I really think just dismissing neil as stupid is a disservice to his character because…..he really isnt? He’s not even really an idiot around people he’s just literally never encountered people that dont want to hurt him b4 and is working off of practically no base of reference.
Not to mention mary definitely conditioned him to be codependant and believe he’s completely useless on his own. Like he’s a deeply traumatised teenager who’s been raised his whole life to believe he needs somone to tell him what to do because he’s worthless on his own and I think that colours a hell of a lot of how he thinks of his own competence outside of exy.
Also neil makes stupid decisions not bc he doesnt know how to make better safer ones bc he does he just doesnt want to. Neil Josten is not dependent on Andrew for survival in the slightest. Andrew gave neil an anchor and a key but neil could have and would have survived on his own. He stays with andrew because he wants to certainly not because he needs to and I think that was a first (seconds rlly bc yknow Nicky) for andrew to have someone stay and keep staying just cos they want to spend time with him.
Just yeah neil makes stupid choices and isnt great in non hostile situations but he’s not stupid ya feel?
Ngl it highkey bothers me when people dont ‘count’ neil in the same way they do renee and andrew. As if neil would have been able to survive at all if he wasnt just as brutally efficient as them. Imo its not that neil cant fight its more that he doesnt know how to fight without the intent to end the threat permanently. The idea that neil who was trained in one form of fighting or another literally his whole life couldn’t at the very least hold his own agaist them seems a little insulting.
Like the two biggest instances of neil being hurt in any significant manner are both because he let them happen for the sake of others.
Just the idea that neil is defenceless without Andrew really doesn’t sit right with me. Especially with what we know about Neil’s training with a knife and his mother’s….everything. Particularly when Andrew only has to physically protect neil once in all three books.
That being said neil is not a Brawler like I doubt his punches are Powerfull like andrews but I feel like hes also more strategic in a fight and knows how to make them damn well count he’s fast and can be ruthless as all hell so it makes sense to me ig
Although it is very true that neil is better at starting fights than finishing them. Because he is an idiot who doesnt decide that hmmm maybe he shouldn’t antagonize people with far more connections than him.
I mean, obviously, I know why. It’s not exactly subtext, the meaning is blatant.
The more accurate question that’s been on my mind is: Why did Andrew tell Neil he’d blow him at all?
Well, Neil asked Andrew why Roland thought he’d been handcuffing Neil, but even then, Andrew didn’t have to confess that engaging in physical acts with Neil was something he had genuinely considered. He could have just said: “Roland thinks we’re a thing.”
This is most likely not a new perspective on this, but I only read this series in April of this year, so, please forgive me:
Andrew’s had a brewing crush on Neil for a while at this point. He’s just been released from rehab. He’s off his meds for good. Neil came back from Evermore beaten black and blue with a Moriyama branding on his face because he didn’t want Andrew to be hurt any more. Neil’s still here. Neil is feeling more and more like a person than a pipedream by the second.
And now Neil’s just asked him to his face why Roland is jumping to conclusions about their private lives.
Maybe Andrew carefully decided to say it, maybe it slipped out in the heat of the moment. Either way, Andrew took one look at the edge, and stepped off, because he wanted to see if this junkie would catch him.
off-meds andrew has literally no chill remember when neil was like
“seth overdosed?”
and andrew just went “keep up with the conversation”
like somebody died andrew
kevin in that same scene tho
andrew “he wasn’t that important” minyard
kevin “but what about exy” day
neil “i don’t understand the big deal” josten
these assholes are literally MADE FOR EACH OTHER. neil spend the next couple pages analytically watching his teammates, trying to figure out who’s the most apathetic. spoiler alert: it’s neil. it is 100% neil.
neil is SO ruthlessly efficient in his affections? he is utterly delighted when riko dies because it means that his foxes are safe. he doesn’t care that seth died beyond his worry that it may be his fault, so allison might be hard to handle. THAT IS HIS EXACT REASONING: “if allison connected the dots and blamed seth’s death on neil there’d be no dealing with her this year”.
he doesn’t even really feel guilty about inadvertently causing seth’s death – the first time explicitly feels guilty in the text is when andrew blames him for drake. THAT fucks him up. seth’s death? a minor inconvenience at worst. at best, it got rid of an obstacle in the team’s line-up, a ruthless observation that not even exy-obsessed kevin makes.
You know what’s interesting here? I think this might be the first time (or the first time in a long time) that Andrew’s been told to his face that he’s not some heartless monster.
It’s very clear from the very beginning that Andrew couldn’t give two shits about what other people might think of him. But for the first time, here’s someone who blatantlylooks at him like he’s a human and not a sociopath, and what’s more, that person is also threatening to fight anyone who might say anything against him.
Andrew’s world has not worked like that up to this point. In his world so far, everything’s been an exchange. If he does this, he’ll get something in return. Nothing more and nothing less. A promise is a promise and the cold, hard, law.
And now he’s got Neil Josten over here: someone who’s sacrificed himself to Riko over winter break once already for Andrew, and is now casually speaking about doing it again. Can you imagine how unsettling that might be?
