Tag: oh man this gave me heart palpitations

i.
he’s problematic.
you know it, you know it, day one, you know.
he’s trouble in every sense of the word.
he’ll burn your whole world with no remorse
and you probably won’t even mind it, because hey,
it’d be interesting.
(he’d be interesting.)
you’ll watch your world turn to ash, and then
you’ll watch his eyes glow in the dancing flames.

oh, the things he could do to you.
oh, the trouble he could cause you.

ii.
of course, he’s a liar.
they’re all liars.  no one’s honest, of course, of course.
definitely not him, definitely not you.
but he’s more than that, isn’t he?
because trouble doesn’t just lie, trouble
goes to lengths too far to mask the truth. trouble
is burned trails and locked safes and carefully dyed hair.  trouble
is a past desperately buried, gasping, scared.

trouble is a rabbit that knows all too well what it’s like for a fox to pounce on it.
(a fox,
like you.)

iii.
he’s entertaining, right?
there’s always another surprise, always another secret.
there are skeletons under his bed and monsters in his closet,
smoke rising in his wake.
he’s a rabbit, he’s scared, he ought to be.
a man who can’t keep his mouth shut,
a man who doesn’t know when to quit,
a man who has stopped counting risks—

a man like that has a target on his back,
and the bullet’s already been fired.

iv.
he’s dangerous.
he’s too smart, too quick, too willing to walk through fire to save you.
(to save anyone, come on, where’d your perspective go)
when did he become the fox?

he’s a liar but so are you, you know you are
(lying by omission is still lying, where’d your goddamn perspective go)
he’s working his way around all your secrets,
finding all the things you won’t say,
all the things you won’t admit,
not even to yourself.
it’s just twisted enough to feel right.

v.
how long until you’ll admit it to yourself?
you’re not scared of heights, you’re scared of
falling, you’re scared of him.
you’re scared of what this is, of what this means.
you’re scared of the fact that you stick up for him, too, now,
scared of the fact that you’re seeing this sober,
feeling this sober.
scared that maybe this wasn’t a hallucination after all.

you’ve never liked problems.  problems are things to be dealt with,
in any way you see fit.
(you should stop that.  he’s seen enough blood spilled in his life,
are you really going to add to that?)
he is a problem and it scares you.
he is a problem and a liar, but
you’re amused.  you are, you know you are,
you’re amused you’re entertained you’re scared.

you have a list of things that he is.
that is not nothing.

admit it.