imagine a Foxhole Amazing Race AU:

teams: Neil and Matt, Andrew and Kevin, Aaron and Nicky, Renee and Dan, Allison and Seth, (additionally we can have Jean & Jeremy and Laila & Alvarez)

teams are all meeting each other for the first time (except the cousins + Kevin)

Dan and Renee are always in the lead, closely followed by Neil and Matt

Kevin is the most passionate and keeps pushing them to go farther but Andrew doesn’t give it his all unless he has incentive

Allison and Seth frequently come in last because of their arguing but they rock the roadblocks faster than half the teams

Aaron doesn’t care. Nicky is just happy to be there.

Phil asks the twins, when both teams end up on the mat at the same time, why they didn’t come on the show together and they look at each other until Andrew says “I would kill him” and Aaron says “he’s a dick”

they don’t comment on the amount of times Andrew looked like he was going to kill Kevin

everyone thinks Matt and Neil are dating because Matt is constantly hugging and lifting Neil up and kissing him on the cheek or forehead, neither deny it

Allison and Seth are always bickering, the other teams are all betting on when they’ll break up during the race

somehow Matt always ends up doing the same roadblocks as Dan and he starts to fall for her, no one can say that Matt allows his feelings to let her take the lead because she was already in the lead and doesn’t need help to stay there, but she hangs around Matt longer than she needs to at times

one roadblock has a knife throwing challenge and Neil makes it out first (only a minute before Renee), doesn’t even blink at how easy it is for him. Andrew stares at him the entire time.

there’s a detour with heights involved and Andrew tenses, Kevin waits with him impatiently and starts to complain when Matt and Neil show up and start to pass them but Neil notices something is off and stops to talk to Andrew, “hey if you can get to the top of the mountain I’ll tell you a secret”

both teams arrive at the top almost at the same time and later that evening when they’re waiting for their plane, Andrew corners Neil and drags him away from the cameras. Neil tells him that he and Matt aren’t dating. “Not good enough,” Andrew says and Neil sees the question in Andrew’s eyes. He tells him a story of growing up with knife training every night. Andrew doesn’t ask why, just nods and goes back to the other teams.

Nicky asks Neil if he’s planning to cheat on Matt with Andrew and Neil laughs before going back to Matt and laying with his head in Matt’s lap. Nicky is the only one who still thinks Matt and Neil are dating at this point (mostly because everyone has seen Matt’s heart eyes for Dan)

Allison and Seth break up when they lose a leg and Allison writes her number on Renee’s hand

Dan and Renee win, Kevin and Andrew are in second, Matt and Neil in third

it’s speculated that Kevin and Andrew come in second because Neil had whispered to Andrew before the leg “if you give it your all, I’ll make it worth your while” (Matt’s not even mad that this probably cost them second place, he’s just happy for them)

a couple years later Andrew and Neil return for an All Stars Couple race along with Renee & Allison, and Matt & Dan. Their original race is forever known as the Match Making race (even more so than the actual blind dating race because this one actually worked)

Imagine this …

stellamai:

Nicky’s really into joke books. Erik sends him one for his birthday during his final year of college and he can’t stop reading them out to the Foxes at any given opportunity.

His sole mission in life becomes to make Andrew smile at one of his terrible jokes. He pops up, book in hand, going, “hey Andrew, what kind of cheese can you use to hide a horse?

“Mascarpone!”

Neil’s never heard crappy jokes like this before; he never had the opportunity while on the run to be exposed to mindless comedy. He finds them hilarious, and giggles at them with a childlike joy. He’s usually in the room when Nicky’s trying (and failing) to involve Andrew in a Knock Knock joke, and starts joining in from a corner in order to hear the terrible punchline.

Andrew doesn’t care about Nicky’s annoying, failed attempts to make him smile as long as he keeps coaxing that gleeful laughter out of Neil.

Neil starts researching his own jokes and telling them to Andrew when they’re alone. Andrew doesn’t mind nearly as much as he thought he would, and even indulges Neil with a “who’s there?” on occasion.

One day they’re in the locker room together and Andrew goes, in the most deadpan voice, “what’s the difference between ignorance and apathy?”

Neil just blinks at him, because he’s sure Andrew just started telling him a joke. “What’s the difference?” he asks finally.

Andrew sits across from him and leans back against the lockers. “I don’t know and I don’t care.”

