BOI let’s talk about Neil “rabbit” Josten and Andrew “never lets his guard down” Minyard and how they inexplicably forget the rest of the world is a thing when they’re together???? Like
- everyone knows better than to interrupt their intense eye contact. They’ll stare at each other for minutes at a time and matt’s just standing there off to the side, waiting for their bizarre silent convo to wind down. Neil’s the first to look away.
- “Oh, how long have you been there, matt?“
- “Just a few seconds don’t worry"
- even when they’re not staring at each other, they’re both completely useless if one is looking. Neil focuses his entire attention on Andrew when the sun hits him just right and Kevin sighs and closes the notebook of exy plays they’d been discussing. Andrew is not-watching Neil staring at him, Neil is probably mentally composing a sonnet about Andrew’s shoulders or arms or pinky finger, and Kevin starts talking about Quebec, potato salad, and cello music because anything he says Neil will never be able to remember
- they’re not much for PDA but also when the locker room is empty after a game, they might (always) make out against the lockers and sometimes they don’t remember that one freshman who was getting dressed in the showers and he squeaks in surprise when he walks in on them but they’re too wrapped up in each other to notice (or care)
- dan is sure she could blow an air horn next to their ears, but if they’re sharing a cigarette, they wouldn’t even flinch. Nearly every day after practice while they wait for Kevin to finish up, Neil and Andrew share a cigarette in the shade provided by the court’s walls. They stand not quite close enough to touch but the space between them is almost nonexistent, and take turns smoking while gazing meaningfully at each other. Or Andrew will smoke and Neil will steal his cigarette and he’ll steal it back and on and on until the thing is burned down to the filter.
- Nicky swears he caught them shotgunning smoke but his phone was "dead” at the time and without visual evidence he couldn’t cash in the prize money.
- He’s still bitter about it.
- one time they halted an entire game for a full minute because some asswipe had growled “Wesninski” at Neil and Neil got tripped up and twisted his ankle.
- the combination of panic from hearing his old name and panic about not being able to play kept him on the court floor and Andrew was at his side in an instant. He ignored the rest of the players, the refs, and Coach in favor of kneeling on the ground and pressing his forehead to Neil’s. They whispered to each other for a full half a minute before the panic left Neil’s eyes and Andrew was content to sit back.
- Neil at least had the decency to look sheepish when he saw the dozen people crowded around them, staring at him with varying amounts of confusion and annoyance.
- Andrew did not.
Tag: hc
Concept: Ronan Lynch and Adam Parrish as PTA moms
•ronan would argue with the other moms all the time: “a bakesale Helen? Oh how original.”
•ronan bragging about his IVY LEAGUE boyfriend Adam and his brownies.
•ronan calling out the homophobic moms
•"everyone here knows you buy your shitty cookies from Jewel, Karen. Stop pretending.“
•Adam Parrish: the most polite savage you will ever meet
•WITH HIS ACCENT AND HIS CHARMING SMILE
•"oh Hon, let the real bakers take care of the bake sale.”
•AND THEN
•THE MOMS WHO LOVE ADAM
•he gets sent home with recipes and playdate offers and lipstick smudges on his cheek.
•ronan and adam going to meetings together and shutting up the bitchy moms with their “horror twin” look or one icy glare in sync.
•IMAGINE THEM TELLING THE GANGSEY ABOUT IT.
•GANSEY IS APALLED.
•"RONAN YOU CAN’T TELL THE OTHER MOMS TO FUCK OFF"
•Blue would laugh her ass off.
•"you said what about her cookies?“
•and beautiful henry cheng my child would offer advice.
•"call them by the wrong name, that’ll piss em off.”
•RONAN AND ADAM AS PTA MOMS
Who’s feeling like some gratuitous Fox headcanons? I know I am. Here we go.
- Dan can military press Matt
- Nicky once filmed her do it and put it on the foxes’ official Twitter
- unsurprisingly, the general response was “raw me"
- somewhere on Katelyn’s phone or computer there is a 20 minute video of Aaron drunkenly ranting about gender roles in Les Miserables. Even stranger than the fact that he doesnt even take any classes where this is a relevant topic is that the rant is completely coherent and doesn’t contain a single grammatical error. Katelyn has tried time and again to produce an encore, but so far, no dice.
- Nicky, when tired enough, will completely forget the difference between English, Spanish, and German, and never finishes a sentence in the same language as when he started. Only Neil knows all three well enough to understand him in this state.
- Allison hasn’t lost an arm wrestling contest in 6 years. Doesn’t matter if her opponent has muscles bigger than her head. Allison. Always. Wins.
