wearenotmonsters:

andrew lives by a certain philosophy that is more of a statement he maintains the truth in: there is very little that andrew minyard needs, and even less that he wants. this is the closest thing to religion that andrew knows; his faith is unshakable. 

then a blue-eyed boy with a smile full of lies and lifetime of secrets stumbles into andrew’s life, bleeding and desperate. this is the moment, the resounding cleaving of before and after.

before he could list the things he wanted on one hand. clear, concise, and, most of all, not messy. he wants chocolate ice cream, cigarettes, alcohol, and his family. simple.

after he can’t number them, his wants are too many for that. he wants neil. he wants neil’s chest beneath his hand; he wants neil’s pulse on his lips; he wants neil’s wide-blown eyes on him; he wants neil’s legs slotted between his; he wants neil to stay. it’s a mess that andrew can’t sort through. every time andrew sees neil his list of wants grows longer. everytime neil speaks andrew wants to make him quiet. 

it’s a flood in his mind, and the dam he builds isn’t enough. the floodgates break open on a rooftop and it all that he can do, kissing neil. and oh, for the first time in months his head is quiet.

a world alone – Chapter 1 – ephemeralsky – All For the Game – Nora Sakavic [Archive of Our Own]

Chapters: ¼
Fandom: All For the Game – Nora Sakavic
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Characters: Andrew Minyard, Nicky Hemmick, Neil Josten, Kevin Day, David Wymack, Renee Walker (All For The Game), Laila Dermott, Alvarez (All For the Game), Jean Moreau, Betsy Dobson, Original Characters
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe – High School, Slow Burn, terrible flirting between adult men, POV Andrew Minyard
Summary:

“It will not be cheap,” Andrew finally says.

“I know,” Wymack says. “Two bottles of Johnnie Walker sound good to you?”

“Four,” Andrew says without missing a beat. He thinks about having to deal with Nicky later on, about the additional work he has to do, and decides that he will not do anything for less.

“Three,” Wymack argues.

“Four or we have no deal.”

Wymack mutters something about blood-sucking hooligans under his breath before he concedes with a, “Fine.”

(or: a High School AU where only some of them are high-schoolers)

a world alone – Chapter 1 – ephemeralsky – All For the Game – Nora Sakavic [Archive of Our Own]

Andrew wants to kiss Neil.
Correction: Andrew wants to kiss Neil’s scarred cheeks.
It starts with Andrew coming to a realization.
While they were on the roof watching the last light of the day draining away, Andrew realized he felt calm. It was different from his usual kind of calm detachment, because he wasn’t distancing himself from anything. There was the purple hues in the gamut of the sky, the smudges of fading orange from the sun, the weight of Neil’s head on his shoulder, the warmth of Neil’s body leaning against his, and he felt – soft. At ease.
It made him angry.
He had shoved Neil away and left the roof. Neil kept his distance, allowing Andrew space without asking for any explanation. It made Andrew angrier.
Not unkindly, Bee told him, it’s because you’re unused to this.
Andrew didn’t tell her, there is no this. He told her, I want to try to be gentle. But I don’t think I am capable of it.
She told him, you are. She told him again, Andrew, you are.
Andrew has kissed other parts of Neil that aren’t his lips. His hipbone, his thighs, his navel. Neil has kissed other parts of Andrew too. His forearms, his chest, and of course, his neck.  
But Andrew has never kissed any other parts of Neil’s face, and he realizes that he wants to. He wants to press his lips to the pleats of knife scars on his right cheek, to the whorl of burn marks on his left cheek, to the tip of his freckled nose. He’s dug his teeth into the defined corner of Neil’s jaw, but he wants to kiss it too.
In the dorm room, when they are by themselves, Andrew tells Neil, I want to try something.
Putting his pencil down and closing his textbook, Neil tells Andrew, okay.
In the bedroom, Andrew says, I want to try something, but I need you to close your eyes.
Neil looks at him, then says, okay.
Andrew looks at him, then closes the space between them. The light from the bedside table skims off Neil’s eyelashes and splatters over his skin in gold.
Andrew asks, yes or no?
With his eyes closed, Neil says, yes.
Andrew tucks Neil’s hair behind an ear, leans forward with his chin tilted, and kisses Neil on his cheek. He feels the bob of muscle under his lips, but Neil keeps his eyes closed. Andrew strokes his thumb over the spot he just kissed, and thinks, yes.
He shifts a little and kisses the knot of pink skin on Neil’s other cheek. He does it once, twice, thrice. He does it again and again, each kiss softer than the last.  
He falls back flat on his feet. He didn’t realize that he was standing on his tiptoes.
He tells Neil, you can open your eyes.
Neil opens them, blinking slowly, eyelashes fluttering.
He asks, may I?
Andrew nods.
Neil raises his hands and cups Andrew’s face. The tips of his fingers glide into Andrew’s hair. The blueness of his eyes is annihilating.
He asks, may I?
Andrew says, yes.
Neil leans forward, and kisses Andrew on his forehead.
Eyes falling shut, Andrew exhales softly. 

