Things Neil Josten likes about Andrew Minyard that he would die get stabbed before admitting:
When Andrew leans in first to kiss him. Oh boy oh boy it’s dangerous how much Neil likes that. How much Neil treasures the trust which Andrew Minyard has placed in him to do something like that.
Andrew’s obsession with everything sweet. It’s the one part of him that is so completely unexpected, so not Andrew, the boy who smokes cigarettes like drinking water, the boy who buys Maseratis when he’s fucking nineteen. He would kill for chocolate ice cream.
The hand on his neck whenever he’s dying inside.
The back which he can lean against when everything else is collapsing.
The one constant thing in his runaway life. No matter where he goes, how far he goes he knows Andrew would be there for him. Even if it was just to make sure he doesn’t get himself killed.
Andrew’s neck. Neil finds it the most vulnerable part of Andrew’s body and being allowed to kiss it?? That’s another level of dbjdfhydu he can’t handle.
The percentage. Everytime he adds another number, everytime it increases Neil feels something he had never dared to hope for.
The honesty. He could be unapologetically honest to Andrew without giving a second thought as to what he would think. And for a man who’s lived a lie for most of his life? This is excelsior.
The fact that Andrew is three whole inches shorter than Neil.
His broad shoulders.
“I hate you but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t blow you.” Don’t fucking tell me Neil doesn’t think bout that every damn day.
Everytime Andrew blows cigarette smoke in his face he feels like smiling. How the smell of smoke and ash which used to remind him of his mother now reminds him of the man he shares a house with.
How much Andrew threatens him. It’s a daily thing. Neil could say, “I’m going running.” And Andrew would say, “If you get hit by a car, it’s my fault.”
The Foxes come up with a new ‘assume things about Neil’ game where they take turns and try to earn a point by guessing something true about Neil that they don’t already know.
The game comes up at random times
And the team does him the courtesy of keeping their assumptions non-sexual because they like having him actually answer
Neil plays along every time because he wants the Foxes to know him and he doesn’t like to hide things from them anymore
Plus, he loves finding out how well Andrew knows him
Andrew is the best at the game
Kevin’s also pretty good at it
He’s not quite at Andrew’s skill level, but he is much better than everyone other than Andrew
Nicky gets very disappointed when he is wrong
He gets personally offended over it and insists he and Neil need to spend more quality time together
Matt is thrilled any time that he guesses something right
Dan mostly guesses tame things, but every once in a while she’ll say something a little riskier
Aaron’s guesses tend to be baiting to see how fucked up Neil’s life really was with things like “Neil Josten has been shot.”
And Neil ignores the looks he gets as he says “True.”
On Andrew’s turn, he says “Neil Josten has never studied for a single test in his life.”
Neil says “True.”
On Renee’s turn, she says “Neil’s favourite colour is orange.”
“True.”
Neil can practically hear Andrew thinking how pathetic it is to base his favourite colour off of their team colour
When it’s her turn, Allison stares Neil down and says “Neil Josten has never kissed a girl.”
Jaws drop as Neil calmly says “Wrong.”
Nicky’s turn is next and he’s sure he’s getting an easy point as he says “Neil Josten has only ever kissed one girl.”
“Wrong.”
Neil is aware of Andrew’s eyes on him and the fact that he’s going to have to explain some of the blanks between what he’s said and what that sounds like later
Neil has probably picked up like a ton of unconventional but effective medical techniques and information and whatnot, and like ,, he and Aaron don’t get along great but Neil really loves correcting Aaron and he finds a way to channel that into helping the boy with his doctor homework. Like there’s gotta be at least 9 separate occasions where Aaron is like “No, there’s no way someone could take any critical damage to this area and survive,” and Neil just rolls his eyes and goes “ok but i actually got shot there, so who do you think knows more, me or the textbook? Lol”
And Aaron tries so hard to tune Neil out most of the time, but the kid’s sarcastic remarks bleed into his work, and he ends up getting extra credit on all his assignments for having the most fucked up but weirdly practical answers on tests and whatnot thanks to Neil.
ahh ty anon for ur kind words!! i hope this satisfies ur expectations AHAH i tried my best
Andrew wants to kiss Neil. Correction: Andrew wants to kiss Neil’s scarred cheeks. It starts with Andrew coming to a realization. While they were on the roof watching the last light of the day draining away, Andrew realized he felt calm. It was different from his usual kind of calm detachment, because he wasn’t distancing himself from anything. There was the purple hues in the gamut of the sky, the smudges of fading orange from the sun, the weight of Neil’s head on his shoulder, the warmth of Neil’s body leaning against his, and he felt – soft. At ease. It made him angry. He had shoved Neil away and left the roof. Neil kept his distance, allowing Andrew space without asking for any explanation. It made Andrew angrier. Not unkindly, Bee told him, it’s because you’re unused to this. Andrew didn’t tell her, there is no this. He told her, I want to try to be gentle. But I don’t think I am capable of it. She told him, you are. She told him again, Andrew, you are. Andrew has kissed other parts of Neil that aren’t his lips. His hipbone, his thighs, his navel. Neil has kissed other parts of Andrew too. His forearms, his chest, and of course, his neck. But Andrew has never kissed any other parts of Neil’s face, and he realizes that he wants to. He wants to press his lips to the pleats of knife scars on his right cheek, to the whorl of burn marks on his left cheek, to the tip of his freckled nose. He’s dug his teeth into the defined corner of Neil’s jaw, but he wants to kiss it too. In the dorm room, when they are by themselves, Andrew tells Neil, I want to try something. Putting his pencil down and closing his textbook, Neil tells Andrew, okay. In the bedroom, Andrew says, I want to try something, but I need you to close your eyes. Neil looks at him, then says, okay. Andrew looks at him, then closes the space between them. The light from the bedside table skims off Neil’s eyelashes and splatters over his skin in gold. Andrew asks, yes or no? With his eyes closed, Neil says, yes. Andrew tucks Neil’s hair behind an ear, leans forward with his chin tilted, and kisses Neil on his cheek. He feels the bob of muscle under his lips, but Neil keeps his eyes closed. Andrew strokes his thumb over the spot he just kissed, and thinks, yes. He shifts a little and kisses the knot of pink skin on Neil’s other cheek. He does it once, twice, thrice. He does it again and again, each kiss softer than the last. He falls back flat on his feet. He didn’t realize that he was standing on his tiptoes. He tells Neil, you can open your eyes. Neil opens them, blinking slowly, eyelashes fluttering. He asks, may I? Andrew nods. Neil raises his hands and cups Andrew’s face. The tips of his fingers glide into Andrew’s hair. The blueness of his eyes is annihilating. He asks, may I? Andrew says, yes. Neil leans forward, and kisses Andrew on his forehead. Eyes falling shut, Andrew exhales softly.
Nothing but My Aching Soul 