A messy thing I wrote in like an hour because I saw this post by @acerenee and then I realized I could use this with the prompt ‘on the commute home’ on the Andreil card from @aftgbingo so like. Yeah

****

Neil needs to get to work, and this line hasn’t moved for the past fifteen minutes.

It’s not often that he has to go to campus, because most of his classes are taught online.

Today, however, is special; he needs to physically be on campus for a faculty meeting. But he’s going to be fucking late because somebody is holding up the ticketing queue. He should’ve just gone for the ticket machines, in retrospect.

“Hey!” a man behind him yells. “What the hell is taking so long?”

A few other people shout their dissatisfaction and demand to know the same.

A slew of frantic sentences fly down the line. There is a buzz of murmured confusion among the people, and Neil sighs.

He pushes his way through the crowd to the front of the line. A tall, frustrated man is hunched over the ticket window, throwing a “Patience, please!” to the line of angry people behind him.

The problem is – he is speaking in Russian, and nobody can understand a lick of what he is saying. Nobody but Neil, anyway.

“Excuse me,” he says in Russian. “May I help you?”

The man stops rambling to the station agent behind the window and turns to Neil, eyes widening in surprise. Then his face breaks into relief and delight as he begins to explain that he needs to get to the museum but he wants a three-day pass that covers zones A to C, with a 1-day pass that covers only zone D.

Neil relays this information in English to an unruffled Minyard, who performs the transaction with brisk efficiency. It’s quite contradictory to his claims of I do not care about this job.

After the Russian man squeezes Neil in a hug, showers him with a rush of gratitude, and potters away with his oversized luggage, Minyard says, “So the professor speaks Russian.”

He’s in a good mood today, ‘good’ being a very loose term. For all Neil knows, he could be feeling unbridled joy under that veneer of perpetual indifference. Neil only thinks he’s in a good mood because he’s not ignoring Neil like he does on some days, acting like he isn’t aware of Neil’s existence.

“So he does,” Neil says, propping an elbow on the counter. “Get me my usual.”

“This is not a bar,” Minyard points out, “and you are jumping in front of the line.”

“Oh, it’s not? Could’ve fooled me, with all the noise and large crowds. And I just rescued you from an angry mob. You could thank me by giving me my ticket and letting me get on a train.”

Neil isn’t sure that Minyard would do it, but Minyard prints out a round-ticket and slides it through the hatch on the transparent window.

“Get out of my sight.”

Neil accepts the ticket and drops a few coins on the counter.

“See you around,” he says, tapping his fingers to his temple in a mocking salute. On his way to the platforms, he feels his lips flicking upwards in a small smile.

*

“Still hard at work, I see.”

Minyard, in his white button-up shirt and black armbands, levels him with a blank stare through the window. Neil himself is in office attire, but his tie had been stuffed into his messenger bag as soon as he got out of the meeting and his jacket is hanging off his elbow. He folds his arms on the counter, staring right back at Minyard.

“Do you ever go outside of your booth or are you surgically implanted in there?”

Instead of remaining in his seat and staring stonily at Neil like he usually does, Minyard gets to his feet. He exits the ticket kiosk and goes around to where Neil is standing.

“Do you ever keep your mouth shut or are you physically incapable of doing so?”

“Hmm, the latter.”

Minyard kicks the side of Neil’s foot. He’s even shorter than Neil, but he looks formidable enough, with his penetrating gaze and burly arms.

“Tell me, what time do you usually leave work?”

Neil sees Minyard swallowing, his Adam’s apple bobbing. He shoves his hands into the pockets of his black slacks and looks at a point above Neil’s shoulder.

“Why do you want to know?”

Neil shrugs. “Just curious. I saw you when I left this morning and I see you now when I come back. You must be pretty tired.”

“Seeing you always makes me tired.”

“You’re welcome,” Neil says without missing a beat.

“And what will you be doing after a long day at work?” Minyard asks, his voice as toneless as it always is.

“I’ll take a shower, eat something, play with my cat, check my emails to make sure I don’t have a student panicking about their grade in the middle of the night. Boring stuff.” Neil tilts his head to the side a little. “You still haven’t answered my question.”

“I leave when I want to.”

“Is that so.”

“Was there an emergency today.”

This makes Neil frown. “No. Why do you ask?”

“You only go to the university on Tuesdays and Thursdays.” Minyard’s still not meeting Neil’s eyes, which is odd.

“I normally do. But there was a meeting this morning, with the new dean. It wasn’t anything too important, though.”

Minyard parts his lips to say something, but seems to have second thoughts when the station master strides up to them. Neil sees him sometimes – his name is Wymack, if Neil isn’t mistaken – when he’s out patrolling the platforms.

“Minyard. Would you like to tell me why you’re not in your booth?”

“No, I would not.”