And Neil gets it. And it’s just so Andrew. And he is delighted. He grins so wide he thinks his face might crack as his shoulders shake with silent laughter, partly at the joke but mainly at the joy he feels staring at the person who told it.

And Andrew smiles right back at him.

Meanwhile, Nicky is backing away from the locker room door silently, before booking it back to the rest of the foxes, complaining, “of course Andrew would only laugh at his own jokes,” and, “I’ve been trying for months, but he’ll smile for Neil at the drop of a hat. I’m his cousin.”

And although he doesn’t understand the Andrew he sees with Neil, he’s just so happy that he exists. God knows they both deserve it.

arrafrost:

@anclrewjosten asked me to expand on the dating season of my Foxhole Court meets the Amazing Race headcanon/AU so here goes:

recap: all the Foxes met on the Amazing Race years ago, Allison & Renee, Andrew & Neil, Matt & Dan were all on different teams originally but hooked up on/after that race and have now been invited back for Amazing Race: All-Star Couples

all the teams remained friends after they left the Amazing Race, their group chat names change based on their experience on the first race. It starts with “THE AMAZING DAN AND RENEE” because they won, it changes to “Neil Boyd” or “Matt Josten” because of all the fan theories that they were husbands, once it’s “Coconut Head Kevin” but Kevin changes it to “Aaron’s Coconut Rage Issues” because it was Aaron that threw the coconut that smacked him in the head

everyone this season is racing for 1st place and the right to change the group chat name

Phil comments on how, despite having found love on the race, Andrew still doesn’t smile that much – the editors have to edit him flipping Phil off but they really don’t want to

everyone places bets on how long it will take for Andrew to smile on camera, they get close after leg one when Neil and Andrew take first place and Neil kisses his forehead, his cheeks, his nose, his whole face really, in excitement. Andrew clenches his teeth and buries his face in Neil’s shoulder until he composes himself

Neil and Matt still act like husbands whenever they’re anywhere together: waiting outside roadblocks for Dan and Andrew, passing each other while running so they hug each other mid-run at full speed

the only time Neil doesn’t bro it up with Matt is when they’re on airplanes together because Neil and Andrew spend the entire time on their flights going over strategies (and it’s only 80% to keep Andrew’s mind off his fear of heights and flying)

the three couples decide not to ever U-turn each other, one of the random teams they don’t know U-turn Neil and Andrew – they don’t come in last because Neil & Andrew kick ass and race through both detours and a different random couple team gets eliminated but the Foxes make the the race a living hell for the couple that U-turned Neil & Andrew, it takes them two legs before they’re eliminated

the camera crew might not be able to catch Andrew smiling (because he doesn’t do it) but they are surprised at how often Andrew and Neil are kissing on camera, not even trying to hide it, they kiss each other all the time, on the lips, forehead, cheeks, one time Andrew kisses Neil on the back of his hand and one of the camera guys almost faints from how cute it is (the show was planning on giving them a much different, dramatic edit since Andrew is so ‘emotionless’ but they end up getting the most adorable loving couple edit)

after the angry and bickering edit Allison got on the last race, the editors are surprised to find Allison is much more chill and Renee doesn’t have a single explosive bone in her body. Allison rants and gets loud but never at Renee, she kicks something in frustration but as soon as she’s back with Renee she just calmly leans against her and sighs “that challenge was dumb” to which Renee replies “yes but you did it and I’m proud of you” “good, let’s go win”

Dan and Matt are the powerhouse couple, they can do everything, they’re both buff as hell, both energetic and passionate, they’re always racing ahead and doing the physically intense detours. and they’re always supportive and kissing each other but the cutest couple edit was already taken so they focus more on damn look at those guns and communication skills as they both lift up those rocks damn

there’s a roadblock where you need to complete the task where you have to go down a runway wearing heels and perform a routine – Allison kills it, surprising no one. Dan kills it, surprising everyone except the Foxes, no one expects Andrew to be able to walk in heels let alone move his hips like that (the camera guy actually faints this time)

