Tag: otp: stay. (i’m not going anywhere)

palmettomonsters:

Andrew and Neil are up on the roof chain smoking and chain not-smoking, respectively, and not talking.

It’s the middle of the night, like 2am or something equally ridiculous, and they have practice in the morning, but here they are anyway. Whatever.

At this hour it’s gotten kind of cold in the dark, and neither of them brought their jackets, but the chill isn’t enough to scare them off. They’re sitting right up next to each other, shoulders, arms, hips, knees touching, so at least their sides are warm where they’re sharing body heat. 

Andrew has torn through his cigarettes far faster than Neil, the result of actively smoking them instead of just waiting for them to peter out. So Neil still has one between his fingers, watching the end smolder and turn to ash, while Andrew is empty handed, watching, well, Neil.

First just watching out of the corner of his eye, tracing the lines of Neil’s fingers as he turns the cigarette over, spreading the smoke. Then his eyes move to Neil’s face, trailing down his neck when Neil tilts his head back to take a deep breath as the breeze blows the smoke towards him. 

Andrew is no longer subtle, if he ever really was. He’s staring, transfixed. Has been for a while.

Neil says, “So I’m not allowed to look at you like that, but you can look at me?” He’s still looking straight ahead, out at the sky, how would he know. 

“Yes,” Andrew says. And after a pause, “You haven’t told me not to.”

Neil bites back a smile. He’s never going to tell Andrew not to. They both know this. 

So Andrew keeps staring, Neil keeps watching his cigarette burn, the embers threatening to go out.

Then Andrew twists and leans towards him, hand going to Neil’s thigh for balance. When Neil notices him move and reach he starts to turn to meet him for a kiss, but he’s a second too late, and that’s not quite what this is.

Neil ends up with his cheek kind of sort of held against Andrew’s as Andrew presses a kiss to the corner of his jaw. It’s quick, a light brush of his lips and then gone, but he doesn’t entirely pull back. Andrew stays close for a few more seconds, head tilted forward, with his forehead and nose pressed to the side of Neil’s face. Eyes closed, smelling the smoke that’s clinging to Neil’s hair, listening to the catch in his breath.

Then Andrew does pull away, looking anywhere but at Neil, and reaches for the pack of cigarettes that’s feeling dangerously empty. He takes two of the remaining four and lights one for himself and one for Neil, who doesn’t even seem aware that the one he’s still holding is nothing but ash, ignored now that the tables have turned back to their rightful place where Neil is the one staring. 

Andrew chooses not to comment. He takes a long drag off one of the cigarettes and passes the second to Neil, saying, “Last one,” because it’s too late for this.

Because they need to get to sleep or practice will be hell in the morning. Because they need to get off this goddamn roof. No matter how much time Andrew’s spent up here, no matter how much time he’s spent with Neil, he still hasn’t gotten used to this perceived sensation of falling.

allyasavedtheday:

ok so me and @happyminyards were talking about neil constantly tweeting quotes from andrew but never saying who the quotes were from and how the media/exy fandom would be going crazy trying to figure out who neil’s dating and now i have Thoughts and anyway let’s go:

  • because it has already been established neil and andrew have a lot of profound lines and can be romantic fuckers when they want to be
  • and sometimes neil is so Overcome by the things andrew says to him he needs to yell abt it 
  • but he doesn’t really know how to especially bc they’re both quite private people and they haven’t shared their relationship w the media yet
  • so he just tweets a line here and there and it’s almost like an outlet 
  • andrew always rolls his eyes or makes a snide comment when he sees the tweets but he never tells neil to stop so neil doesn’t think he minds
  • besides neil is capital G Gone for andrew so he thinks everything andrew says is hilarious/clever/beautiful and he wants the world to know
  • and it’s kind of a subtle/pointed way of reminding the foxes andrew isn’t a monster in the early days
  • anyway
  • so these quotes range from andrew’s commentary when they’re forced to watch one of nicky’s movie choices:
  • “I would rather carve the skin from my body with a rusty spoon than watch ten more minutes of this bullshit”
  • to quiet, inadvertently sweet in their own andrew way, little comments:
  • “of course I’m up here with you, you’re the only mildly tolerable person within a fifty mile radius”
  • one day it’s just “173%”
  • and this keeps happening pretty frequently, usually every couple of days – sometimes twice a day if andrew’s comments are particularly noteworthy
  • (though lbr as far as neil is concerned everything about andrew is noteworthy always)

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nickyhenmick:

anonymous asked: So in Nora’s extra content she says andreil go on dates to resteraunts/walks on the beach etc, could you maybe right about their first real date?