He thinks, yes. 

spanglebangle:

@hazylucozade replied
to your post: Hey so I really want to write but I’m hitting a…

andrew and neil visit palmetto state a
few years after graduating? maybe sneak onto the roof?

Neil smiled from the doorway as he
watched Andrew saunter his way to the microphone setup by the computer running
the screen projection, amidst the wild applause of the hundreds of students
crammed into the lecture hall.

Andrew’s eyes flicked his way as he
clipped on the small microphone and tapped a few keys on the computer to load
up his presentation. Neil grinned back at him and offered a thumbs-up. Andrew didn’t
respond other than a quick huff that only barely got picked up by the microphone.
Then he turned back to face the excited crowd and waited for them to quiet
down.

“Hello,” he began in a neutral tone,
regarding them as if they were no more interesting or threatening than any
opposing strikers on the court. “My name is Andrew Minyard, and I’ve been asked
to participate in this alumni week event to talk about the degree and thesis I
completed here ten years ago. I will not be answering any questions about Exy,
the pro league or the Olympic team, and refuse to do any autographs or anything
of that nature – if you’re here for that, get out now.”

Neil covered a grin behind his hand at
the shocked silence that rang out from the crowd. A handful of sheepish
students skittered out the doors, looking embarrassed.

“Right,” Andrew said once they left. “Through
the Exy scholarship headed by the David Wymack Initiative, I majored in Criminology
with a focus on juvenile conviction and mental health, and minored in psychology.
My final year thesis was about the disproportionate convictions and harsher sentencing
of juveniles from the foster care system, and the prevalence of child abuse and
mental health issues in these people. I will be answering questions on these
topics at the end.”

Neil’s smile stayed firmly in place as he
watched Andrew give his lecture with an easy nonchalance, walking lazily to and
fro across the front of the lecture hall and clicking through his slides. His voice
was calm, his hands were relaxed, his eyes swept the room as if it were all so
easy for him to say. Only Neil knew the stress he’d been holding for the past
fortnight as he’d planned his talk, how little sleep he’d gotten the previous
night. Although he was far from harm and those dangers now, talking openly
about them still held power over his fears and nightmares. But he was calm and
unruffled, more professional than he ever was with press after games. Perhaps
more cold and removed than he had been in a long time, but the students didn’t
know him enough to recognise it as a sign of tension.

Neil was very proud.

When Andrew finished most of an hour later, the students
gave him a near standing ovation, a couple of whistles and whoops thrown in.
They seemed to enjoy his darkly sarcastic way of discussing their subject and
the painfully blunt delivery of awful statistics, and the quickly-skated-over
allegories of his own childhood. Neil watched Andrew blink up at them for a
solid minute, surprise in the perfect freeze of his body like a deer in
headlights. He glanced over at Neil, who nodded and gave him another thumbs up.

He watched Andrew give a jerky nod, an awkward “Thank you,”
and open the floor for questions. There weren’t all that many and soon he was
unclipping the microphone to more applause and heading Neil’s way. He caught
Neil’s sleeve on his way past and tugged him out of the corridors and away from
the students until they were in open air again. Neil watched him squint against
the sudden light, his eyebrows and mouth all scrunched up, his hair riffling in
the wind. He took a slow, deep breath and released it. He still had some pale,
milky-coffee freckles across his forehead and nose from their vacation to Spain
the previous month.

“Okay?” Neil asked quietly.

“Mmhmm. Could do with a drink, my throat’s sore.”

“Let’s see if the campus coffee house is still around then.”

Andrew grunted his approval and casually tangled their
fingers together as they walked.

“That was wonderful, by the way,” Neil made sure to tell him
as they got lost a little – new buildings, different trees, different paint
jobs, old buildings gone or remodelled, new sculptures and altered greens. This
was no longer their campus.

Andrew huffed, because he still had an issue with even
indirect praise, but squeezed Neil’s fingers anyway. “When do you have to give
the Exy talk?”