- Kevin has what i like to call “teddy bear syndrome”, meaning if he’s asleep and you give him something to hold, he will cling to it like his life depends on it
it stems from his early days with Riko, when he went to sleep every night holding a picture of his mom, until he lost it one daysorry this was getting a bit too smiley for me. Back to the doofus-fest.- the foxes have taken advantage of this for many hilarious purposes, such as pictures oh him cradling a bottle of vodka (like he has to be asleep for that, the goddamn alcoholic) or unknowingly choking the life out of Aaron
- (when Kevin asked Aaron where all the bruises came from at practice the next day, Andrew commented that he and Katelyn were probably trying some new stuff. Neil had to be benched because he couldn’t stop laughing)
- Neil fucking loves dragging Kevin. And I don’t mean “he’s a shitty player” or anything like that. I mean that because he is technically the best player on the planet, people tend to forget that Kevin’s also a twenty-something year old college student, and Neil is determined to remind people that twenty-something year old college students are fucking disgusting
- The worst part is that since Neil and Andrew aren’t out yet, he has nothing to get back at him with because Neil is a goddamn Saint when it comes to hygiene. It is hell.
- of course, eventually they do come out, and when they do. Hoo boy. The stories Kevin has to share.
RMR WHEN THE FOXES WENT HORSEBACK RIDING ON THEIR SPRING BREAK TRIP I SURE DO
- dan: “these are some tall dogs”
- nobody thought it was a good idea for neil to go bc he could still barely move his hands least of all to steer a horse
- nicky offered to have neil join him on his horse so he could put his arms around him
- that got a Big No from one andrew minyard
- neil managed to get on the horse with matt’s help and he didn’t really have to steer it kind of just followed the rest of the horses everywhere
- kevin chooses a horse named Queenie ITS DEFINITELY A COINCIDENCE HAHAha
- she’s super wild and scares kevin at first but then he’s just holding his head high and both he and his horse know they’re better than everyone else
- nicky tried to get matt and dan to race his horse and he lost quickly
- “it’s okay buddy you did your best i still love you shhh” nicky whispers as he pets his horse’s neck
- andrew chose the biggest darkest horse bc it was the only way he would agree to climb on an animal (that and he had to keep an eye on neil)
- his legs are so short they don’t come very far down the sides and the bigness makes him look even smaller don’t tell him that
- allison and renee decide they want to be those lesbians that have a ranch and raise horses it’s v brokeback mountain BUT ONLY THE GOOD PARTS
- not only does neil’s horse only follow the rest of the line of horses on the trail but she’s a v old horse and more than a little slow
- sometimes she just stops walking for a little while possibly out of boredom and neil just waits and gently pats her on the neck until she moves again
- andrew gets annoyed bc he keeps stopping when neil stops bc he insisted on riding behind him last in line
- they catch up with the others eventually and when they climb off all of them are walking funny
- nicky: “it’s been a while since i’ve had such a sore ass lol”
- everyone else: “STOP”
ok but consider: cheerleader Neil Josten
HEAR ME OUT I’M GOING SOMEWHERE WITH THIS I SWEAR
– so we all know neil’s mom said he couldn’t play exy
– you know what the next best thing to playing exy is
– obsessively watching exy and cheering for it
– his mom didn’t really mind (well, he did at first, but neil somehow convinced her it wasn’t terrible) as long as he didn’t get attached to a squad and shit
– boy picked up so much skill from local cheer gyms everywhere
– he trained sO HARD (like half because if he was better they put him closer to the game so he had a better view)
– his tumbling passes were legendary. with his speed he could do the craziest shit like so many back handsprings. a back tuck. crazy twists and everything.
– even though he’s a guy he’s still soooo short
– at one point his coach decided to make him a f l y e r – like this little 5"3 muscular ass boy getting tossed like 20 feet in the air by these peppy girls in short skirts – just imagine
– he kept going until sometime before his mom died, when he realized he might have put a bit too much effort into the sport. people don’t see boy flyers and pass it off, and one of his teams almost made it big. almost- neil’s mom made him mess up their last routine and they left shortly after crippling the squad’s chances at nationals
– neil never really cheered again after his mom died, but he sometimes watched the vixens’ routines, mentally noting their strengths and weaknesses and what they could do with them, but he never said anything because he only knew katelyn and… it’s katelyn
– no one knows about his cheer days. not even andrew. uNTIL
– one day neil is out running and hey look up ahead near the exy stadium it’s the vixens holding practice
– he’s totally just gonna go right by them because exy but then he hears some shouting
– as he gets closer he sees some guys trying to talk to the vixens. from the look of their body language and the girls’ tense stances, it’s not going well
– neil gets closer and hears some very rude and derogatory things being said
– he promptly tells them to fuck off, may have added a threat or two. the guys bail.
