Asking “why are you depressed, life is so beautiful!” Is like asking “why do you have asthma, there’s so much air!”
Tag: mental health
Anhedonia – not finding pleasure in things you normally take pleasure in – is a symptom of depression.
When depressed, you will also be reluctant to start things, and won’t find things appealing.
This sets up a nasty vicious cycle where ‘life feels bleak’ -> ‘nothing sounds fun’ -> do nothing -> don’t have fun -> ‘Hey I’m not having fun, life really is pretty bleak right now’ -> More depressed.
The way to break that cycle is to do things that you enjoy. Doing things solely for the sake of having fun is an important part of handling depression. Not only does it keep you from getting more depressed, but it can make you go ‘Hey I’m having a really nice day’ and give you bouncy energy to do productive things with.
I get so focused on all the things that need doing that I forget that when depressed, doing things solely because they’re fun is the practical thing to do if I want to get thing done.
There is a difference between procrastination and having trouble activating. If there’s a thing you need to do and you know you aren’t going to be able to do it now, do something fun, and afterwards you will have better odds of actually doing the thing.
If you find yourself in the situation in the picture, pick something that you are intellectually aware you would find fun if you were feeling better and start doing it.’ This means that you are focusing on something other than *sigh* and playing a game can make you feel productive, put ‘life is good!’ and ‘I can succeed at things!’ chemicals into a brain that is sorely in need of them.
A couple weeks ago when I couldn’t even find any interest in reading fanfic, I eventually managed to start playing a random RPG and felt much better a few hours later.
i certainly wasn’t expecting anything close to actual, halfway decent advice that might help some folks out when i threw this little Funne Picture out into the wild, but that’s nice. thank you. i’m not sure if i’ll ever break this little cycle for more than a few hours, but .. yeah man. it’s just a little nice to see folks trying to help other folks out on posts of mine instead of the usual terrible nonsense
Exactly what I needed right now.
Easy to parse version:
Anhedonia is a symptom of depression, it’s not finding enjoyment in things that once made you happy.
If you find yourself in this situation, pick something that you KNOW you would find fun or enjoyable.
When you’re depressed, the best thing to do is do things BECAUSE they’re fun, it’ll help motivate you more.
Your mental illness is lying to you.
You are not stupid.
You are not ugly.
You are not worthless.
You are not weak.
You are not a burden.
Your mental illness is lying to you.
Fuck.
Also:
No you’re not bothering me. (Yes I’m serious.)
You’re not dumb.
You have great ideas.
Your smile isn’t ugly.
Neither is your laugh.
Yes people love you. No they’re not lying. Yes really.
YOU ARE NOT BOTHERING ME.
You don’t need to apologize, I actually AM very interested in our conversation.
YOU DON”T NEED TO APOLOGIZE FOR EXISTING.
in addition: yes i love you and your existence
Uhm… I really fucking needed to see this.
Yes, I am happy to hear from you.
You look nice today.
No, you aren’t being annoying.
Tell me more about the things you like, I’m interested in what you have to say.
If you changed your mind and can’t handle going out, we can hang out at home instead, I really don’t mind and I’m not mad at you.
Yes, I am really honestly happy that you’re here!
I think you’re pretty great actually.
No, you aren’t bothering me
Yes, I want to hear what you have to say
Yes, it is important to me (No, I am not lying)
I care about you and am so glad you’re here
Yes, I care about you.
Yes, many people care about you.
You aren’t bothering me.
I am interested! Please tell me more!
Yes, I love you. You’re like family.
No- you aren’t dumb, or useless, or a waste, or- no. You’re not. I promise you.
Your illness is lying to you- and if it’s people telling you these things- THEY ARE LYING TO YOU.
You are worth it. ❤
You’re not alone.
No, you aren’t going to die in a ditch because that happened.
It’s not that bad.
No, no one noticed that.
You don’t have to be grateful that it isn’t worse.
read that.
read it again, and again, and again.
somebody, somewhere, always has it worse than you. there is one person on this planet that has it the worst of all, and that person is NOT the only person allowed to be unhappy with their lot.
if things are bad for you, they are bad for you. period.