“About an hour.”

They managed to find the coffee house after a bit more
wandering, and secured a smoothie for Neil and some iced juice blend for
Andrew. Andrew seemed happy enough to stay there, watching out the windows with
their feet lightly nudging each other every few minutes, but Neil was getting
antsy. Andrew gave in with a sigh and allowed himself to be pulled towards the
Foxhole Court.

It rose up unapologetically still, as proud as ever. More so,
with the boom of Exy’s popularity in recent years and the increased funding PSU
had enjoyed with not one but three alumni on the US Olympic squad. There were
more food outlets and more merch stands, and Neil navigated through them in
wonder, as they no longer had access codes for the athletes’ entrance. It was
so blindingly orange and white Neil’s eyes started to burn.

They made their way to the lounge and Neil had to stop and
remind himself to breathe.

Dan’s tradition of putting up photos of the team had long
surpassed her tenure as captain, it seemed. One entire wall was chock-full of
snaps and candids of all the Foxes that had ever been. Neil stared in awe at
all the unknown faces smiling out at them – all lost causes given new hope and
new ambition, happy and surrounded by family. He drifted towards a particular
section in a daze, Andrew’s palm warm against his own.

There they were, his family. They all looked so young, so
coltish and wild. He had to smile at the ones of the twins; they looked so soft
and round to his eyes, knowing the hard, clean edges that had emerged in later
adulthood and the athletic profession acting on Andrew, and the way making
life-saving decisions under extreme pressure had tempered Aaron’s rough edges
into diamond self-confidence rather than bitter rage. He saw himself, so small
and young and skinny and afraid, then scarred and smiling and at ease with his
new life. It was startling to see such young,
unfinished versions of his family again. He’d gotten so used to them as they
grew up together, growing into their looks and confidence and finding more
permanent homes and lives and bringing partners and children and pets into
their family. God, he’d almost forgotten Allison used to wear those rhinestone
jeans (she’d scream if she saw them now), or that the twins had floppy emo
fringes, or Nicky’s high-waisted jean shorts and tiny tees, or Matt’s frosted
tips. He’d forgotten Kevin’s shiny tracksuits for morning runs and hangover
days, the clips and mini-bows Renee used to wear in her hair, Dan’s long-sleeve
shirts under dungarees.

He barely recognised those kids anymore.

Andrew squeezed his hand again to get his attention and
pointed at another wall that made Neil’s breath vanish altogether.

It was even more gloriously orange than the rest of the
stadium, with the neon windbreakers of every previous Fox in its own display
frame. Some of them, like Gordon 06 had
small black dots in the corners. His eyes found Josten 10 and Minyard 03 without
difficulty. He clutched Andrew’s hand hard enough to make his knuckles creak,
but Andrew didn’t pull away.

Those days felt a million years away, yet close enough in
this lounge that he half expected Kevin to come in and start stressing over
Riko, or Allison to be sitting popping gum on the couch, or Aaron to groan at Nicky
for the latest innuendo. He felt a breath away from the knowledge his
clock was ticking down and he was due to die in a few short months. He was a
blink from hair dye and clumsy coloured contacts.

Andrew said his name and tethered him back to the present –
where they lived together, played on two teams together, owned cats and an
apartment together, had cordial dinners with Aaron and Katelyn once a month,
let Kevin crash on their couch when he was in town, Skyped with Renee and
Allison, smoked out the bedroom window after sex, met up with Dan and Matt at
the weekends, cooked meals together, visited Nicky and Erik in Stuttgart over
the holidays, held interviews with the press every game, bickered over how best
to spend their extra earnings, watched TV on the couch with the cats, attended
charity fundraisers, kept each other sane in airports, chatted with Abby and
Bee and Wymack every few weeks, woke up together every morning warm and safe
and content…

“We’ve come so far,” Neil said thickly in response to Andrew’s
questioning look.

Andrew’s reply was a slow, fierce kiss that was as much
admission – yes, we have – as it was
a promise. His hands on Neil’s waist, pulling him as close as they could get,
their mouths knowing each other so completely after all these years of small
meetings and partings, heat in Neil’s stomach and chest and burning him right
down to his bones.

“You know,” a dry voice interrupted them, “I thought when
you assholes graduated I’d finished walking in on you sucking face in my
lounge.”

Neil turned and grinned cheekily at their grizzled bear of a
coach. “Just for old time’s sake.”

“Ha,” Wymack snorted, and gave them both a tight smile. “At
least you’re both in one piece. Like the lounge?”

