Tag: neil josten

vvhymack:

do u ever cry because neil has been through so much abuse from both his parents and yet he’s still kind.
i know people will lose their goddamn minds if you claim that neil is soft but like y’all gotta understand that softness =/= weak or nice. softness is the way neil tries to mend aaron and andrews relationship. softness comes from neil telling andrew that he was amazing before walking to his death. neils softness is the way he lets allison put make up on him, it’s knowing he’s going to die so he dives headfirst into spending time with matt and dan. it’s how he’s willing to spend the money he’s conditioned to save on a vacation for the foxes. he’s soft in the way he’s surprised when nicky hands him andrew’s gift, in the way he asks nicky if they’re friends, he ditched exy and kevin to get ice cream with nicky for them all, this all comes from a place of softness and tenderness
and i know i know neil is still rough edges and anger and pettiness and harsh words spit as bodies collide but this isn’t exclusive from being the same boy who tried to calm down andrew on a plane bc he’s afraid of heights. don’t erase his tenderness because you can’t fathom that it can exist alongside his fire and passion. after everything he’s been through, after his father’s abuse and his mother trying to beat his essence out of him, he still has kindness and softness left. let him have it.

hatehateslove:

bear with me…

  • neils got blisters so many blisters along the heels and balls of his feet and he usually has one or two toes bandaged bc they were bleeding from how much he runs and practices 
  • hes got dry ankles and banged up and bruised and cut knees almost all season 
  • he has that light ginger almost blond body hair covering his arms and legs and body thats so light that in the right light it looks like hes completely shaven 
  • his calves and thighs are probably the thinnest but most defined of the whole team even allison cant compete with the definition of neils upper thighs bc of how much and how fast this kid can run 
  • hes got freckles along his legs and up his back they arent in any sort of pattern theres probably not even that many theyre just spread randomly on him 
  • hes got this birthmark that looks like a bruise on his right outer thigh that he pokes and prods waiting for it to heal but never realizes that its permanent he just thinks he keeps bruising that particular place over and over again 
  • neils got a rather defined stomach as well perhaps not as much as say kevin or matt or even dan but he has a v clear 4 pack that could be a 6 pack if kevin had his way with neils diet 
  • hes got scars 
  • old and new that have just become a part of him as much as every freckle 
  • theres a gunshot wound from when he was 14 on his lower left flank other scars from where gunshots scraped past him 
  • other times when shrapnel pierced his skin
  • and multiple knife wounds, stabbings and deep cuts, each once had a story that not even andrew knew yet 
  • some had stories that neil would rather not remember himself 
  • he doesnt have a v broad chest but its still p defined as well 
  • hairless which hes not sure how he feels about esp when andrews not 
  • his arms are nice but more lean and less defined and muscular for the sake of muscles 
  • he has long arms that were a problem when he was younger and they got in the way while he was growing they still look a little out of place considering hes not v tall still but he has arms that rival nickys in length
  • he has a scar right by his collar bone where hed been stabbed and another along his neck that you couldnt see unless neil was looking directly up in good lighting 
  • from when he had had a man start to slice his throat when his mother hadnt dropped her gun fast enough even when her sons life had been on the line and deeper still even after she had dropped it 
  • he has small ears 
  • rather ears that dont stand out too much esp when he lets his curls grow out, he eventually gets quite a few piercings along his left ear leaving the other alone 
  • he has a very chiseled face his jawline very defined his cheekbones hidden behind a couple of bad scars 
  • his eyelashes and eyebrows a shade or two darker than the hair on his head and his eyes the color of an iceberg framed by long lashes and and crows feet that he gets from his mom 
  • Andrew has small feet…not necessarily small, but smaller than Neil’s 
  • He’s got light brown/dirty blond body hair and this boy is hai ry 
  • hairy lil baby 
  • i digress 
  • hes got calves that should scare you, not necessarily v huge and strong like Neil’s, but so ridiculously defined even the football players are jealous 
  • his knees are soft but still scratched up and scarred just like the rest of the foxes 
  • his thighs are a little chubby bc that sugars gotta go somewhere
  • that somewhere being his chubby thighs and chubby butt and slightly squishy abs that shouldnt be abs but ARE bc my son exercises 
  • this boiiii
  • i love him so much idk what to do with myself 
  •  anyway 
  • hes hairy like i mentioned so i mean im not, no, no im totally saying happy trail
  • also can we talk about these idiots and the v defined V’s they both sport 
  • like 
  • stop it you two 
  • but also never stop i support and love – i digress 
  • where tf was i 
  • oh
  • the..scars 
  • Andrew’s got scars along the tops and sides of his thighs, those were all him 
  • he’s got barbed wire scars from a stint gone right and only those scars to prove it, all along his right hip and onto his stomach and the top side of his right thigh 
  • he’s got freckles, a lot of them, along the small of his back, along the back of his thighs, and down his spine, some bunched up at the back of his neck
  • hes got small hands, but pianist fingers, long and thin and knobby 
  • he’s got scars on scars on scars on his knuckles from various fights with people and the couple times he smashed a mirror with his fists
  • he wears his armbands at all times, im just…wait. a hijab. I wear a hijab at all times except when I’m home and/or around people I can take it off with, and that has nothing to do with this, but really…parallels well with the armbands 
  • wow i derailed im sorry 
  • anyway his armbands hide the worst scars
  • the ones around both his wrists, the ones that have since scabbed over but still sometimes itch that he tries his best to ignore 
  • hes got sharp, banged up elbows and 
  • broad shoulders and chest to match 
  • he probably does one handed push ups to one up Kevin bc he knows how much it pisses him off
  • he’s got a long neck, and a sharp collarbone that Neil adores
  • a necklace of hickies as proof 
  • his hair usually stay up and out of his face most of the time, but sometimes if he brushes it down it covers his eyes and he does that head jerk thing short haired people do to get it out of the way and he has soft hair and Neil loves pulling on it and running his fingers through it 
  • anyway this got way too longjust take it