Matt comments on how maybe Andrew should wear heels all the time because then he wouldn’t have to get up on his tip toes or haul Neil down by his neck for kisses but Neil says that Andrew doesn’t need anymore weapons (heels are painful Matt, I know Neil but think how cute, shut the fuck up Matt I actually like him short, I’ll f*cking kill you both)

the three teams end up being the final three teams (no one is surprised), it’s the most hectic final leg ever and all bets are off – they don’t actively try to trick each other but they don’t help each other in any way, they trash talk each other but in weird inside joke ways that don’t sound that mean but Matt gets so offended when Andrew shouts “Neil Josten can’t succeed at anything in life” at him that Matt stops mid-run to talk up Neil’s success story, “Navy Blue is not your color, Neil” Allison shouts and Neil starts running backwards to yell “Navy blue brings out my eyes!”, Dan is constantly saying “mediocre” and “weak” to anything the other teams do, Renee doesn’t say anything mean about anyone ever but stares at them until they get uncomfortable. The editors have to edit out all of Neil’s trash talk because it gets very specific, very long, and everyone just sort of stands around stunned for a moment before continuing to race

Neil and Andrew win but it’s one of the closest finals ever, Dan and Matt are in second, Allison and Renee in third. The other Foxes demand to know who won but they can’t tell anyone until the show is out and finished so the group chat name changes constantly to different guesses until they either run out of options or get strangely specific “Andrew threatened Phil until he gave him and Neil first place”, “Allison bribed Phil”, “Matt and Neil won” (they weren’t a team this time, doesn’t matter they still won together), “Kevin got hit with a coconut again” (I WASN’T EVEN ON THE RACE THIS TIME)

the group chat has never been more active than when the season airs, they all live text each other while watching it, guessing at who wins the leg, who gets kicked off, oh damn that team really fucked up they will actually die if Neil and Andrew go home this leg, wow Neil and Andrew are insufferably cute in this edit make it stop, WHERE DID YOU LEARN TO WALK IN HEELS ANDREW, Dan did you really give Matt a piggyback ride? i was tired and she’s so strong

they all get together at Allison and Renee’s place to watch the finale together, they turn it into a drinking game (every time Neil & Andrew kiss, Matt says “you’re the best” to Dan, Allison tells an inanimate object she’s going to sue it) and at the end of the night the group chat changes to “THE AMAZING NEIL AND ANDREW”

jostyards:

one of my favourite headcanons about neil is that he’s so trained to overreact to fucking anything that could potentially ruin his secrecy and that bleeds into normal life with the foxes

like he’s using a computer at some point

and it’s like that scene with rosa from brooklyn nine nine 

the computer stops loading anything

so he smashes it to pieces 

“I’ll pay for that”

then throws a couple hundred dollars on top of it and walks away

everyone at the library is confused, terrified and a bit turned on

one day neil gets a nosebleed so there’s blood on his shirt

he just asks andrew to drive him somewhere

so andrew just watches as neil goes into a laundromat

throws his clothes in the wash and then walks away and tells andrew to drive 

andrew doesn’t say anything but neil literally just left

a brand new fucking shirt in the washing machine

and he knows they’re not coming back to get it

and that shirt looked really good on him

so what the fuck

he buys new shoes at one point so he takes the old ones and tosses them out the window

literally breaks the window 

his face is completely flat 

but kevin is yelling at him his face is going fucking red and the rest of the foxes are watching with open mouths 

neil pretends none of them exist 

or maybe he just really doesn’t see them 

he very calmly walks out of the room 

goes down the stairs 

and the foxes watch through the broken window as neil approaches the shoes on the pavement 

pulls something out from behind his back 

(it’s kerosene) 

he’s literally burning his old shoes like it’s a normal thing to do because he got new ones 

and hes completely nonchalant about it too 

“neil…. r u ok?” 

neil responds with the usual, of course, and then when prompted for further explanation he says · “they could betray my location” 

what 

literally w h a T 

matt is hugging neil to his chest and looking like he never wants to let go bc apparently this is shit neil has had to think about all his life and sometimes matt forgets that 

dan is right beside him with a hand on neils shoulder looking like she’s about to fight the ashes that used to be ratty old shoes 

(neil, whose face is pressed into matt’s chest, is so confused) 

meanwhile nicky cannot stop fucking laughing

and it’s a bit surprising but aaron and kevin and allison are all laughing with him 

