middle of the room when he realises he’s caught andrew and neil mid-makeout
- neil’s on the beanbag chair and andrew’s straddling his lap and neil’s hands are clamped around andrew’s waist to keep him from attacking kevin while andrew’s hands are still in neil’s hair
- andrew’s hair is all dishevelled (y’all know neil tugs on it it’s literally canon) and they’re both panting a lil, staring at kevin in disbelief (neil) and with murder in his eyes (andrew)
- kevin doesn’t even say a word, just hightails it the fuck out of the room
- aaron coming into the kitchen in columbia one morning to find andrew looking like he’s sleeping standing up with his face buried in neil’s back and his arms around neil’s waist while neil sleepily makes them coffee
- he offers aaron a “hey” and a “want one?” when he notices him in the doorway
- aaron is so shocked by how soft and approachable andrew looks he forgets whatever sarcastic remark he was gonna throw at neil
ya books: the foxhole court by nora sakavic (neil x andrew)
“Last I checked you hated me,” Neil said against Andrew’s mouth.
“Everything about you,” Andrew said.
Neil pushed himself up a bit. “I’m not as stupid as you think I am.”
“And I’m not as smart as I thought I was,” Andrew said. “I know better than to do this again. Perhaps it’s the self-destructive streak in me?”
NAME IT (AND IT’S YOURS) | What would it take to make you stay?
A playlist for Neil and Andrew, for running away, for coming home.
“The other 10% of the time, Neil is still important enough to keep around, and Andrew will deal with his idiocy as long as he has to.
9% of the time he thinks killing Neil might be the one thing he can’t come back from, the one thing it might hurt to lose.
7~8% of the time it feels like falling, and to a man afraid of heights it is a terrible and frightening sensation.
The more he falls for Neil the more he hates Neil, because Neil is the one thing in the world that could destroy him, and Andrew isn’t ready for that.
He just doesn’t realize yet he’s too late to stop it.”
“I am not a pipe dream,” Neil said. “I’m not going anywhere.”
but guyyyyyyyyys we always talk about neil missing andrew when they’re separated during neil’s last year in palmetto but what about andrew!!!! missing!!! neil!!!!
- andrew, who is on his own for the first time in five years
- no aaron, no nicky, no kevin, no neil
- andrew, who only ever wanted to be left alone, who craved peace and quiet, suddenly feeling like he’s going to suffocate in the silence of his new apartment
- andrew going to bed alone for the first time in about three years (bc it took a lil time for them to get used to sharing a bed but once they did they never slept apart) and he hates it
- at fox tower there were still rare nights sometimes where he couldn’t share a bed with neil but neil was still always there, just a few feet away if andrew needed him
- now neil is hundreds of miles away and andrew feels wrong sleeping alone and it fucks him up so bad????
- because he never really realised all the ways his relationship with neil was changing him
- and now he doesn’t know what to do bc suddenly the things he once hated are now things he craves
Nothing but My Aching Soul 