inejofthewraith:

wow this is quite nearly late but happy valentines day @williamherxndale​ as part of the @upperclassmennet v-day exchange!!! here are some nathaniel hc’s just for you, my sweet connie ❤

  • The only thing Nathaniel fears is his father.
  • His childhood is unusual, a natural byproduct from life on the run: chased by feds and hounded by Butchers, bleeding from his father’s knives and bruising from his mother’s fists. He does not know what it means to settle down and make friends. He does not want to know, because knowing means staying, and staying means dying.
  • His mother told him to be anyone but himself. They craft their personas, developing the masks they wear— Alex, Stefan, Chris— but never the people underneath.
  • Yet there still is a person underneath.
  • He has his father’s eyes and smile and temper. He has his mother’s paranoia survival instincts and wit and height.
  • Mary Hartford dies on a California beach after she extracts promises from her son. Nathaniel grieves, but he doesn’t linger, destroying the body, the car, and the phones before fleeing east. He has his mother’s survival instincts, after all.
  • Although his eye often wandered towards the Exy court, he held back before now; playing means staying, and staying means dying. Nathaniel knows better until grief threatens to drown him in Arizona. Still, he keeps her promises; he keeps his father’s tongue in check so that he doesn’t get caught, and he makes no friends, choosing instead to make plans on where to go next.
  • He shoves Nathaniel deep down. Neil takes his place, fitting quite comfortably, and Nathaniel doesn’t emerge again. Not when Andrew Minyard comes at him with a racquet, not when
  • That is, until that fateful interview with Kathy Ferdinand.
  • The only thing Nathaniel fears is his father. This man, with a one tattooed on his cheek and his words like knives to Kevin’s guts, is not his father, nor is he anyone who commands his father’s attention.
  • So Nathaniel doesn’t fear him.
  • So Nathaniel tears Riko apart on live television.
  • Later, Neil will come back with all of his fears, and will almost regret this. Later, he’ll want to run, because if his personas share anything, it’s that their quick with their tongues and quick to flee.
  • Neil is an “easily spooked runaway,” but Nathaniel is all temper and instinct. He only resurfaces when Riko needs to be taken down a notch, when grief for his mother consumes everything, or when playing Exy.
  • Neil and Nathaniel can both agree; they live for Exy.
  • For six months, Nathaniel watches quietly as Neil makes friends and becomes a real person. They’re quite similar, really, except Neil is afraid of more than just his father. He’s softer, breakable. Human.
  • Maybe that’s why, when Lola handcuffs him in a car and drives a cigarette lighter into his face, Nathaniel takes control. Neil does not deserve his final moments to be blood and pain and regret. He has no business in Baltimore; his place is with the Foxes. Nathaniel pushes Neil down so that he lives on with his friends, untainted.
  • It’s too late for Nathaniel. He was tainted at birth. He was tainted when the Butcher first shoved a knife into his hands.
  • The only thing Nathaniel fears is his father, but he’s willing to face his fears to protect the part of him that learned to love.
  • On a happier note! He gets rescued, and Nathaniel can sit back.
  • Of course, this drama loving hoe does not stop running his mouth.
  • When he mouths off reporters? Nathaniel. When he taunts Riko after winning the championship (almost getting himself killed jesus christ)? Nathaniel. When he punches Jack in the face and says that he didn’t survive Baltimore just to put up with a whiny child’s petty jealousy? All Nathaniel.
  • Then there are the days when he awakens from dreams of knives and auburn hair and blue eyes. That’s Nathaniel too. Andrew knows the difference by now. He puts a hand on the back of Nathaniel’s neck and keeps him grounded until his eyes (his eyes, his father’s eyes) focus again.
  • Nathaniel might not say it, but he appreciates it more than anything. Before the Foxes, he would never have been able to imagine having a boyfriend, someone he could trust with his entire soul. But he has Andrew.
  • And they love Andrew, Neil and Nathaniel both.