“BETRAY HIM” 

nicky keeps explaining with tears in his eyes that neil was afraid his old shoes were traitors 

renee kind of just watches bc she finds it endearing 

as she passes neil she just kind of whispers to him that he did good 

even though it was clearly unnecessary

andrew completely walked out probably 10 minutes ago 

he’s just waiting for the drama to stop 

and he keeps telling himself “I don’t care I really don’t care”

but the curiosity is haunting him 

where was the kerosene

I was watching my brother play xbox when I realized… professional sports teams have video games. With avatars that look just like the players and have their stats. Sooo professional exy teams could have a video games.. and when Neil and Andrew went pro they would see their little video game selves

simonspear:

okay so listen:

andrew never pays attention to literally anything going on with his exy career

like seriously? he goes where they tell him and does what he’s contractually obligated to do

so when he had to wear a weird suit and pretend to block a bunch of fake shots he thought it was probably some weird form of monitoring his health or muscles

of course he doesn’t tell neil about it in their nightly skype calls becuase it’s unimportant in his mind

unknown to andrew, neil also did the same thing but doesn’t much care for video games so he also says nothing

basically a literal day after it’s happened they’ve both forgotten about it

but then the game comes out

and everyone starts tweeting them about it

and making funny vines with 6-foot whatever kevin day being checked by 5′0″” andrew minyard

(it’s probably some thing where you can just like assign the players any position for fun idk)

neil picks up on it an favorites a bunch of videos on twitter

(poor boy didn’t know other people could see his likes)

and of course matt calls neil the day it comes out

“neil! you didn’t tell me we’d both be in a video game together?!? how sick is that! you totally have to come over and play, bro”

basically neil loves it because he gets to play as andrew and ends up mimicking him as he does it

“my names andrew and i squish garbage in the can until it’s too full and i refuse to take it out”

“hey guys, watch out! i have the ball and i’m not afraid to beam it at your ankles if you look at me the wrong way!”

“i’m andrew and i pretend to hate the cats but wheni think neil’s not looking i make kissy noises at them and hold them in my arms”

“neil’s bothering me so i’m going to pretend he’s a vegetable and pretend he doesn’t exist”

of course andrew catches him doing it one time when neil thought he was home alone and was playing online with matt

(he was home alone but had jumped into a monologue as andrew and was too distracted to hear him walk in for his weekend visit)

of course andrew decides to get him back by doing the same thing as neil

“my name is neil and i’m an idiot who has no self preservation”

“watch out kevin, i’m here to steal your one true love away, the court”

“did you guys know that i leave my socks all over the apartment becuase that’s where they belong?”

it definitely turns into a way for them to get out their petty aggression on one another

and if one of the foxes just happens to post multiple videos of it online and create a small phenomena, then that’s between them and the thousands of views

crossroadswrite:

crossroadswrite:

phichit chulanont has a youtube account. there’s a lot of videos on it and he has a good number of subscribers.

he posts videos of practices, food vlogs, youtube tags, and random little videos he takes when he’s just out with his friends, or edits he made.

but the video with most views on his youtube channel is called “Yuuri Katsuki sneezing for twenty minutes” and it’s just a compilation spanning many years of yuuri katsuki kitten sneezing, before scrunching up his nose adorably and looking confused.

it has over 500,000 views.

sometimes people on the street point at yuuri and go “hey it’s the sneezing dude”

yuuri is Very Confused.

actually you know what, i’m not done. here are the Top 10 Videos in Phichit Chulanont’s Youtube Account (excluding the above), in no particular order:

best quality: his wiggles – it’s just a seven minutes and forty-three uninterrupted second compilation of yuuri katsuki wiggling happily looking like the most precious cinnamon roll in the world. there’s countless gifs of it as well as at least three reaction videos were somoen just starts crying because he’s so precious

Dance Workshop Vlog – which is just phichit vlogging a one day long dance workshop he was a part of with yuuri featuring a lot of dancing, a lot of shy smiley sweaty yuuri and their fanbase imploding when they danced together to smth vaguely smexy

i lost yuuri – which is a 12 minute long video of phichit and his friends looking for yuuri at a party. they find him and lose him several times, adn here’s a couple of things they find him doing: playing mario kart and winning, engaging in a push-up contest with a solo cup on his back against a shitton brickhouse of a man, three blocks down petting a dog because he saw someone drive by with the doggo in their car and chase it down, sitting on the windowsill in the window at a mcdonalds drivethrough as the person who is working there feeds him chicken nuggets

Yuuri Katsuki & Phichit Chulanont – King And The Skater Final Pair Skate – this one unintentionally sparked a fandom war bc some ppl declared yuuchit canon because LOOK HOW THE STARE LONGINGLY INTO EACH OTHER’S EYES THEY ARE IN LOVE!!! and the other part of the fandom was like ITS CALLED BEING FRIENDS STOP BEING FUCKING GROSS. but the most important thing is that one of the leads of the king and the skater tweeted about yuuri and phichit’s pair skate and phichit cries before framing the tweet and hanging it up on his wall

to brighten your day – which is a two minute compilation video of phichit saying “tatter tots” and yuuri falling over himself laughing for literally no other reason than the fact that the thinks the expression “tatter tots” is funny