– the vixens tell him they had it covered but thanks anyway, and one is like “hey, you wanna have a real practice today?” like totally joking
– neil’s brain is like fuck it
– “yeah sure can you guys fly me in a basket double twist”
– who are you and what have you done with our starting striker
– neil just basically joins their practice
– katelyn’s reaction was priceless
– not as priceless as andrew’s expression when he sees his boyfriend being thrown into the air by a bunch of cheerleaders on the way to practice
All hail showers, the worlds greatest source of inspiration.
- It’s April 1st, and Nicky decides to go on a pranking spree
- This naturally starts a prank war
- What happens during this prank war is actually not important to our story, so I’ll leave that to you guys.
- What is important is that Neil keeps getting pranked because he doesn’t know what April Fools is.
- At the end of the day Nicky explains and he just goes “oh”.
Ya know, that kind of “oh” that really means “oooh I should do that"
- Well the foxes forget all about it.
- But Neil doesn’t.
- See this whole post is born from the fact that we, as a fandom, seldom talk about Neil spending nearly a decade switching personalities like most people switch clothes.
Not Neil tho he’s better with personality than clothes I mean Jesus fuck kid, jorts?- What I’m getting at here is: Neil is fucking amazing at impressions.
- Which the Foxes find out the next April when Neil shows up to practice in the morning with black hair, green color contacts, and a tattoo of a chess queen on his cheek.
- Kevin is horrified.
- The upperclassmen are delighted.
- Nicky starts laughing literally every time Mini Kevin opens his mouth.
- Aaron acts like he doesn’t care but he secretly records the whole thing with his phone and it’s gold.
- He doesn’t show it, but this is the first thing Andrew’s found genuinely funny since he got off his meds.
- Neil doesn’t break character once, no matter how many times Kevin tries to trip him. His imitiation of Kevin’s voice is perfect. He berates Andrew for his eating, criticizes everyone and everything during practice, real Kevin included, and mutters curses in French whenever something doesn’t go his way.
- The foxes would’ve gotten tired of it quick if not for real Kevin acting NOTHING like himself for all of this. It’s like Mini Kevin stole his personality.
- Right after afternoon practice Kevin gets a phone call from Jeremy.
- Aaron uploaded the video to youtube and it got over a million views in under an hour and a half. The trojans are watching it on repeat. Jean laughed so hard he fell back from his chair and hit his head on the floor, rendering him briefly unconscious.
- Kevin doesn’t tell anyone about this.
- (Not that he needed to. Jean already called Renee and told her the story between fits of laughter.)
- It makes the evening sports review channel news.
- But by next morning it’s back to regular Neil.
And that’s the story of how Neil was invited to guest on Saturday Night Live
Board Games with The Foxes
What if instead of watching movies, the Foxes decide to have Board Game Night. Nicky saw the “Family Game Night “ commercial and literally was like “Hey! We should do that!” Of course, nobody wants to at all.
So the Foxes end up all voting Andrew to pick the first game, thinking this is a sure way for Game Night to never happen.
Except that Friday, Andrew walks into movie night holding a box.
It’s Monopoly.