  • okay so the first “date” of theirs is while they’re still at palmetto
  • the food at the dining hall was going to be shit that night and everyone was getting on neil’s nerves and he was gonna lose it if they stayed there so andrew just looked at him and was like “we’re leaving”
  • neil immediately agrees and texts kevin that they won’t be at night practice
    • cue “what the fuck neil” text that prompts neil to turn his phone off
  • they get into the maserati and andrew just drives for a couple hours, headed southeast
  • the drive alone is enough to relax neil, but then they get into charleston and neil starts to get curious (and a lil excited) about what andrew is planning
  • they left as soon as they were done with class in the afternoon and there wasn’t much traffic, but the drive was almost three and a half hours, so neil is hungry enough to eat dinner
  • andrew just glances over at him and maneuvers through the city, eventually turning right onto a street with a bunch of restaurants and saying “pick one”
  • neil, after all his years on the run, is really really good at knowing instinctively which restaurants are going to be good but not too expensive, so he scans the road before naming one
  • the place isn’t anything special, it doesn’t stand out among any other american diners, but neil was right and the food is really good
  • they chat about a little bit of everything: of all the cities neil had been with his mother, charleston was never one of them, so he rambles off some observations about the buildings and the grid of the city that he didn’t realize he had noticed on the drive in
  • andrew is amused enough to pay attention, and in exchange he recounts a story from high school where nicky dragged him and aaron to charleston for the weekend to try to bond but it didn’t exactly go well 
  • they finish eating but neither of them want to leave yet so they end up wandering the streets
  • they end up walking on a sidewalk parallel to the beach, and the smell of the salt water surprisingly doesn’t remind neil of his mother, at least, not in a bad way
  • “have you ever been to the beach? for fun?” neil asks
  • andrew considers the question as he smokes. “a couple times. cass took me for a day trip once.”
  • that was more than neil was expecting to get, and he smiles as he looks out over the waves
  • “i think the last time i went for fun was when i was a kid. maybe 4 or 5 years old? my mom somehow managed to convince my dad that she could take me. i think he sent some security with us, but still.”
  • “sounds better than the last time you two were at the beach together,” andrew says, partially bc he’s a dick but also because he can tell neil was already thinking about it
  • neil nods but doesn’t say anything, but the next time there’s a walkway leading down to the sand he turns to take it, stepping out of his shoes to carry them in his hands
  • behind him he can hear andrew sigh loudly in protest but he follows him down the wooden planks, stopping to remove his shoes as well
  • they walk up and down the beach, kicking at the sand and occasionally stepping into the waves washing against the shore (and taking breaks to make out since somehow they’re the only people on the beach)
  • it’s all very cute and gay
  • eventually the sun has set and both of them are tired enough to know they should leave now if they want to make it back to campus
  • andrew gets them back to the car much faster than neil could, and neil low key falls asleep in the passenger seat on the drive home
  • he wakes up when andrew pulls into the parking lot of fox tower, and yawns as he walks inside with andrew
  • neil asks for permission when they walk through the door to the building, and andrew raises his eyebrows before nodding and neil just takes his hand and holds it as the elevator door opens to take them to the third floor
  • andrew rolls his eyes but doesn’t let neil’s hand go
  • they share a bed that night bc neil can’t be bothered to climb into his loft
  • none of the foxes know where they went, and none of them ever find out, and neil and andrew like it that way. they like that this is their own thing and start doing it more and more frequently, just going to different cities and exploring them for the first time, together

prettyminyard:

pipe dream
noun

an unattainable or fanciful hope or scheme.

“I hate you,” Andrew said casually. He took a last long drag from his cigarette and flicked it off the roof. “You were supposed to be a side effect of the drugs.”
“I’m not a hallucination,” Neil said, nonplussed.
“You are a pipe dream,” Andrew said.”

coldsaturn:

The Foxhole Court – Andrew & Neil – Beautiful Crime

Song: Beautiful Crime by Tamer

thanks to @korakos​ for writing this story  

thanks to @everythingthatmatters for creeping everyone out with the countdown. see you in a few :^ 
thanks to @aionwatha for existing, and also for the feedback on the video xD 

“Today’s sobering “0” had arrived during lunch. Neil didn’t know what to make of it or what to expect next. It was as anticlimactic as it was nerve-wracking.“

Keep reading

veilless:

🚬🔑small observations andreil make on each other & keep to themselves:

  • andrew has a ticklish spot behind his ear that makes him shiver and grab at neil’s shoulders/hair every time neil so much as breathes around it. neil’s lips are helplessly attracted to that spot, he lives for kissing and biting down on it because he loves how breathless and weak andrew’s already half-assed threats get. also, that one time he got andrew speechless and panting when he dared to nuzzle into it? so worth it.
  • neil – unconsciously or otherwise – tends to draw fox paws onto random surfaces when he’s in thought. andrew used to notice them doodled onto notebook pages but thought they were just bored doodles, exclusive to study time only. but after baltimore, neil takes a liking to tracing fox paws into andrew’s skin when they are close. nowadays andrew likes to think that it might have never been a habit of boredom but neil feeling safe and calm. (sometimes andrew traces them back into neil’s skin too.)
  • andrew can name constellations on a night sky. neil discovered this while they were up on the roof, talking late into the night. he can’t stop being enthralled by it ever since, by how andrew’s mind works like a clockwork, wondering about when and why he learned them to start with. whenever neil points at the sky and looks at andrew with prompting, curious eyes, andrew answers him like someone who can’t fathom just what’s so interesting about a bunch of stars. he hasn’t yet figured it out that the stars aren’t at all what neil is fascinated by or has his eyes on. not yet.
  • neil is fond of long baths. it’s something he’s eased into gradually and only after his dad’s death, after he got used to the fact that now he has all the time in the world to just enjoy a lot of things he couldn’t before. things he had to give up on, or couldn’t do because there was simply no time. like a long, hot bath without any kind of hurry, till the water loses warmth and his fingers get pruny and andrew stands in the doorway with a towel acting like he wouldn’t care if neil gets a cold even though he’s frowning. 
  • andrew has lazy and careless