Wymack exhales noisily through his mouth. “I don’t even know why I bother.” He glances at Neil, then back at Minyard. When he turns to Neil again, his eyes are scrutinizing. “Sir, can I help you with something?”

Neil doesn’t particularly like men who are old enough to be his father. Childhood trauma and all that. He backs away a little, putting on a faint, cordial smile. “Oh, no, not at all. I was about to leave, but I just wanted to say hi to Mr. Minyard here.”

“That so. Well, if he gives you any trouble, you let me know right away. I’ll set him straight.”

“That would be homophobic,” Minyard says blandly.

Neil’s eyebrows climb up to his hairline. Huh. He’d never noticed.

Minyard is finally looking at him now, watching him closely as if he is studying every shift in Neil’s expression.

“What is it?”

Minyard rakes his eyes over Neil from head to toe before he looks away again.

“Nothing.”

*

The next time he sees Minyard, he almost punches him right on his nose.

He’s always been hot-headed, but maturing into an adult has taught him some self-restraint and the ability to keep his temper on a short leash. But frankly speaking, he’s had quite enough of Minyard’s drastic personality swings. Coupled with the fact that he’d had a rotten day at work – well, it’s probably inevitable that he would snap.

He had said a simple hello to Minyard after he had passed through the turnstiles, but he had gotten a disgusted scowl in return.

“Oh, so I guess I’m not even worth a ‘hey there’, huh?”

Minyard’s scowl deepens. “What?”

“I mean, a little friendly ‘hi’ never killed anybody. I know that we’re only acquaintances, but that doesn’t give you the right to treat me like I don’t even exist just because you’re in a shitty mood.”

A couple of people steer away from the booth and scurry off to the next window. Minyard looks at Neil like he’s never even seen him before.

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

Neil takes a deep, long breath. His rage boils just underneath his skin, threatening to spill over. He wants to smash his fist through the window and into Minyard’s mouth. But he merely clenches his hand and grinds his teeth. It’s unfair of him, too, to take out his foul mood on another person.

“Nothing,” he bites out. “I’m talking about absolutely nothing.”

He turns and walks away.

*

When he buys his ticket the next Tuesday, he doesn’t even glance at Minyard. He slides his money over, but doesn’t get his ticket.

He fixes his gaze on the map pinned to the wall of the kiosk, the intersecting train and bus lines like some misshapen spider web.

“You are early today.”

“Just give me my ticket.”

“Discourteous as well. I would have thought that being punctual would help to mitigate that rude behavior of yours.”

“Funny how you think I’m the rude one.” He doesn’t give Minyard a chance to retort, continuing with, “Look, are you going to give me my ticket or not? I can go to a different window if you aren’t.”

He feels Minyard’s eyes boring into his face. When his ticket is given to him a few minutes later, he picks it up and leaves without another word.

His day soars by. He gives a lecture on Boolean algebra, holds two hours of office hours, and keys in his students’ homework grades. Next thing he knows, he’s on the commute heading home.

He manages to procure a seat near the doors. The carriage isn’t nearly as full as it would be during peak hours. The sceneries pass by him in a dizzy blur. The train conductor does his rounds, checking on the passengers’ tickets and metro cards.

“Hi, Neil.”

Neil looks up at a grinning Boyd.

“How’s it going? Taught anything cool today?”

“If you think binary numbers are cool, then yeah.” Neil flashes Boyd his ticket, and Boyd beeps it on his bulky ticket-machine-thing.

“That sounds pretty cool to me. You’re getting off at the next stop, right?”

Neil nods.

“Me too. I need to hop on to my next line. Got a few hours left before I can clock out.”

Neil nods again, staring out the windows as a voice filters through the speakers to announce the station. The train pulls to a stop and the doors open in a quiet whoosh. Boyd throws a goodbye at him as he climbs the staircase and exits the platforms.

Minyard is outside the ticket kiosk, hands in his pockets and a cigarette between his lips. The ground around him is littered with cigarette stubs and candy wrappers.

Neil would have walked past him if he didn’t reach out and snag the strap of Neil’s messenger bag. Neil stops, and Minyard steps in front of him, squashing his cigarette out beneath his shoe. He does nothing but stare into Neil’s eyes.

Neil is the one to break the silence, dropping a simple “What do you want?” into the small space between them.

Minyard doesn’t answer. His jaw ticks, his lips pressed together. If Neil doesn’t know any better, he would think that Minyard is nervous.

“Do you drink coffee,” is what he says, just when Neil decides that he’s waited long enough.

“I…do,” Neil says, confused. He’s not sure where this conversation is headed.

Impassively, Minyard says, “Do you want to get coffee together.”

Getting a master’s in Mathematics is probably easier than navigating whatever the fuck is going on right now.

“You’re asking me out on a date.”

Minyard’s silence is confirmation enough. Neil runs a hand through his hair and closes his eyes for a moment; he’s lost on why Minyard would ask him this when he treats Neil like a bacteria on some days.   

