me – Page 3 – Nothing but My Aching Soul

me anywhere: ugh there are people here

Me: *Have the best fanfic idea ever* OMG I NEED TO WRITE THIS IT’S GONNA BE PERFECT
Me, writing it: What the fuck this sucks

the-fifth-raven-boy:

me, after one sleepless night:

me: What do you want, Adam?

me: to feel awake when my eyes are open

me: being adam parrish was a complicated thing

me: it’s not really a place

me: I was here. I exist. I’m alive, because I bleed.

me: I am such a damaged thing.

#little fic writer things: the unnaturally slowly dragging minutes after you post A Thing and start mentally calculating with vague manicness how long it will take anyone to finish reading the thing before you get any feedback/comments/responses and gently panicking in the meantime because What If It Actually Sucked After All

Me [chanting]: soft andrew! soft andrew! soft andrew! soft andrew!
Someone: well actually nora said in her extra content-
Me [now banging my fists on the table]: SOFT ANDREW! SOFT ANDREW! SOFT ANDREW! SOFT ANDREW!

what she says: im fine
what she means: adam parrish has three jobs and yet he is able to find time to be at the top of his class and have friends that go on adventures and deal with a needy forest. how does any of this work out? how does he manage to keep his schedules for all of his jobs straight? are there ever conflicts? when does he sleep? how did he manage his time before he lived at st. agnes and had a car, when he had to bike to and from school and work and friends? what kinds of benefits does he get from his jobs? does he have health insurance? does he ever have trouble doing his taxes? does aglionby have any honors clubs or extracurriculars that he wishes he could join but can’t because they have ridiculous fees? how does he go to a rich kids school without any electronic device? how does he write his essays or do online assignments? do the librarians in henrietta know him well from all of the times he’s gone there to type his essays, to do research, to find some place quiet to study without the presence of his father looking in the other room, to look up words that gansey used that, to listen to that song he heard blue humming? is adam getting enough to eat? will he ever be happy? will henrietta ever be any place to him but a place to leave and forget? will he get to see his friends often even after they graduate?? when will i get over adam parrish????