This goes for trauma as well. A lot of times survivors get trapped in a cycle of minimizing/diminishing their trauma because “other people have it worse” – but there is no hierarchy of trauma. There is no ranking system for which traumas are “better” or “worse.” Your trauma is valid. Period.
IMPORTANT TRUTHS.
As a therapist, lemme just say: almost every trauma survivor I’ve ever had has at some point said “But I didn’t have it as bad as some people” and then talked about how other types of trauma are worse. Even my most-traumatized, most-abused, most psychologically-injured clients say this.
The ones who were cheated on, abandoned, and neglected say this. The ones who were in dangerous accidents/disasters say this. The ones who were horrifyingly sexually abused say this. The ones who were brutally beaten say this. The ones who were psychologically tortured for decades say this. What does that tell you? That one of the typical side-effects of trauma is to make you believe that you are unworthy of care.
Don’t buy into it, because it’s nonsense. It doesn’t matter if someone else had it “worse.” Every person who experiences a trauma deserves to get the attention and care they need to heal from it.
“one of the typical side-effects of trauma is to make you believe that you are unworthy of care.”
SO true.
ive been on tumblr a long time and i remember when everyone said “oh don’t romanticize mental illness” and it was agreed that doing that was gross and a good way to kill people indirectly
but somehow we’ve come full circle and there are people who legit defend their right to be anti-recovery there are people who don’t want to get better and spread the idea that you can’t get better as if it’s gospel and it’s fucking frightening to me bc nobody seems to want to say “hey? this is toxic and untrue and is your disease speaking, and it’s not something you should accept.”
and i feel like every recovery post gets about 500 of these people saying “this isn’t something that will work” “cool karen i’m depressed” “maybe it worked for you but it won’t work for other people” and that’s… just… im so sorry if you’re 15. i’m sorry if you’re in high school and watching grown adults tell you it doesn’t get better. that nobody says that with time and help and patience the world stops being so heavy, that accepting your illness as a fact is one thing but accepting it as the only way to be is just wrong, that you can learn to live with it and still find some degree of “happy”…. if i had seen this shit back when i was … oh god starting at 12 when i was already self-harming …. i think i’d have actually honest-to-god killed myself. not a joke, not a funny tumblr punchline, i would have actually just killed myself.
i’m saying this right here and right now to the adults on this site. if you for any reason shoot down positivity that’s causing no harm – you might have indirectly worsened someone else’s condition, and you should try and do better in the future. if you find it necessary to tell people “recovery is a lie”, you need to do better. i know everyone has different circumstances, but i also know that mental illness behaves in such a way that everyone thinks they can’t recover. if you feel like you should be spreading the Word Of Relapse, you are causing toxic language to be normalized and you need to do better.
im team “cool karen ive got depression and that means i’m going to try this because i’ve got to try something” i’m team “romanticize recovery” i’m team “it isn’t working now but it might in the future and it’s worth staying to find out” im team “hey this didn’t work for me but it might help somebody else out”
fuck guys it shouldn’t be an unpopular opinion to say “i don’t want any of you to die”.
Oh thank fuck someone finally said it!
hey let’s normalize doing little things to help ourselves!
opening a window sure won’t cure my personality disorders but it will cool down my room and give me fresh air if I haven’t left the house for a while! taking your vitamins won’t cure your depression but it will prevent you from getting vitamin deficiencies if you forget to eat! going outside for a while won’t cure mental illness but it does feel nice!
little things won’t cure us but they will help manage things. these things aren’t “neurotypical”, they are ways of surviving!
While cleaning out my room I found a paper that my therapist gave me some time ago to deal with obsessive and intrusive thoughts. Sorry the paper is a little crinkled and stained, but I figured I’d post it in hopes that it will help someone like it helped me.
Here it is again with text for anyone who can’t see the picture
- That thought isn’t helpful right now.
- Now is not the time to think about it. I can think about it later.
- This is irrational. I’m going to let it go.
- I won’t argue with an irrational thought.
- This is not an emergency. I can slow down and think clearly about what I need.
- This feels threatening and urgent, but it really isn’t.
