aceaaroniscanon:

i am assuming all of these consecutive messages came from the same person and honestly, as someone who has nothing better or productive to do in her time, i agree

apologies in advance but, the story behind andrew’s deaf ear will have to come at a later date. like the andreil. this one’s just pure comedy. i’m sorry to disappoint

(previous post)

• that weekend, neil comes into the minyard-hemmick household a man and comes out a slightly more knowledgeable man who has a penchant for peach thievery
• let’s look at the facts:
• he’s running a little late bc he had to give kevin a tongue-lashing for forgetting to take out the trash when trash day was yesterday, twllt din
• focal leat
• oh, real mature, kevin
• anyway, neil got the text of the address about half an hour ago and he kind of maybe got lost on the way because damn, the american suburbs and their stupid cul-de-sacs and nice parts of town
• when he gets to the minyard-hemmick residence, everything is prosperous, and andrew actually opens the door on the first knock
• hey, people wait on knocks all the time. expecting guests is very hard.
• they’re as civil as they could get. 
• neil apologizes for being late and asks if he could come in 
• andrew leaves the door open and stomps down the hall 
• neil tries not to be a little against not leaving his shoes out by the doorway, but he has to Appear Normal

Keep reading