“We love it,” Neil sighed. Andrew rolled his eyes but snaked
an arm around Neil’s hips.

“You’re getting sentimental in your old age, Coach,” Andrew
said. “I’m sure that’s a symptom of something sinister.”

“So are you, sunshine,” Wymack grinned back, looking at how
Andrew held Neil close to his side. “It’s good to see. Will you be keeping me
company while the junkies play around?”

“Obviously,” Andrew replied derisively. “Who else would be
willing to shit-talk all the latest movies with me?”

“Damn right. Neil, the spare gear for you is in the usual
place, and the team’s waiting on the court. Go show them how the Foxes are
Olympian material, huh?”

“Yes, Coach,” Neil smiled. He kissed Andrew’s temple, leaned
into Wymack’s quick hug as he passed, and made his way back to the beautiful wooden
majesty of the Foxhole Court once more.

hxrryspotter:

I prompted myself two weeks ago with a tired Neil and bridal style carrying while talking to @petalloso and this is what happened. pls excuse any ooc-ness its my first time eep

Neil yawned as he watched Kevin take another shot at the goal.

All he wanted to do was sit down and rest his shaky legs but as soon as it even looked like he was about to, Kevin would shoot him a glare, so Neil silently stayed on his feet.

The sky was starting to lighten, telling Neil that they’ve been practicing for far too long.

Keep reading

aminiyard:

based off a scene from sugar, spice, and something nice by ephemeralsky i love it please read it

I AM SHOOKETH

LIKE. I CANT EVEN COMPUTE THIS??? THIS IS THE FIRST TIME SOMEONE MADE FANART BASED OFF OF SOMETHING I WROTE????? WHAT EVEN

I CANT COMPREHEND

I SAW THIS ON SMEONE’S BLOG AND I WAS LIKE ‘haha this is p funny’ and then i was like ‘waIT I KNOW THIS SCENE’

ASLKJASLJKHAKS;KJABSAS; THANK YOU FOR DRAWING THIS. THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL IVE BEEN STARING AT IT FOR 5 HOURS NOW AND IVE BEEN CRYING FOR 10

GUYS PLS LOOK AT THIS AMAZINHG FANART 

Neil’s Halloween debacle

stellamai:

It’s me, back with another ridiculous ficlet. You can blame Una for this one. She reached the point in The Raven King (can you believe she’s taken about a month to get here) where Nicky tells Neil not to trust him to pick a Halloween costume because he’ll “probably dress [him] as a French maid or something,” and immediately requested ((read: demanded)) a ficlet in which Nicky does just that. So, here it is. Rather than doing a canon-divergent situation, I wrote something that’s set a way into the future where everyone is happy. Also, Andreil’s cats feature, in Halloween costumes no less, because obviously I had to get them in somewhere. You’re … welcome?


“So, Neil,” asks Nicky airily, his voice crackling slightly through the phone. “What are you planning on wearing for Halloween? Are you and Andrew coordinating outfits?”

Neil glances at Andrew who, as usual, isn’t paying the slightest bit of attention, more preoccupied with trying to scoop rapidly-melting ice cream onto a wafer of insufficient structural integrity. An autumn breeze does nothing to disturb the sodden leaf piles outside, and a light drizzle patters against the large windows of the diner. Neil would wonder at Andrew’s food choice if he didn’t know him so well.

“I don’t know,” replies Neil eventually, gaze still stuck on Andrew’s ice cream. Andrew freezes for a second, eyes flicking to Neil before he stuffs the wafer in his mouth. He pushes the bowl towards Neil slightly, eyebrow raised slightly in question, and Neil shakes his head in response, grinning slightly as he turns his attention back to Nicky. “We haven’t talked about it.”

Andrew narrows his eyes momentarily before deciding the conversation isn’t worth his time and going back to his sundae. Beside him sit Kevin and Thea, who have been conversing in hushed tones since practice ended. The last Neil was able to pick up, they were discussing the US Court lineup for the Olympics qualifying matches; he highly doubts that Nicky’s Halloween plans will be of any consequence to them right now. Neil himself has half a mind to hang up the phone and join their conversation. He has a few ideas on which backliners should be working with Andrew if they want an airtight defence line.

“How about you let me sort something out?” asks Nicky, and Neil doesn’t like his tone of voice. It may be the distortion, but he sounds suspiciously sly.

“Andrew won’t go for that.”

“Just for you, then.”

Neil sighs. Nicky’s not going to back down in a hurry, and he’d rather not be on the phone for hours. “Okay, fine.”