“But you don’t even like me.”

Minyard narrows his eyes.

“You don’t,” Neil repeats, crossing his arms over his chest. “Sometimes you don’t even acknowledge my existence. So I don’t know why you think I would want to grab a drink with you.”

Minyard’s eyes flicker, a brief lapse in his cool persona. “It is a no, then.”

“It’s more of a ‘can you explain to me why you’re suddenly asking me out when you won’t even talk to me on some days?’ Is there an impersonator that I should know about? An identical twin, maybe?” Neil asks sarcastically.

Now it’s Minyard’s turn to close his eyes for a while.

“I do have one,” he tells Neil. “A twin, who also works here.”

Neil stares at him. “You’re joking.”

“Not really what I am known to do.”

Neil mulls this over for a while. There are a few notable differences between the Minyard that talks to him and the Minyard that doesn’t, now that he thinks about it. The armbands, the level of apathy, and – apparently – the interest in Neil.

Huh.

“So you like me, and your brother doesn’t. Okay. I guess it all makes sense now.”

“I never said anything about liking you.”

“How can you not like me?” Neil says with faux-innocence. “You want to go on a date with me, after all.”

Minyard kicks the side of Neil’s foot.

Neil feels a twitch on his lips, a giddy feeling bubbling in his stomach.

“So, Minyard, about what you asked just now -”

“Andrew.”

Neil blinks, then smiles. “Andrew,” he says, “ask me again.”

Andrew looks supremely unimpressed, but –

“Do you want to get coffee together.”

Neil hums, pretending to think about it.

“No,” he finally says, “I’d prefer it if we get dinner instead.”

****

// support me on ko-fi

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Ask and you shall receive. Thank you for the love! Stay scrunching babes.

Here are Part 1 and Part 2 of the high school AU for your reference, but this can still be read as a stand-alone 🙂

CW: Mild violence, underage drinking, implied self-harm, mention of a sexual relationship between a sixteen year old and a nineteen year old 

****

The thing about Andrew is that he finds it incredibly difficult to say no to Neil.

When he says he wants to steal a car and frame a senior for drug abuse, Andrew says okay. When he says he wants to watch Megamind again because it’s just so ridiculous and fun, Andrew says fine. When he says he wants to try out for the track and field team and asks Andrew to join him, Andrew says you owe me one.

The sun is blinding white. Sweat drips down his brow and soaks through his armbands. The sunscreen Neil made him put on is melting off his skin like butter. Summer is abhorrent, but he supposes it beats contracting hypothermia and frostbite. Winter is his least favorite season; it’s Neil’s favorite though, because he is a heathen. 

Neil winds down to a stop near him, face flushed and hair sticking to his forehead. He’s the kind of person who doesn’t keel over after running a long distance, and Andrew rather hates him for it. 

“Time?” he pants out. 

“Three-twenty-one.”

Clicking his tongue in displeasure, Neil rests his hands on his hips. His chest heaves as he tries to regulate his breathing. 

Andrew passes him his water bottle and he guzzles it down. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, eyebrows scrunched together. “It’s not good enough.”

He looks captivating, red-cheeked and glistening with sweat. He wears anger well too, his eyes lit up even through the brown contacts, his plush lips hardened.

“Your sprint times are far above average.”

“But if I want to make the cut -” 

“You will have to be able to run 800 meters in less than three minutes,” Andrew interrupts. “I know.”

Neil huffs, looking away. 

“You do not need to be the fastest runner in order to join the team.”

Neil’s face unfolds, his anger slowly drained out of him like air from a punctured tire.

“You have been practicing and steadily improving over the past few weeks.”

Andrew curls a finger into the fabric of Neil’s damp t-shirt.

“Stop worrying so much. You will get grey hair by the time you’re eighteen if you don’t.”

Neil turns his face towards him, eyes twinkling with amusement. Quiet triumph rushes into Andrew’s chest like a rising tide.

“Such an inspiring pep talk. Ever considered a career as a motivational speaker?”

“I should start charging you for my services.”

“Are Snickers bars an acceptable form of payment?”

Andrew hums, tugging Neil’s shirt as he pretends to consider it.

“Only if you add a few Mars bars.”

“I’ll even give you some Whatchamacallits as a bonus.”

Neil places his bottle on the ground, starting his cool down routine. He does another circuit along the running tracks, jogging slowly. A few paces away from Andrew, he bends forward to touch his toes.  

The thing about Andrew is that he is always watching. This has never been a problem, but this – this thing with Neil – 

It’s definitely a problem.  

He is sweating profusely now, a different kind of heat snaking around his body like poison ivy. 

It’s cumbersome, he thinks, being sixteen.

When Neil finishes his series of stretches and straightens up, Andrew shoves the stopwatch into his hand. 

Neil pockets the watch, raising an eyebrow. “So? Have you decided what you’re trying out for?”

“Who said I was going to try out?”