Food Vlog #6 Best Moments – which has a full one minute compilation of yuuri gasping and going “dog!” and then a short few seconds of him petting the dog he found. everyone in phichit’s friend group making yummy sounds at food. (someone makes a compilation of just yuuri and the comment section is less than decent). a compilation of phichit calling for yuuri when he sees smth he wants to try and saying ”selfie!”. and a compilation of yuuri rating the food from a 1 to 10 scale in how much he wants to marry it.

How To Make Tea At 3 AM With Katsuki Yuuri – which he filmed when yuuri was a lil tipsy and needed hella sleep. it consists in yuuri explaining how to make tea, except after he puts the water on the stove he climbs on top of the dinner table, lays face down and starts having an existencial crises which consists in a lot of Revelations like “elephants can never skip rope and i think that’s really sad” to “life is meaningless and we are all going to die” to “do you think victor nikiforov is a trickster god sent to earth to mock my very existence??? bc his latest costume is too much and i am weak” before getting back up to pour himself a mug of tea and sit on the couch sipping it like nothing happened

Finals Mood – which is a compilation of all of his friends, including yuuri slamming their heads on the table and groaning, muttering noooooooo, having v short existencial crisis that always start with “what if i just quit university right now”, mixing energy drinks and coffee and chugging it down.

practice video #31 – in which phichit convinces yuuri to do his impression of victor nikiforov so yuuri skates backwards basically doing the hand gestures from that one rihanna gif and winking

My Boyfriend Does My Make Up Tag – in which phichit opens the video saying he doesn’t have a boyfriend but really wanted to do this so he invited yuuri to do his make up for him while he answers some twitter questions. their fanbase, predictably, implodes

inejofthewraith:

kevin day (disdainfully): lacrosse

Kevin and Neil HATE lacrosse more than life itself

Once, Andrew calls Exy ‘stickball’ and lacrosse ‘stickball on grass’

Kevin isn’t sure what he’s angrier at: the fact that Andrew called it stickball, or the fact that Andrew insinuated that lacrosse was the same as Exy when it obviously isn’t

Kevin criticizes the new Foxes by telling them they would be B-list lacrosse players. One boy bursts into tears.

In one memorable interview, Neil calls Riko the lead attacker of Edgar Allen’s lax team

Wymack is furious. Nicky is ecstatic

A lacrosse player: “I hope making fun of us makes you freaks feel better about your shitty lives and shitty team”

Neil: “I am sorry that you are stuck playing for a less exciting, less popular wannabe version of Exy. I am also sorry that your daddy wasted lots of money on Exy tutors trying to make you less horrible. It obviously failed, because you’re stuck with this pathetic excuse for a sport, and could never hope to be even a quarter the players we were. Clearly you’re projecting your bitterness on your own lack of talent, but that doesn’t give you an excuse to bad-mouth my team. You can kiss my ass and my championship trophy.”

Neil, on twitter, keeps liking and retweeting articles about why Exy is better than lacrosse. His PR team has given up trying to get him to stop

One brave reporter asks Kevin what will happen if his daughter doesn’t like Exy. Unfortunately, Kevin has had several stressful games and a couple of nightmares about the Nest; he’s too tired to control himself, so he says, “As long as she isn’t a lacrosse fan, we’ll figure something out.”

On some late-night practices, the lacrosse team swears they see a figure watching from the top of the bleachers, a black trench coat fluttering in the wind and a chess piece tattoo on his left cheekbone.

He watches scornfully for a few minutes before turning away.