Nicky emits a delighted sound that Neil can’t describe as anything other than a squeal. “I can’t wait. Our first Halloween in Berlin together. It’s going to be so much fun. I’ve been getting Erik to help plan our route for the evening. He says there’s a bar that serves eyeballs in all their drinks on Halloween. I mean, I don’t think they’re real eyeballs -”

“Can’t wait, Nicky,” interjects Neil, mindful of Andrew’s now-empty bowl and Kevin’s itch to spend as much time on the court as possible before he’s torn away from it for a long weekend. “We’ll see you in a few days.”

“Bis dann! I’ll have an incredible costume waiting,” sings Nicky, and the line clicks dead. 

Keep reading

philosophium:

this is the fic I promised @requiemofkings to go along with their beautiful art


Andrew might be the only person in the room not uncomfortable in the sudden silence. Neil is on his feet, eyes too wild, too tipped towards turning into Nathaniel. He is a study in battle, poised to run but ready to stand and fight with everything he has. The disjointed team that has become Neil’s family stares back at him, everyone facing down the front of his fury, with Andrew at his back for support. If he needs it. This isn’t an argument Andrew wants to be part of if he can avoid it. He gave up fighting for himself years ago.

Matt is the first one to try for words. “Neil, we didn’t –”

“You did,” Neil bites, and he doesn’t stop when he makes his best friend flinch. “You meant it. He’s not a fucking monster.”

It looks like Matt wants to get to his feet but is thinking better of it. It’s rare that Neil goes off like this, at his family least of all, but it’s human instinct to not look threatening when a wild dog’s hackles are raised.

The others let Matt carry the conversation. Smart, but it’s not going to do them any good. “Okay, Neil, we’ll stop calling him that.”

The harsh laugh that froths at Neil’s mouth fights to realign his rapid breathing. “Will you, though? It’s been years, and no matter how much he does to prove you wrong, you still can’t see past your hazy impressions of him.”

Keep reading

cigarettesmokeandexyracquets:

The words “don’t make me beg” cause Andrew to freeze. They’re not whine out in frustration or passion but breathed out small and anxious, soft and brittle and vulnerable. Andrew looks up and sees the almost panic on Neil’s face, the half-hidden shame that rests there, and removes his hands from Neil’s body. 

“You don’t have to stop,” Neil says, or starts to say but then thinks better of it. He takes a deep breath and pulls his hands down to his chest, clasping them prayer like in the way Andrew knows is Neil wanting to reach out but not. He’s almost thankful, almost angry, doesn’t know what or why he feels so he sits back and creates a pocket of distance between them.

“What’s wrong?” Andrew asks. They’re better at this now, talking instead of just hoping the other will understand. 

“It’s stupid,” Neil says, chewing on his lip.

Andrew raises an eyebrow and waits patiently for Neil to work it out.

Neil closes his eyes and they both wait until their breathing evens back out. Neil reaches for his shirt Andrew had tossed to the floor and Andrew gets it for him. Neil shrugs into the soft cotton like armor and twists his hands into the hems. “Sometimes when you get me laid out like that, it’s like you want to hear me beg,” Neil says. He won’t quite make eye contact and Andrew hates it but he won’t touch Neil right now.

Andrew pushes out a harsh breath through his nose. Truth for truth, words laid open and bare. “I like to hear you ask for it,” Andrew says. It’s like confirmation that Neil wants him, that his yes is genuine and consent is still there. 

“I can’t do that for you,” Neil says and his jaw clenches.

Andrew reaches out a hand, palm inches away from Neil’s cheek in askance but doesn’t touch. Neil breathes out, relieved and exasperated all at once, and leans into the hand. Andrew’s thumb strokes over rough skin gently and he guides Neil into looking at him.

“Why?” Andrew asks, because there’s more that Neil isn’t saying. Things he needs to know so he doesn’t trigger accidental panic like this again. Andrew has always been careful about not breaking his toys.

“In Baltimore,” Neil says, grimacing around the words like they hurt coming out, “Lola made me beg in that car. She made me ask her not to hurt me, not to hurt you. It’s not the same, but…”

But it is, and it’s something Andrew is intimately familiar with. “Okay,” Andrew says, sliding his hand back to cup the back of Neil’s neck.

“Just like that?” Neil asks, but he already knows the answer. Here, in this bed in Columbia, two years and 500 miles away from Baltimore, Neil is safe.

“Just like that,” Andrew says, and presses their foreheads together.