“You did.”

Andrew exhales through his mouth; an inaudible sigh. They could have been sparring at the gym instead of wasting time here on the school field. But Andrew has yet learned the complex art of saying no to Neil, so here he stands, getting sunburnt and telling Neil that he might try the shot put or discus throw.

Sweat sluices down Neil’s temple and cheekbone, dripping off his chiseled jawline. Most of them are still shedding off their baby fat; Neil, on the other hand, looks like he could use some more meat. 

“You’d be great at them,” he says with a nod. “You have really strong arms and shoulders, after all.”

Andrew doesn’t know how he can say that with a straight face and mean it. He also doesn’t know when Neil has become more accustomed to telling truths than lying. A few months ago, prying truths out of each other had been excruciating, like a pickaxe to the teeth. Nowadays, they trade honesty like a second language. 

“Do you want to ask the office if there’s a way we can borrow the equipment?” Neil asks, because he’s a single-minded fool when he’s determined. No kid in their right mind would spend their summer conditioning themselves for a track tryout.

Andrew gives the ghost of a shrug. Going to an air-conditioned indoor space sounds appealing enough.

The lady at the office, however, peers at them over her glasses and states that the gym and all of the field equipment are not for use during summer break.
Andrew exchanges a glance with Neil. Neil then plasters on a charming smile and thanks the clerk.  

Outside, Andrew tosses Neil’s wallet at him – he had been holding onto it for him when he ran. Neil is now fishing out a folded napkin from it; Andrew knows that it contains two pins. After slipping his wallet into the pocket of his shorts, Neil leads them towards the store room where all the sports and field equipment are. 

Ten minutes and one busted lock later, they’re back on the field, this time at the discus cage. Andrew tests the weight of the disc after a light warm up. He gives it a few throws, letting his body get a feel for the motion. 

“What do you think?” Neil asks.

Andrew hums, non-committal. 

The tryouts are at the beginning of the upcoming semester. Bizarrely, they’re important to Neil. They’re not important to Andrew, but he’s made Neil a promise. 

So he lets his sweat drench through his clothes and lets the sunlight kiss his skin – because it’s the tail-end of summer, because he is a boy. 

*

They both make the team. 

Neil draws attention with his 100-meter and 400-meter dash times, as Andrew had predicted. The coach says that with a proper conditioning and practice regime, not only will he be able to qualify for regionals – he will also be able to literally leave other runners in the dust.  

Andrew draws attention with his inability to expend a single fuck. Apathetically, he had hurtled a shot put ball and a disc during tryouts. He had been drafted into both events, but he could tell that it almost hurt the coach to sign him on. Truly, his reputation precedes him. 

The good thing about making the team is that it’s made Neil happy. And when Neil is happy, Andrew is… well, he isn’t unhappy. 

The bad thing about it is that while he is straggling near the shot put area, Neil is on the other side of the field with the rest of the sprinters.  

He doesn’t appreciate having to stand under the sun for an extended period of time without Neil by his side to whisper scathing commentaries about their teammates and keep him entertained. 

He does, however, derive some satisfaction from being able to eye Neil from a safe distance. He thanks the person who is responsible for the invention of short shorts and whatever deity up there that is responsible for Neil’s inclination to wear them. 

He and Neil usually shower after the rest of them have left. Sometimes, they just change out and take showers at home. 

He knows Neil has scars on his body. He’s seen them once; Neil had dragged him to a swimming pool in the middle of the night two weeks into summer break. Neil’s hands had been shaking, clutched around the hem of his t-shirt – but there had been a firm set to his features. He had taken the t-shirt off, and his eyes had been steady and clear when they met Andrew’s.

Neil knows Andrew has scars on his forearms. He’s shown them to him once; Neil had slept over and Andrew had purposely left his armbands on the dresser. His pulse had been snarling like a wounded animal, blood roaring in his ears – but there had been a calm set to Neil’s features. He had flicked his gaze over the thin, systematic marks on Andrew’s arms, and his eyes had been steady and clear when they met Andrew’s. 

Neil’s locker is still across from his. He sees him there every morning before the bell rings, his books tucked under an arm as he waits for Andrew. 

This morning, he has company. Kevin Day – a senior with a superiority complex – towers over Neil with a thunderous expression on his face, backing Neil into a corner. 

It’s an instinct – an automatic decision, embedded deeply into his particles – to haul Kevin by the scruff of his neck and slam him against the lockers. 

Light bounces off the blade of Andrew’s knife, glinting like silver. It’s a switchblade, similar to Neil’s penknife in terms of deadliness. He gave it to Andrew not long after Andrew gave him a copy of his car key. 

When Kevin opens his mouth to speak, Andrew presses it harder against his throat. There is already a crowd forming around them, buzzing with morbid curiosity and mild horror. Andrew’s attention, sharp as his knife, is directed solely towards the terror in Kevin’s green eyes.  

