neil josten: If no one comes from the future to stop you from doing it then how bad of a decision can it really be?
aaron minyard: I’m the better twin.
andrew minyard: Like hell you are, I’m the superior one, you’re just a rough sketch. A replica. A bad copy. Why can’t I curse in this, you dipshit.
kevin day: High school is like riding a bike but the bike is on fire, the ground is on fire, everything’s on fire ‘cause you’re in hell.
nicky hemmick: I would like to thank my arms, for always being by side. My legs, for always supporting me, & my fingers… because I can always count on them.
dan wilds: Hannah Montana said nobody’s perfect, but here I am.
matt boyd: Rain drop, drop top, all I do is eat non stop.
allison reynolds: “No, Allison, your senior quote can’t be ‘fries before guys’.” – Dad.
renee walker: This wasn’t like High School Musical at all.
jeremy knox: I want abs…olutely all the pasta and breadsticks.
jean moreau: Just give me my diploma and pronounce my name right.
sara alvarez: Of course I dress well, I didn’t spend all that time in the closet for nothing.
laila dermott: If you can’t blow them away with your brilliance, baffle them with your bullshit.
+ wymack screaming in the background because his team is fucking stupid
took a DNA test and found out I’m 100% back on my bullshit
andrew minyard: people always shoot down my ideas and I’m sick of it. two sentences in and everyone’s already shouting “what the fuck that’s illegal” or “you can’t do that” let me talk dear god
kevin day: mid life crisis ? no no, mid DAY crisis, happens every day
nicky hemmick: if u can’t handle me at my worst, u don’t deserve me at my longest yeah boi ever
matt boyd: my tombstones gonna say “ripped in peace” as i flex forever in my tiny coffin
dan wilds: Girls aren’t playing hard to get…they don’t want you.
allison reynolds: the bible says adam and eve so I did both
renee walker: sometimes ‘brb’ stands for ‘be ready bitch’ so you have to be careful
aaron minyard: do you ever have the urge to tell someone to shut the fuck up even when they aren’t talking
david wymack: im adopting everyone im tired of seeing people suffer bad experiences due to their shitty parents. i am your dad now
betsy dobson: pick your battles. pick… pick fewer battles than that. put some battles back. that’s too many
abby winfield: my transformation into a bitter angry old woman is almost complete
+ BONUS
jeremy knox: i told a lady i really liked ghosts and she said “are you being serious or are you just saying that in case on is listening”
jean moreau: je suis sick of this shit
sara alvarez: my body is 80% respect women juice, the other 20% is im gay juice
laila dermott: people with the same name as me are cute but they need to remember who is in charge
erik klose: gayer than intended: an autobiography
riko moriyama: i identify as an inconvenience to the world
casual reminder that i wrote an 90-page novel when i was eight about a deranged pensioner who wants to take over the world and return everything to “The Good Old Days”, and which included such choice elements as
a really neurotic vegetarian vampire
alice cooper, for no apparent reason
an evil supermodel called miranda goth
three nine-year-olds climbing mount everest in diving helmets
the entire population of scotland appearing out of literally nowhere to help defeat the antagonists
“you can take our lives but you cannot take our trousers"
a few people have been asking me to post extracts from this so uh
here’s something
in 20 years i’ll be telling people how i first heard of the best novel ever written when it was a 500 notes post on tumblr
casual reminder that this is now, by (un)popular demand, an ebook! so if you’d like to fund my lifelong desire to own an army of trained meerkats and help me pay off my student loans, feel free to drop some shinies my way. or just reblog this post. that works too
it’s only 2.99 and i bought it without a second thought
Nothing but My Aching Soul 