“Sometimes, when I feel bad about myself as a striker, I like to watch them practice. Then I realize that I could be much, much worse,” he tells Jean in one video call.

the foxhole meme pt. 2

jeremynox:

pt 1!

aaron: oh my god kevin can we please watch something that’s not exy-

kevin, scandalised: i will not have this blasphemy in my household

nicky narrates kevin’s morning routine with his best david attenborough impression

’-and here we see the rare stickballus obssesivus foraging for foo-OW KEVIN NO DONT THROW THE TOASTE-‘

andrew: i hate neil

some hater: yeah he sucks

andrew: come the fuck at me

allison: alright neil, and the second rule of fashion is that crocs are banned

neil: why would I want to wear reptiles on my feet

allison:

nicky, dramatically: my world is falling to pieces everyone hates me and i am a wreck

aaron: k

nicky: THATS NOT WHAT YOURE SUPPOSED TO SAY

nicky: don’t worry matt andrew shows affection in his own special way

andrew: josten i’m going to kill you one day.

neil, not looking up from his phone: k babe

nicky: see? true love

aaron replaces some of kevin’s veggies with plastic toys when he’s annoyed and just. waits

foxes: do anything

aaron: i hate this fucking family

neil: matt can we go im tire-

matt: HI TIRED IM DAD

nicky replaces all the extra rackets with baseball bats and kevin nearly beheads him with one

nicky: hEY SLOW DOWN HENRY VIII

kevin: HISTORY REFERENCES WONT SAVE YOU NOW

matt: hi honey

dan: hey sweetie

matt: no sorry i was talking to neil

dan: oh same

jos-10:

neil + the foxes with pop culture references

allison teaches him ‘bae’

“it’s basically like saying babe”

the next day he calls andrew bae in front of the foxes

andrew spits out his drink and allison makes 600$

neil hears matt say yikes

after that,

it’s nonstop yikes from neil

literally anything will happen

“yikes”

andew: king puked on the carpet, neil

neil: oh, yikes

andrew goes as far as to say he’ll duct tape neil’s mouth shut

andrew: just. shut. up.

neil: yikes, someone’s in a pissy mood

(andrew locks him on the roof for 20 minutes)

allison calls someone hunty during a pr conference

wymack dies a little inside

but then. neil starts saying it

and like… not ironically… not properly…. he jsut says it. all. the. time.

literally at the end of every sentence

kevin: neil, practice tonight at 10

neil: ok, hunty

andrew has an aneurysm

allison literally laughs for 15 years

(they start calling each other huntys)

(and thats how the word gets banned in the stadium altogether)

twitter is the culprit who gets both kevin and neil to say slay

like whenever neil gets a goal

“SLAY NEIL”

accompanied by a wink

(kevin thinks he’s doing it ironically)

(but he’s become addicted.)

(neil doesn’t know what doing something ironically means)

(he jsut likes the way it sounds, apparently)

whenever andrew hears either of them

he just leaves.

flat out. walks out of goal.

bonus:

whenever neil leaves the dorm for a run

andrew will very quietly whisper

“gotta blast”

jostyards:

headcanon: andrew hates bugs

+ like loathes them
+ specifically centipedes and spiders because “nothing should have that many legs”
+ every time he sees a bug in his home he flinches, backs away, and tells it to fuck off for good measure
+ and then continues to COMPLETELY ignore the spot of the house it’s in until he’s sure it’s bound to be gone
+ once he didn’t go near the toaster in the corner of the kitchen for eight straight days because there was a spider living there and he refused to ask neil to kill it
+ the only reason he ended up going back is because neil finally decided to check out what was wrong
+ found the spider and smashed it with a shoe
+ which he had to physically show to andrew
+ who kept insisting the spider had nothing to do with it
+ neil knows better than to ask about it
+ the same cannot be said for nicky, defender of all bugs who also squeals every time he sees them
+ one day he asks andrew about the thing with the bugs even though kevin and neil both shot him looks that clearly said “don’t ask”
+ of course nicky asks
+ andrew just ignores him at first and pointedly directs his attention to kevin to call him stupid for something
+ and nicky’s like, “they’re not doing anything wrong andrew they’re just bugs”
+ “first of all, they are unwelcome guests in my home, just like yourself”
+ “second, legs.”
+ nicky and kevin leave not too long after because now andrew is in an even more sour mood and neil isn’t even /trying/ to help
+ later neil asks andrew about it
+ because he’s curious and also he finds it kind of endearing
+ (because scary andrew is afraid of BUGS and that boy is nothing if not a collection of endless surprises neil aches to understand)
+ he expects andrew to brush off the topic or ignore him
+ he doesn’t
+ instead andrew has this expression that can be explained as nothing other than “disgruntled”
+ “the legs”
+ hes practically grinding his teeth when he says it, like it’s something personally offensive
+ “nothing can get away with having that many legs /and/ breaking and entering.”
+ “one is a personal attack on me and my person and my home. the other is a felony”
+ neil CANNOT stop smiling
+ he kills every bug in the house without question after that