“Andrew.”

One word, and Andrew’s attention is snapped cleanly like a bone. 

“Andrew,” Neil says again. “Hey, it’s okay. We were just talking.”

Andrew tilts his head towards Neil. He can feel him hovering beside him, right within reach.

“Really, we were. I’m not hurt or anything.”

Blood wells onto the edge of the blade, trickling down Kevin’s throat when Andrew pulls back. Wide-eyed and pale-faced, Kevin slumps against the lockers, breathing in heavy relief. Andrew stows his switchblade before any nosy teacher could arrive, and the crowd disperses, disappointed at the anticlimactic resolve.  

Andrew fists his hand in the collar of Neil’s shirt, examining him and making sure that he wasn’t lying about not being hurt. Neil keeps quiet as he takes his fill, and only talks after Andrew releases him.  

“Quite a show you put on.”

Smart-mouthed asshole.

“Next time, let’s save the killing until there aren’t any witnesses around.”

“Next time,” Andrew retorts evenly, “try not to get into trouble.”

“I wasn’t in trouble,” Neil argues. “Besides, I’m perfectly capable of defending myself against Kevin.”

“I am right here.”

They both turn towards Kevin. His face is now contorted in righteous indignation rather than fear as he cups his neck protectively. Andrew’s initial impression of him – back when he was a freshman and Kevin was a sophomore – was that he was handsome. But then he heard him talk and all sense of attraction was effectively snuffed out. 

“What is wrong with you? Who brings a knife to school, anyway? Don’t you know it is against regulations?”

Case in point.

Neil gives Andrew a look, lips twitching. He schools it back into a neutral expression before addressing Kevin. “What were you saying again? Make it quick. I have trig in five minutes.”

“I was saying,” Kevin says through gritted teeth, “that you need to focus on building your endurance. Stop letting other things distract you.”

“And I was telling you that I’m not distracted.”

“You are. You should be spending more time on the field.” Visibly gulping, he darts an anxious glance at Andrew. “Instead, you’re gallivanting around with -”

Andrew takes a cool, threatening step forward. Kevin flinches back, banging his head against the locker. He rubs the back of his head, wincing in pain. Andrew is unsympathetic, and neither is Neil. 

“I didn’t know that being the captain of the track team means you have complete jurisdiction over your athletes’ lives,” Neil says, flat. His hands, though, are balled into angry fists. “Newsflash, asshole: you don’t get to decide how I live my life; I do. Coach thinks I’m doing fine – better, even. I’ve cut down my times by a whole lot, and we’re not even halfway through October yet. Just stick to your pole vaulting and get off my dick.”

Neil storms away. Andrew throws a mocking salute at Kevin before following him towards the front doors. 

The bell rings. Neil is fuming, lips twisted and shoulders squared. He’s pacing back and forth in the parking lot, clenching and unclenching his hands. 

Andrew grabs his elbow, and he immediately goes still. His jutted chin makes it look like he’s pouting. Andrew would be lying if he said that he doesn’t find it endearing.

“Tell me.”

“Tell you what?” Neil says, waspish.

“The other thing that he told you.”

Neil works his jaw, eyebrows knitted.

“He told me to control you, told me to get you to start taking practice seriously. So I told him to fuck off, because you’re not some – some thing that can be owned and controlled like that. And then he starts spouting bullshit like how I shouldn’t be spending so much time with you because you’re a distraction that’s going to get me – and I quote – derailed from achieving my goals.” 

Neil does a good imitation of Kevin, Andrew will give him that.  

He puffs a strand of hair from his eyes, shoulders sinking now that he’s aired all his rage out.

“Andrew?”

Andrew makes a noise of acknowledgment. 

Neil scuffs his sneakers against the gravel, kicking a pebble under someone’s car. His eyes are downcast. 

“I know you tried out because I asked you to, but you don’t have to stay on the team if you don’t want to. I would never force you to do anything against your will.” 

It’s exactly because he says things like this that Andrew doesn’t say no to him. He has always given Andrew a choice, and Andrew has chosen him. 

Andrew reaches out, skimming the tip of his fingers under Neil’s chin. He looks up, and their eyes meet. 

“I know,” Andrew says.

Neil’s eyes soften, pooling with something like relief, something like warmth. Andrew wishes he would stop wearing his contacts.

Andrew drops his hand. Neil steps closer, lightly knocking his knuckles against Andrew’s. 

“You know, we haven’t gone to Five Guys in a while,” Neil says with affected nonchalance. 

They spent a lot of their time there during the break, tossing the free peanuts into each other’s mouth and sharing a tall glass of milkshake and a plate of fries. Andrew didn’t bring Neil around to the house much because Aaron was at home most of the time.

Andrew lifts an eyebrow. “And your precious trigonometry class?”

Neil smiles; a tiny, soft thing that he never shows other people. “I’d rather spend time with you, I think.” 