Russian study sessions and integration:
- Neil attaching vocab words onto furniture (bonus points for when he starts doing it at the court too)
- counting off their workout reps in Russian
- accidental introductions of new words via surprised shouts (usually rude ones snarled during heated games or practices)
you can’t tell me andrew didn’t learn swears quickly- Andrew dumping his person onto Neil’s flashcard covered bed with a bored look and quizzing him
- small study sessions at the back of the bus
- some vocab drilling but mostly they talk about the area they’re passing through, or they might play car games–picture I spy
- I like to think that they have more heart-to-hearts like the one in tkm, just Neil passing the time telling Andrew little stories of him and his mom. Or that during Andrew’s 5th year when the team is on the way home from distant away games Neil can’t help but reflect on what’s going to happen with Andrew leaving and he just needs to say something but there are too many foxes in the bus at that point
- during exy games when they’re both on the bench, they take turns narrating the game (well, Neil narrates, and Andrew picks out mistakes the other goal keeper makes)
- covert dirty talk
there’s no getting around it- Andrew wanting to annoy/unnerve the more grating freshman so he picks up the habit of staring at them and talking to Neil about their weekend plans
- kid gets back to his dorm later like, “do u think minyard’s out to get me?” “bro, maybe you shouldn’t be a dick to his cousin” “bro, I didn’t even start that” “…dude”
- having alone time where they’re committed to only speaking with e/o in Russian:
- imagine that they’re just hanging out on the roof: Neil’s head resting against Andrew’s thigh, one of Neil’s hands is holding a burning cigarette while his other is curled up near his face, thumb rubbing circles into Andrew’s knee cap
- (they’re never deep conversations: Andrew mentioning what Bee is going as for halloween, Neil talking about potential players he and Wymack are scouting, Andrew reporting on his sparing lessons with Robin, getting up to date on their teammate’s bets, Neil filling in Andrew on the upperclassmen’s Real Life adventures)
- It’s comfy and relaxed so they let their sentences lag. depending on the day they might be left unfinished for lack of energy
- save for when they’re left unfinished because Neil can’t quite find the word that he’s looking for
- Neil has a habit of squinting at his smoke trail when he forgets a word, a tail Andrew picks up on, smoothing his hand through Neil’s hair as he tries to fill in the blanks
the foxhole court family <3
- basically neil adores his family
- like he is 100% invested in them
- and they are so proud of him (yes, even kevin)
- like kevin and him will sit for hours rewatching the same Exy games, making terrible exy jokes (’hey, day?’ ‘what?’ ‘this is exylent’)
- and neil will agree to sample his protein shakes even though they all taste horrible and healthy
- like basically the two are indeed friends, no matter what reporters says, seeing kevin day basically screaming at neil for being so fucking stupid half the court away, neil flipping him off without even looking.
- neil also always waits for renee after her bible group. they meet late every wednesday and end around 10 at night and he finishes class at 9 but he doesn’t mind waiting because it is a long walk across campus at night and he knows renee is perfectly capable of walking by herself, he just thinks she might not mind the company.
- she always tells him what pastel colour she plans on dying next, and he always asks how she does it exactly because renee’s hair always looks so perfect and they exchange hair dye tips and tricks.
- allison makes him go shopping
- and neil lets her critique his barely held together converse shoes.
- basically they spend entire days together and she drives him far away from the university and it helps him deal with his anxiety, with the car going faster and faster until the stress goes away.
- he’s also right there beside her at women right protests and movements, because he does not understand why guys think its weird to support how strong women really are.
- allison totally paints his nails for those events and he never minds. he likes it most when she does orange and white because he is such a team spirit nerd.
- dan and matt always take him out for pizza since it’s his favorite food.
- they go see a movie and basically run around taking the weirdest instagram photos e v e r.
- like neil planking in front of a fountain? got it.
- dan flipping off the statue of christopher fucking columbus? got it.
- matt trying to coax of a bunny rabbit in the park to trust him and be his forever best buddy? you better believe they got it.
- fans adore their instagram accounts.
- basically neil is dan and matt’s child and they adore him
- some idiot tries to attack nicky for being gay on twitter?
- ohhhh poor life choice buddy because did you not know that is neil’s domain?
- like riko may have thought he was king of exy, but neil is the master of twitter.
- like basically he does not stop. he shreds the poor ignorant bastard and educates him on why exactly he is wrong and basically whenever someone tries to attack nicky’s sexuality he is right there ready to fight.
- (he is also the more polite one nicky can introduce erik without as much fear to because really? aaron or andrew? please son. neil is the one with more evolved manners, even if they aren’t much.)
- aaron and him have a more basic relationship.
- sometimes neil hands him a bottle of water instead of throwing it at his face
- BUT
- he is always nice to Katelyn. that is without fail.
- and well
- andrew
- andrew is a bit more special
- “it’s always a yes with you”
I really love the trend in post-finale fics of the Russian skating family just ADORING Yuuri, to the point where they pretty much like him more than they like Victor.
Like they’ve known Victor for years, but they give HIM the shovel talk.
When Yuuri’s anxiety flairs up and he starts thinking that he doesn’t deserve Victor, they’re like “Nah, dude, he doesn’t deserve you.”
(Victor wants to be offended, but honestly he agrees with them)
When Yakov starts threatening bodily harm to Victor for being stubborn, Yuuri protests with “Please don’t break my fiancé!” and Yakov replies with “Don’t worry, we’ll find you a better one. Trust me, there’ll be plenty of volunteers.”
(And Yuuri just blushes and stammers “Okay, but I like this one!”)