No wonder Andrew says the “going on ninety-three”. He’s unnerved. Things don’t work like that for him. These kinds of actions are not given freely. Neil Josten is over here trying to turn Andrew’s world on it’s side.
(I could also go on about how Neil Josten is a person that has spent a good 18 years of his life not thinking about anyone’s survival but his own and is now over here casually offering to fight those who might besmirch Andrew’s honor but we’ll save that for another post)
Kayleigh Day knew that Wymack is Kevin’s father and Wymack presumably trusted her when she denied it which leads me to believe either:
A.) The relationship between Wymack and Kayleigh was a “friends with benefits” situation
Or
B.) They were, at one point, a couple, and broke it off (I’m guessing) because they felt they were heading in separate directions.
Either way, hypothetically speaking, Wymack didn’t have that much trouble believing Kevin was someone else’s.
But Kayleigh can’t have been seeing anyone else round the time she and Wymack had a thing, since she’d have to go to a lot of trouble to, like, get DNA evidence or whatever to be sure it was his baby, and bear in mind she wrote to Coach Moriyama while pregnant with Kevin.
And people might have theories about Wymack not actually being Kevin’s father and Noah Fence but I don’t care for those tbh that just fucks over the development Kevin goes through in the latter half of TKM after coming forward about Wymack.
Anyway, there’s this whole backstory to Wymack and Kayleigh, and I have yet to see a single post specifically about them so what gives?
I was literally thinking this same thing a couple days ago. She told him that because she knew he’d give everything up to raise a child and he probably went through a lot thinking she’d either cheated or wasn’t actually that committed to him. He’s the kind of guy who would have 100% still offered to marry her even if he thought the baby wasn’t his because he’s just that kind of guy. And she said no and ran off to her friend instead. Imagine taking 20 years to heal only to have the kid thrown at you. He’d probably sit there everyday telling himself “remember that’s not your son” and then it he has a scared as fuck Kevin come into talk to him and he now has to deal with the fact that he was an absent father for 20 years (even if it wasn’t his fault). I garuntee you he’s fucked up about the entire situation.
Fucking literally, yo, and when that rat Riko broke Kev’s hand can’t you just imagine Wymack fuming with anger, just wondering where the hell was this boy’s father when he needed him.
Imagine Wymack wanting more than anything to take Kevin away from the Ravens but thinking it wasn’t his place to do so…
I doubt Wymack was mad at Kevin for not telling him sooner, I think he was more mad at Kayleigh and Coach Moriyama… and at himself for missing the opportunity to protect his son.
So one of the most
underappreciated things I want to talk is this scene in King’s Men when they
were in a cabin and Renee woke them up because she needed a car:
So the first thing I’d
like to point out is that Andrew woke up to somebody at the door of his bedroom
with somebody already in his bed – and he did not flip out and did not hit
anyone. Now it’s possible that Andrew wasn’t in fact sleeping at all, because
he had been lying there watching Neil, thinking how did he get himself in such
a situation, debating if he was really allowed to keep this stray, and
wondering if the guy will disappear again if he so much as blinks. But I doubt
it. The text does say that the sound woke them both up, and even though Neil
sometimes is as observant as Harry Potter, I do believe that, because I like
thinking about Andrew feeling safe and comfortable sleeping with Neil at his
side.
Now, it’s been
mentioned a number of times that on the run Neil kept a gun under his pillow.
So when he heard a sound from the door, he reached for a gun – under his
pillow… and he found Andrew’s hand… under his pillow… Which means that Andrew
slept with his arm under Neil’s pillow. And if it’s not the cutest shit you’ve
ever heard of, then I don’t know what is!
I also think it’s quite
symbolic that Neil reached for something that will protect him and he did find
something that will protect him.
I also
think about what Andrew thought when he glanced at Neil and saw how scared he
was. He was probably walking to the door like “Imma fuck up whoever scared him
like that.” And thank god it was Renee or he would’ve decked them.
Adding to this: Neil HIT sleeping Andrew’s arm. Every other time Andrew was woken up by something hitting him (like the wallet Wymack threw at him), he fucking startled awake. This boy trusts Neil so much, my heart bleeds.
Also Neil woke up from FINGERNAILS on the door? Talk about PTSD.
So one of the most
underappreciated things I want to talk is this scene in King’s Men when they
were in a cabin and Renee woke them up because she needed a car:
So the first thing I’d
like to point out is that Andrew woke up to somebody at the door of his bedroom
with somebody already in his bed – and he did not flip out and did not hit
anyone. Now it’s possible that Andrew wasn’t in fact sleeping at all, because
he had been lying there watching Neil, thinking how did he get himself in such
a situation, debating if he was really allowed to keep this stray, and
wondering if the guy will disappear again if he so much as blinks. But I doubt
it. The text does say that the sound woke them both up, and even though Neil
sometimes is as observant as Harry Potter, I do believe that, because I like
thinking about Andrew feeling safe and comfortable sleeping with Neil at his
side.