He meant it to be sarcastic, Andrew knows, but it still makes butterflies flutter up a storm in his stomach. 

It’s exceedingly cumbersome, he thinks, being sixteen and gay. 

*

Working as a busboy at Eden’s Twilight has its perks. 

For one, the higher-ups don’t mind that Andrew and Aaron are under eighteen. For another, Roland occasionally sneaks them free drinks. 

Nicky pretends to be aghast by this, bemoaning the illegality of it all, but he doesn’t put a stop to it. He probably thinks it’s better to have the twins drinking small amounts under his watch than to have them going to wild parties and chugging down a keg of beer.  

Andrew mostly needs the money for his medications, since his insurance doesn’t cover them. The court mandate and misdiagnosis had him ingesting antipsychotics that jumbled his brain chemistry more so than they fixed it. A proper diagnosis after the year-long sentence ended had finally directed him to the help he actually needed, and it had been his choice whether to take it or refuse it. 

He had his reservations, but it was either taking the drugs or drowning in the cesspool of his depression – and the choice had been clear. 

He had surprised himself, with his willingness to give recovery a chance. It’s not like he wants to die; it’s just that he isn’t entirely ecstatic about the idea of being alive. 

The club is packed tonight. Andrew has never been more glad to take his break, skulking off through the backdoor and into the alley. Leaning against the brick wall, he fiddles with the cigarette stick he pilfered from one of the bouncers. 

He had stolen a pack from a foster parent once, when he had been twelve. He had lit one up with a matchstick, taken a single drag, and wrecked his throat with a coughing fit. His eyes had still been watering when he stomped out the cigarette under his fraying sneakers and chucked the rest of the pack into a dumpster. 

He has been thinking of trying it again. He isn’t sure what’s stopping him; maybe it’s because he doesn’t have a lighter, or maybe it’s because he knows Neil wouldn’t be happy about it, since it would be detrimental to his performance on the field. 

Knowing who he is though, he probably wouldn’t ask Andrew to quit. 

With a flick of his wrist, Andrew pitches the cigarette into the trash can beside him. 

The door creaks open. Roland steps out into the night, smiling his cocky smile. He mimics Andrew’s posture, propping a foot against the wall behind him. 

A few weeks after Andrew turned sixteen last November, he had dragged Roland into the store room and blown him. He had choked and gagged, and he had had to use his hand to finish Roland off. 

Before him, Andrew had only ever made out with one boy. It was before the court mandate, back in middle school.  

Experimenting with Roland is safe; he’s easy on the eyes, he understands that there are no strings attached to this arrangement, he knows not to touch Andrew, and he has been patient with Andrew’s inexperience. Andrew could make do without all the amused snickering though.  

The last time they hooked up, however, had been back in February. He knows that Roland has been wanting to know why, his dark blue eyes brimming with curiosity as they follow Andrew around the club on some nights.

“You’ve been distant,” he says. “You don’t owe me an explanation of course, but I have to admit I’m curious.”

Andrew doesn’t even spare him a glance. “And you will remain as such.”

“Aw, come on. Don’t be like that.” Roland’s voice is as light and playful as it always is. “I’ll give you an extra shot tonight if you tell me.”

So much for getting some peace and quiet during his break, Andrew muses detachedly.   

His phone vibrates in his pocket. He swipes it open to find two new texts from Neil.

Fell asleep at my desk reading The Great Gatsby. It’s a stupid book and I don’t understand why we need to read it for class. 

Hope you’re having more fun than I am at work. Good night.

Fondness spreads through his chest like water ripples. It’s an odd sensation, quiet and non-destructive. It’s a novelty he hasn’t learned to shake off, despite the amount of time he’s spent with Neil. 

“Oh,” Roland says beside him, “so that’s why.”

Andrew gives him a blank look, turning his phone screen off. 

Roland holds his hands up in a I-mean-no-harm gesture, lips pulled into a wide grin. 

“Okay, okay, I’m not gonna say anything about it. But I’m happy for you, y’know?” He sighs, wistful. “I remember when I was your age. Those were the days.”

Andrew does not point out that Roland is only three years older than he is. He leaves him in the alley and trudges back to the kitchen, where he narrowly bumps into Aaron.  

He looks at Andrew like he has something to say, but then he hastily averts his gaze and tightens his jaw – a pattern that’s becoming increasingly frequent in the past couple of months. He ducks out for his own break, and Andrew really cannot be bothered to micro-analyze his brother right now. 

There is still a few hours hours left before his shift ends. He has school and field practice tomorrow, and aside from lunch period, he and Neil won’t be able to spend time together – just the two of them – until the weekend. 

Andrew breathes in, then breathes out. 

The thing about him is that he doesn’t really care about staying alive. 

But it’s junior year. He is turning seventeen in less than a month. At the axis of his small universe is a knife-wielding boy with a disarming smile and a scar-littered body. 