    handwriting; his school notes the kind of mess only he himself sees through, his signature (and later on, his autograph) full of simple flat lines and the rare curve. usually he writes like it’s too much work to hold a pen but whenever it’s something for neil (a message/a note on the fridge/that one time neil got a serious fever and andrew went to his class to take notes for him) it gets noticeably more readable. neil might be imagining things but he likes to think he’s not.

  • neil likes to kiss andrew after andrew ate something sweet. andrew eats a lot of sweet things so it took him a while till he noticed the pattern, but after he did it wasn’t that hard to see that neil is always going out of his way to kiss him while the sugar still clings to his lips. andrew liked sweets before, now he has a reason to never lose his sweet-tooth. ever.
  • andrew’s the only person who knows the exact history for every single scar neil has. on the other hand, neil’s the only person who knows the exact number of scars on andrew’s arms.

The Foxhole Court Thoughts

kells-coat:

My favorite thing about the All For the Game series is how like… no one understands Andrew. They go on and on about how Andrew just does things that doesn’t make sense and he does unforgivable, senseless, violent things

and then Neil comes along. Neil whose mother beat him to keep him alive, who in her own violent way loved him even if it made him hate her and traumatized him, who couldn’t afford to be gentle even if she had the capacity for it. 

He knows violence as an act of affection and protection when he sees it.

He recognizes that when Andrew kills Tilda, it wasn’t for himself because Andrew accepts violence towards himself as a normal part of his life and he could care less. It was to protect Aaron, his brother. He realizes that when Andrew tells Aaron to “Fuck off” when they first find each other, it wasn’t for any other reason but that Andrew was willing to suffer alone to keep Aaron safe from Drake’s abuse. Andrew goes back with Aaron to Tilda’s home where he knows that he isn’t wanted, that he’s hated even, to protect him from her heavy hand. Aaron, who was only ever hit out of resentment rather than survival, can’t understand that level of caring. 

He can see that when Andrew beats strangers for assaulting his cousin, it wasn’t to protect his own sexual identity, it was to protect his cousin, his family, even if he doesn’t believe in blood relatives. Nicky, who was never hit by his parents (that we know of, at least), whose familial abuse was verbal and psychological and emotional rather than physical, knows that Andrew was protecting him but didn’t see it as anything more than Andrew being territorial, of protecting his things rather than protecting someone he cares about because, let’s be real, Andrew would not tolerate Nicky or protect him if he didn’t care about him; if they had had a deal like Aaron or Kevin or Neil, I’m sure we would have known about it. He may be a complete asshole to Nicky and treated him like he was an outsider, but I don’t remember reading any part of their relationship as some kind of deal. 

If Nicky was anyone else, Andrew would hate him but Nicky moved all the way back from Germany where he was loved and happy and alive to help Andrew and Andrew, although he doesn’t show it, has accepted Nicky as family and cares for him. Andrew cares about Nicky because Nicky cared about him first, after Cass, Nicky was the first one to treat Andrew like he was family and care about him regardless of how broken he was. Yes, he pulls a knife on Nicky when he’s hitting on Neil and although that was probably because of Aaron’s comment about rape or that he himself found Neil attractive, I think part of it was Andrew’s distrust of Neil in the beginning, that he didn’t know if Neil was dangerous. He didn’t want Nicky to get too comfortable around someone he didn’t trust. 

but Neil

Neil sees Andrew’s fathomless rage and loss of control after Baltimore and he sees his threats, and very clear warnings of “Get away from us” as he is supposed to: Andrew, despite what he says, cares about a very few select people and he will do anything and everything to protect them no matter what it costs him, and no matter how much it could hurt him because his own pain is irrelevant. Neil understands why Andrew is violent, he understands that it isn’t senseless, that it isn’t to hurt Neil or Nicky or Aaron or Kevin, it’s to protect. Andrew’s violence makes perfect sense to him and it is the only way he can show how he feels because he’s been so broken so many times that all that is left is a the violence he needs to protect. It isn’t until Neil that Andrew has another way to show that he cares, a new way only for him: kisses and touches and keys, and of course trust. 

Neil understands Andrew which is why he can get Andrew to back down and give ground when he needs to and it’s also why Andrew let’s him, it’s why Andrew let’s him in and why it’s okay to be quasi-intimate with Neil. It’s why they work. For the first time violent affection doesn’t leave scars on Neil’s skin and for the first time someone understands Andrew enough that he doesn’t have to explain himself.