Interviewer: how does it feel to have a boyfriend that’s so out of your league?
Yuuri: uhm –
Viktor: pretty incredible, still no idea how I did it
Tag: mosquitoes on ice
Yuuri’s Mom: And this is our darling son, Victor!
Yuuri: Victor are you crying?
Victor: only a lot
Victor: Yuuri and I are the main characters, so that means we’re the love interests!
Yurio: Oh yeah? What does that make us?
Victor: You boys are the homosexual supporting cast.
the biggest plot twist of the decade
Yuuri: So about the Eros choreography– I had a certain interpretation for it in mind.
Victor: Oh? Go on.
Yuuri: It seems to me like it’s about a playboy who seduces women left and right
Victor: …kind of
Yuuri: Tempting them with his charms,
Victor: uh-huh
Yuuri: And then he meets the most beautiful woman of them all
Victor: oh my god
Yuuri: After dancing around each other for a time, finally the seduction is complete
Victor: ohhh my god
Yuuri: But he casts the beautiful woman aside–
Victor: AND THEN the playboy LEAVES like NOTHING HAPPENED and DIDN’T make the woman feel lighter and happier than she’s felt in YEARS and he gets on a PLANE and they don’t see each other for FOUR MONTHS
Yuuri:
Victor:
Yuuri:
Victor:
Yuuri: are. are you crying
Victor: NO
Yurio: Katsuki’s my arch nemesis and my greatest rival. I hate his guts.
Otabek: He’s the second emergency contact in your phone. You had dinner with him and Victor last night. They keep bringing “We ❤ Yuratchka” signs to all of your competitions.
Victor: *starts crying*
Yuuri: Oh no, he’s hot when he’s sad…
yurio: ugh katsuki yuri should just retire already smfh
someone: yeah ikr he needs to leave
yurio: you’ve just been unfriended, unfollowed, blocked, my mom’s calling your mom and you’re uninvited from my teen queen sweet sixteen summer beach bash birthday party
Yuuri: I’m retiring
Yurio: false
i, for one, cannot wait for this,
Viktor: im coming back to skating!
Yurio: IS YUURI DEAD
Viktor: you’ve never said his name be-
Yurio: IS DAD DEAD PAPA
Viktor: Yurio-
Yurio: IS HE OKAY DEAD GOD WHERE IS HE
Viktor: no, he’s thinking about retiring
Yurio: ….HE’S GOING TO BE DEAD, I’LL KILL HIM MYSELF
Nothing but My Aching Soul 