It was
Nicky who forced them all in the car on an apparently random Saturday, with empty
threats, a good deal of supplication, and endless streaks of “Neil. Neil. Neil.
Neil.” which got on everyone nerves, even his own.
Neil managed
to outlast Nicky the fifth time he did it by turning on the shower, choosing to
wash his hair for the second time in as many days just so the water would flow over
his ears.
“What the
fuck are you doing?” was the first thing he heard when he stepped out of the stall,
almost relaxed. The voices were right outside the bathroom door but Neil
pretended he was alone in the world as he dried and dressed as slowly as
possible.
Okay, so this is my very last-minute gift for @nakasomethingkun through @aftgexchange. So, I meant there to be stuff related to the 4th of July and to Andreil reuniting during their long-distance relationship, and this… sort of has that stuff. Anyways, it might not be exactly what I meant it to be, but I kind of like it, so hopefully you will, too?
Neil Josten didn’t pay much attention to birthdays. He willfully ignored his own, did little more than slide a phone to Andrew on his, and in that tradition, America’s birthday was hardly a blip on Neil’s radar.
Other people turned the Fourth of July into an entire spectacle party. Other people woke up early, spent hours in the car, and made their way to a beach or a backyard. They made small talk with people they would have avoided otherwise; they drank more than they would have otherwise; they ate food they wouldn’t have otherwise. Other people turned a regular day into something else, like it was so unique that this country had come to be.
@anclrewjosten asked me to expand on the dating season of my Foxhole Court meets the Amazing Race headcanon/AU so here goes:
recap: all the Foxes met on the Amazing Race years ago, Allison & Renee, Andrew & Neil, Matt & Dan were all on different teams originally but hooked up on/after that race and have now been invited back for Amazing Race: All-Star Couples
all the teams remained friends after they left the Amazing Race, their group chat names change based on their experience on the first race. It starts with “THE AMAZING DAN AND RENEE” because they won, it changes to “Neil Boyd” or “Matt Josten” because of all the fan theories that they were husbands, once it’s “Coconut Head Kevin” but Kevin changes it to “Aaron’s Coconut Rage Issues” because it was Aaron that threw the coconut that smacked him in the head
everyone this season is racing for 1st place and the right to change the group chat name
Phil comments on how, despite having found love on the race, Andrew still doesn’t smile that much – the editors have to edit him flipping Phil off but they really don’t want to
everyone places bets on how long it will take for Andrew to smile on camera, they get close after leg one when Neil and Andrew take first place and Neil kisses his forehead, his cheeks, his nose, his whole face really, in excitement. Andrew clenches his teeth and buries his face in Neil’s shoulder until he composes himself
Neil and Matt still act like husbands whenever they’re anywhere together: waiting outside roadblocks for Dan and Andrew, passing each other while running so they hug each other mid-run at full speed
the only time Neil doesn’t bro it up with Matt is when they’re on airplanes together because Neil and Andrew spend the entire time on their flights going over strategies (and it’s only 80% to keep Andrew’s mind off his fear of heights and flying)
the three couples decide not to ever U-turn each other, one of the random teams they don’t know U-turn Neil and Andrew – they don’t come in last because Neil & Andrew kick ass and race through both detours and a different random couple team gets eliminated but the Foxes make the the race a living hell for the couple that U-turned Neil & Andrew, it takes them two legs before they’re eliminated
the camera crew might not be able to catch Andrew smiling (because he doesn’t do it) but they are surprised at how often Andrew and Neil are kissing on camera, not even trying to hide it, they kiss each other all the time, on the lips, forehead, cheeks, one time Andrew kisses Neil on the back of his hand and one of the camera guys almost faints from how cute it is (the show was planning on giving them a much different, dramatic edit since Andrew is so ‘emotionless’ but they end up getting the most adorable loving couple edit)
after the angry and bickering edit Allison got on the last race, the editors are surprised to find Allison is much more chill and Renee doesn’t have a single explosive bone in her body. Allison rants and gets loud but never at Renee, she kicks something in frustration but as soon as she’s back with Renee she just calmly leans against her and sighs “that challenge was dumb” to which Renee replies “yes but you did it and I’m proud of you” “good, let’s go win”
Dan and Matt are the powerhouse couple, they can do everything, they’re both buff as hell, both energetic and passionate, they’re always racing ahead and doing the physically intense detours. and they’re always supportive and kissing each other but the cutest couple edit was already taken so they focus more on damn look at those guns and communication skills as they both lift up those rocks damn
there’s a roadblock where you need to complete the task where you have to go down a runway wearing heels and perform a routine – Allison kills it, surprising no one. Dan kills it, surprising everyone except the Foxes, no one expects Andrew to be able to walk in heels let alone move his hips like that (the camera guy actually faints this time)
Matt comments on how maybe Andrew should wear heels all the time because then he wouldn’t have to get up on his tip toes or haul Neil down by his neck for kisses but Neil says that Andrew doesn’t need anymore weapons (heels are painful Matt, I know Neil but think how cute, shut the fuck up Matt I actually like him short, I’ll f*cking kill you both)
the three teams end up being the final three teams (no one is surprised), it’s the most hectic final leg ever and all bets are off – they don’t actively try to trick each other but they don’t help each other in any way, they trash talk each other but in weird inside joke ways that don’t sound that mean but Matt gets so offended when Andrew shouts “Neil Josten can’t succeed at anything in life” at him that Matt stops mid-run to talk up Neil’s success story, “Navy Blue is not your color, Neil” Allison shouts and Neil starts running backwards to yell “Navy blue brings out my eyes!”, Dan is constantly saying “mediocre” and “weak” to anything the other teams do, Renee doesn’t say anything mean about anyone ever but stares at them until they get uncomfortable. The editors have to edit out all of Neil’s trash talk because it gets very specific, very long, and everyone just sort of stands around stunned for a moment before continuing to race
Neil and Andrew win but it’s one of the closest finals ever, Dan and Matt are in second, Allison and Renee in third. The other Foxes demand to know who won but they can’t tell anyone until the show is out and finished so the group chat name changes constantly to different guesses until they either run out of options or get strangely specific “Andrew threatened Phil until he gave him and Neil first place”, “Allison bribed Phil”, “Matt and Neil won” (they weren’t a team this time, doesn’t matter they still won together), “Kevin got hit with a coconut again” (I WASN’T EVEN ON THE RACE THIS TIME)
the group chat has never been more active than when the season airs, they all live text each other while watching it, guessing at who wins the leg, who gets kicked off, oh damn that team really fucked up they will actually die if Neil and Andrew go home this leg, wow Neil and Andrew are insufferably cute in this edit make it stop, WHERE DID YOU LEARN TO WALK IN HEELS ANDREW, Dan did you really give Matt a piggyback ride? i was tired and she’s so strong
they all get together at Allison and Renee’s place to watch the finale together, they turn it into a drinking game (every time Neil & Andrew kiss, Matt says “you’re the best” to Dan, Allison tells an inanimate object she’s going to sue it) and at the end of the night the group chat changes to “THE AMAZING NEIL AND ANDREW”
Nothing but My Aching Soul 