Somehow, it doesn’t feel too bad.  

****

Idk how this ended up as a track & field au

// support me on ko-fi

tell! us! what! you’re! writing! about! Nicky!

hi hello i’m glad you asked.

it’s my first attempt at writing in nicky’s pov – which is a mistake probably since it’s set in that teacher au i wrote last year where i mixed their ages around. so we have a seventeen year old nicky who’s living with an adult andrew, and… well, let’s just say that nicky is very much still healing from all the shit he went through when he lived with his parents and from conversion camp. but he has a good support system now, so not everything is grim and broody. here’s a snippet if you’re interested :’o

// 

“I’m telling you guys, there’s definitely something between them,” Matt insists for the third time that morning.

“Matt, if there was, I’d already been knew about it,” Nicky rationalizes, also for the third time that morning.

“Bitch, please.” Kyle adjusts his wig, giving himself a once-over in the mirror. “You have a shitty gay-dar.”

// 

See, Irfan is the first, full-fledged crush Nicky has had ever since – well, ever since he got back from the therapy program two and a half years ago. He’s a senior at Norton High, competes in javelin throws, and rides his dad’s old vespa. He has beefy arms, olive brown skin, and emerald green eyes. Nicky likes him a lot, and he refuses to be ashamed of it.

//

let’s hope i can finish it, lol. thank you for sending me this ❤

flour petals, sugar stitches – ephemeralsky – All For The Game – Nora Sakavic [Archive of Our Own]

Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: All For The Game – Nora Sakavic
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard, background renison
Characters: Andrew Minyard, Renee Walker (All For The Game), Neil Josten, Matt Boyd, Betsy Dobson
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe – Bakery, Alternate Universe – Bridal Boutique, author has zero knowledge on how bridal shops work, Mental Health Issues, Eating Disorders, Fluff, Light Angst, Flirting, Asexual Character, obscure French pastries
Summary:

“Thanks for coming with me,” she says, keeping her eyes trained in front of her.

“It is not like I had a choice in the matter,” Andrew says, blowing out a stream of smoke through his mouth.

Renee’s lips curl into a smile. “Maybe you’ll win our next sparring match and I’ll finally have to buy you ten cartons of Haagen-Dazs.”

“It cannot be worse than tagging along to a bridal boutique.”

“Maybe,” Renee allows, humor in her voice. “But what kind of man of honor would you be if you didn’t come with me to choose a dress?”

(or: Andrew is a baker, Renee is a bride-to-be, and Neil is a dressmaker)

// support me on ko-fi

flour petals, sugar stitches – ephemeralsky – All For The Game – Nora Sakavic [Archive of Our Own]

groundswell waves – ephemeralsky – All For the Game – Nora Sakavic [Archive of Our Own]

This is my fic for the AFTG Big Bang 2018 event! Huge thanks and lots of love to Christine (@c-dragon-art) for making kickass fanart for this fic, to Olivia for proof-reading it, and to @aftgbigbang for organizing this event. You guys fucking rock.

TWs: References to past abuse, descriptions of scars. Please let me know if you need me to add to the list.

****

By the time the plane lands, Neil has managed to shake off the memory of his mother’s protective grip and urgent hisses. The passengers deboard and the airline employees bid them all a chipper thank you, we hope to see you again.

Neil takes his time, dragging his feet across the washed-out carpets while other people move in big groups around him, talking loudly as they lug their tropical holiday paraphernalia and hop onto the travelator. It’s different, he muses derisively, than all the other times he’s been at an airport, leisurely instead of vigilant.

The airport is old and smells like coconut lotion, and some parts are closed off for renovation. The arrival hall is quiet and dreary except for the rainbow banner that says Welcome to the Aloha State!

(or: Neil moves to a small town in one of Hawaii’s islands, where he works at a beachfront shop, breaks into a public swimming pool, learns how to surf, pillion-rides a motorcycle, and finds a home)

// support me on ko-fi

groundswell waves – ephemeralsky – All For the Game – Nora Sakavic [Archive of Our Own]

not a break up fic

On the first day of summer break, Andrew returns to the dorm and says, I want to break up.

Well, his exact words aren’t I want to break up, because they never really use terms that other couples use, like we’re a couple, or we’re dating.

What Andrew says is, I want to put an end to this.

It’s the end of Neil’s first year, a few months after Baltimore, after spring break, after the championship. When Andrew had gone out earlier that day, right before the sun had risen, Neil had gone out for his run. He had returned to the suite, which had been as empty as when he had left, so after taking a shower and eating some apples, he had pulled out the Russian textbook they bought together and studied it.

He is quiet for a while, thinking, staring at Andrew’s unmoving face. In the scalding afternoon light, the planes of Andrew’s face are stark; strong lines that look like they’re drawn in fine ink. His cheeks are a bristling pink against his usually pale skin. It’s because of the heat, Neil knows. Freckles are sprinkled across the bridge of his nose like cinnamon.