- I don’t have to be perfect to be OK.
- I don’t have to figure out this question. The best thing to do is just drop it.
- It’s OK to make mistakes.
- I already know from my past experiences that these fears are irrational.
- I have to take risks in order to be free. I’m willing to take this risk.
- It’s OK that I just had that thought/image, and it doesn’t mean anything. I don’t have to pay attention to it.
- I’m ready to move on now.
- I can handle being wrong.
- I don’t have to suffer like this. I deserve to feel comfortable.
- That’s not my responsibility.
- That’s not my problem.
- I’ve done the best I can.
- It’s good practice to let go of this worry. I want to practice.
I’m gonna reblog this again because this is so helpful
This is a really helpful page in my CBT textbook for tackling some of the maladaptive beliefs we often hold. The first column lists the rules and assumptions we often may tell ourselves, while the second column is a more functional belief. Just thought I would pass this along. Be kind to yourselves, friends❤
Oh my god, number 5. And 6, and 7.
I frigging needed that.
Failure is not a permanent condition.
The text on the image:
- Maladaptive belief:
If I don’t do as well as others, I’m a failure.
More functional belief:If I don’t do as well as others, I’m not a failure, just human.
- Maladaptive belief: If I ask for help, it’s a sign of weakness.
More functional belief: If I ask for help when I need it, I’m showing good problem-solving abilities (which is a sign of strength).- Maladaptive belief: If I fail at work/school, I’m a failure as a person.
More functional belief:If I fail at work/school, it’s not a reflection of my whole self. (My whole self includes how I am as a friend, daughter, sister, relative, citizen, and community member, and my qualities of kindness, sensitivity to others, helpfulness, etc.) Also, failure is not a permanent condition.
- Maladaptive belief: I should be able to excel at everything I try.
More functional belief: I shouldn’t be able to excel at something unless I am gifted in that area (and am willing and able to devote considerable time and effort toward it at the expense of other things.- Maladaptive belief: I should always work hard and do my best.
More functional belief: I should put in a reasonable amount of effort much of the time.- Maladaptive belief: If I don’t live up to my potential, I have failed.
More functional belief: If I do less than my best, I have succeeded perhaps 70%, 80%, or 90%; not 0%.- Maladaptive belief: If I don’t work hard all the time, I’ll fail.
More functional belief:If I don’t work hard all the time, I’ll probably do reasonably well and have a more balanced life.
professionals who have researched ways to deal with various mental illnesses: if you practice these few mild activities every day, they could help your recovery, as shown by the patients we have surveyed
y’all on this site: what the fuck is this neurotypical blasphemy? REAL mentally ill people know that you’re never going to get better and you’re doomed to be miserable the rest of your life. anyways here’s a post with “support mentally ill people who are jerks” against a pastel pink background
Are You Dissociating?
Dissociating is one of the most common responses to abuse and trauma. It involves feeling numb, detached or unreal and (while it happens to everyone once in a while) is experienced more frequently and severely in survivors. Dissociating people vary widely in symptoms and may experience any or all of the things from the following list.
You may be dissociating if you:
- find yourself staring at one spot, not thinking anything
- feel completely numb
- feel like you’re not really in your body, like you’re watching yourself in a movie.
- feel suddenly lightheaded or dizzy
- lose the plot of the show or conversation you were focused on
- feel as if you’re not quite real, like you’re in a dream
- feel like you’re floating
- suddenly feel like you’re not a part of the world around you
- feel detached and far away from other people, who may seem mechanical or unreal to you
- are very startled when someone/something gets your attention
- completely forget what you were thinking just a moment ago
- suddenly cover your face or react as if you’re about to be hurt for no reason
- can’t remember important information about yourself, like your age or where you live
- find yourself rocking back and forth
- become very focused on a small or trivial object or event
- find that voices, sounds or writing seem far away and you sometimes have trouble understanding them.
- feel as if you’ve just experienced a flashback (perhaps rapidly) but you can’t remember anything about it.
- perceive your body as foreign or not belonging to you
(likes and reblogs always taken as support)
Nothing but My Aching Soul 