Now, it’s been
mentioned a number of times that on the run Neil kept a gun under his pillow.
So when he heard a sound from the door, he reached for a gun – under his
pillow… and he found Andrew’s hand… under his pillow… Which means that Andrew
slept with his arm under Neil’s pillow. And if it’s not the cutest shit you’ve
ever heard of, then I don’t know what is!
I also think it’s quite
symbolic that Neil reached for something that will protect him and he did find
something that will protect him.
I also
think about what Andrew thought when he glanced at Neil and saw how scared he
was. He was probably walking to the door like “Imma fuck up whoever scared him
like that.” And thank god it was Renee or he would’ve decked them.
One of the things I truly love about Yuri!!! On ICE is that Yuuri can handle his mental illnesses all on
his own.
It’s not perfect, of course. No mental health management is.
But his family? Not much help there. He’s an adult and they leave him to his
own devices. Minako? Well, she lets him dance out his anxieties, but she also
pressures him a lot. Viktor actively makes
things worse.
There’s a weird trend in fanfiction where Viktor is amazing at managing Yuuri’s anxiety, and
sometimes all I can think is, “What show you been watching?” because honestly.
Viktor has the EQ of a rock and didn’t realize intentionally “Breaking Yuuri’s glass heart” would make Yuuri cry.
Viktor, I love you, but no.
Just no.
Maybe he gets better post-canon, but we have no evidence of
this in the show itself. He didn’t seem to notice any of Yuuri’s anxieties
leading up to the GPF, given how blindsided by Yuuri’s decision he was, and
then he was too hurt to really deal with Yuuri’s problems (which is valid, but
it does leave Yuuri on his own here).
And the AUs where Viktor is amazing with anxiety before he
even meets Yuuri? I guess some people have difficulties seeing why Yuuri would
fall for someone who messed up so bad, but that’s the thing.
That’s the thing.
One of the many things I love about YoI.
Yuuri’s mental illness
does not define him.
Viktor has the EQ of a rock and Yuuri loves him anyway, because
mentally ill people have personalities outside of their mental illnesses, and
they care about people for reasons unrelated to people being fantastic at
handling their mental illnesses.
And this is also part of the reason that everyone who says
that YoI is a story about falling in love “fixing” mental illness bothers me:
it’s not. Viktor doesn’t fix Yuuri. Yuuri takes care of himself.
In fact, Viktor makes the problems worse in real, tangible
ways. On accident, sure, but he still does it.
But Yuuri? Don’t worry about Yuuri. Yuuri’s got it handled, and
wouldn’t appreciate your concern anyway. He’s 23 (24, now), and he’s been
living like this for a long time. He knows what helps. He goes skating alone,
he dances with Minako, he goes for a run with a cute dog. He turns his phone
off and takes a nap.
He…gets bored of being depressed, so he…stops being
depressed? Yuuri, teach me your secrets.
And sometimes, he slips up and stalks new articles about his
failures and spirals, because no mental health management is perfect.
But he pulls himself back out again, always. Always. He’s so
strong. So accomplished. He functions. He more than functions.
To me, that’s hope. That’s the light at the end of the
tunnel.
Never take Yuuri’s strength and independence and autonomy
from him.
In fact, here’s something to consider: Celestino is seen
telling Yuuri to put his phone away and ignore the news about himself. That’s
great advice for anxiety, actually (it didn’t work, but that’s not the point).
And part of Yuuri’s complaints about Viktor’s coaching is that he’s too
inexperienced to deal with something like anxiety in a skater.
Ergo, Celestino is probably great at handling mental
illnesses like anxiety disorders.
But Yuuri didn’t start reaching for his potential until he
left Celestino and partnered with Viktor, who, again, stresses Yuuri’s mental
health in new and unique ways.
There’s a theory to be drawn here that Yuuri couldn’t have achieved
what he did without having to handle
his mental health on his own.
It’s not a hill I’d die on, but it’s there to be read if
someone wants to take it that way.
I’ma really need people to understand the intersection between class, race, and privilege in the Raven Cycle because there are characters whose race really shouldn’t change (Gansey, Henry, Adam) and characters who absolutely can (Blue, Blue’s family, Ronan, Noah).
Okay its been a short minute since I’ve read trc books, but why Gansey and Adam? I know keeping Henry asian is important for representation, especially where hes a successful asian, but couldja explain the Gansey and Adam thing??
Henry is actually not great Asian representation but I’ll address Gansey first.
Gansey’s speech, dress, and family are all distinctly upper middle class or upper class white. His mother is either Republican or libertarian with designs on a high-ranking political career. Gansey is the kind of rich where his parents are perfectly accepting of their underage son traveling the world in pursuit of a minor historical figure. They’re the kind of people that have no concept of their own money. Gansey adopts a dying accent overwhelmingly associated with old, rich white people. But most telling is how Gansey gets away with things and how indulgent the adults in his life are. School administrators and local judges know him by name. He is able to use his money and influence to smooth over school and legal issues. He is not just money, he is old, white money.
Nothing but My Aching Soul 