the most unrealistic thing about tfc????? five main characters speak at least two languages and none of them ever forgot a word in one of them. are u telling me, an offended bilingual, that neil josten never forgot the word for sock in french? “like…a fucking glove for your foot, kevin.” are u telling me nicky hemmick didn’t once forget how to say lawyer in german so he said “i need to pay a bitch to fight for me.” are u telling me neil josten never meant to tell andrew minyard after a good game “it gives me goosebumps to watch you play like that” but didn’t know the right way to say it in russian so said instead “it physically ails me to see you do that” which is…………….not nearly as romantic. is that what you’re saying.
Ok but sometimes you forget words in your mother tongue as well and can only remember them in one of the other languages, so just imagine Neil forgetting the simplest English word but knowing it both in French and German and being utterly frustrated cause whoever he’s talking too doesn’t understand him and Andrew isn’t cooperating in helping him translate. Also Kevin half-yelling at one of the new recruits but then stopping abruptly in the middle of a sentence cause he can’t find the right word in the right language and the new recruit is terrified by Kevin just staring at him more and more angrily with each second that passes.
!!ok also read the coin toss fics if u haven’t already bc they deal w the rivalry and are gr9
so it started when they were still at palmetto
during a press conference they got put on together (who did this oh god)
(allison and nicky its all a conspiracy)
nicky said “be gay my sons”
so neil andrew were really decidedly not gay or relationshippy at ALL
there was like a foot between them
they kept interrupting each other
andrew at one point shoves neil backwards (gently ofc but neil makes a Big Deal out of it bc he’s a goddamn drama queen)
(also one of the reporters was just getting too close to him andrew wasn’t having it neil is his boyfriend no he’s not what)
they’re only like five questions in and neil sasses andrew for standing so far from him
“god andrew, i know, i know. it must be so hard to stand within a foot of me. oh gods! what cruel torture! do you always act like a brat like this or is it just around me?” then to the cameras “he’s the biggest man child ive ever met” back to andrew he says (in the fakest whisper ever) “could you act like the grown ass adult you actually for once in your pathetic midgety life? act professional, we’re teammates, at least make an effort to pretend you don’t abhor my every breath.”
wymack says pathetic midgety life at one point right?
andrew snarls and storms out
(450% josten what the fuck that was so hot)
the next morning everything is like “Tension among the Palmetto state Foxes? What this could mean for their season.”
“No surprises here! The two most temperamental Palmetto State Foxes have a rivalry.”
neil agreeing to go on celebrity mean tweets once he goes pro and he’s reading some out and it’s shit like this:
“i have started a go-fund me to fly neil josten to antarctica and leave him there. still need five more dollars.”
”neil josten is one of the world’s most useless creations since the sloth”
“neil josten has such a big mouth on him i could replace my goalie racquet with him and no one would notice”
“@.neiljos10 what is red and blue all over and can’t score?”
and neil’s like haha so fu- oh shit are these all from andrew’s account??
why stop with neil, my brain thought at 2:40 am:
kevin: [reading] kevin day always looks like he has an exy racquet up his ass
kevin: ..you say that like it’s a bad thing
andrew: [reading] andrew minyard’s attitude is all an act to compensate for his height
andrew: does twitter user “exy_is_sexy” feel like testing out this theory?
nicky: [reading] nicky hemmick looks like he cries after sex
nicky: IT WAS ONE TIME
matt: [reading] matt boyd is tall and won’t date me and for this reason the ncaa should suspend him
matt: wow they really went there
allison: [reading] allison reynolds is a bitch
allison:thank you
No, but like imagine this happening right after the olympics when they win their gold medals, right? So they come home and they’re like superstars for a couple of months. The whole American exy team is, but especially Neil, Andrew, Kevin, and Matt because of their connection/friendship or whatever. The media probably calls them the Fox Four or something cutesy like that, and they do basically every talk show imaginable.
And every interview is incredibly entertaining because Kevin tries to be nice and professional but Neil and Matt always call him on his bullshit and every time Neil opens up his mouth to talk trash Andrew breaks his glowering silence to deliver some savage comeback at him that makes Matt and all of the hosts/audiences die with laughter. Laughing Matt becomes a meme.
And Neil and Andrew are out now because one of their jealous nosy teammates sold them out to the paps after it was announced that they made court and every talk show host who is brave enough tries to get them to talk about their relationship and they always refuse, BUT MATT AND KEVIN HAVE YEARS WORTH OF DIRT ON THEM OKAY. So like every relationship question turns into Matt taking a guess and Kevin confirming or denying.
Matt: Well I’d say Andrew wears the pants in the relationship, but like…I’ve literally seen Neil work miracles just by asking so idk
Kevin: It’s Neil.
*Camera pans to Neil smirking ever so slightly while Andrew rolls his eyes*
Nothing but My Aching Soul 