If that’s what you want, Neil says, then I’ll go with it. But just know that I don’t want this to end.

Andrew doesn’t say, everything ends, like he once did. Instead, he continues to be silent.

Unlike Neil, who hurls words out of his mouth like grenades when fueled by anger and spite, Andrew chooses his words carefully, precisely, a sniper with his eye on the spotter scope.

Then, Andrew finally says, we won’t end this.

*

They drive up north, two duffel bags in the trunk and a mountain of snacks in the backseat. Kevin is spending the break with Thea in Maine, then with his father in South Carolina. Neil hopes Abby’s presence can smooth some of the edges and snip through some of the awkwardness, even just a little.

In each state they cross, they take the time to look around. Neil snaps photos with the camera Andrew got for him just before the trip, and Andrew follows him wherever he decides to explore. The camera, hanging around his neck, bumps against his chest like the beat of a clumsy heart. They try the signature dishes of every place, hold hands on their walks by various waterfronts, sleep facing each other on a queen size bed every night.

On a lakeshore in Michigan, Andrew kicks a pebble into the water and says, have you ever been interested in anyone else.

His questions always lack the inflection of a question.  But he talks to Neil, tells him things without extracting a price like they did before. Neil likes to think that it’s because Andrew knows he would tell him anything and everything, give him the moon and the galaxy and all the beautiful things in life. It’s weird. Grandiose promises of astronomical proportions are things of romance novels and movies. They don’t belong in a setting as broken and grim as theirs. But happiness does that to a person, Neil supposes. Maybe Andrew was right when he said, you sound more like them every day.

He would give Andrew every drop of his blood, torch the whole world and trample on the ashes for Andrew.

No, Neil answers, I’ve never been interested in anyone else.

He assesses them, decides whether they’re a threat or not, whether they can be used for his own gain or not, and then he moves on.

You have kissed other people before, Andrew says.

I have, Neil says. I wanted to know what the big deal was.

Your verdict?

I don’t swing, remember? Kissing them didn’t do anything for me.

What about me, Andrew’s eyes say.

It is just kissing, his mouth says. It is not supposed to do anything.

Maybe, Neil says, but kissing you is different. I like kissing you.

Andrew doesn’t say, I’ll get bored of you eventually, like he once did. What he says is, you will get bored of it eventually.

I won’t, Neil says.

Andrew looks away, as stubborn as Neil is. In the resplendent glow of the setting sun, his eyes are the color of amber, gemstones uncovered from the deepest part of the earth. There is tension in his shoulders, his black t-shirt wrinkled like dried leaves. His hands curl into fists, trembling. The pebbles around his feet creak, grinding together when Andrew twists and digs his heels into the soil.

When Neil holds out a hand in offering, Andrew irons out the tiny frown from his expression, unfurls his fingers like casting larks into the sky as he reaches for Neil’s hand. Neil strokes his thumb over the ridge and valleys of Andrew’s prominent knuckles. All the way back to the car, Andrew’s hold remains tight and unyielding, fingers threaded through Neil’s, clinging like forlorn hope.

*

In their house in Columbia, Andrew peels off his armbands and says, this won’t last.

He’s half-eclipsed in the shadows, the light from the hallway falling onto the blue bedsheets. They had been at Eden’s Twilight for the first time since the semester started. The invitation had been extended to the upperclassmen. The night had been fun, brimming with laughter and loud music.

Neil is quiet for a long time, thinking, tracing his eyes over Andrew’s silhouette. His feet are bare, the cuff of his sweatpants pooling onto the floor. Strangely, it gives him an appearance of vulnerability. He sits on the bed, still as a statue. Neil closes the door, and darkness grips the room. His feet carry him closer to Andrew. A wan beam of moonlight streams in from the window like gelatin, forming a silver halo around Andrew’s head. He is looking at Neil without really looking at him.  

Neil asks, why do you say that?

We are together now because the proximity makes it convenient, Andrew says.

Sometimes, Neil forgets that he is in a different year than everyone else. The girls will leave first, followed by Kevin and Matt. Then, it’ll be the cousins. Andrew will live in a different city, a different state, playing for a different team, a different coach. He will have a different apartment, a different view from the windows and rooftop. Neil will remain here, his soul split into tiny pieces and carried to various corners of the country, of the world.

Neil remains quiet.

Our separation is inevitable, Andrew says.

Blinded by the radiant grins of his teammates and smothered by their warm acceptance, he has failed to consider how this might not be as fulfilling to Andrew as it is to him. He imagines a year where Andrew won’t be within arm’s reach; a vapid protoplasm of a year. He imagines it stretching beyond that time frame, a hollowness eating him from the inside out like a disease.

Neil is still silent.

You cannot tie yourself down to the first person you have felt a connection with, Andrew says.

His waking hours, filled with scribbling down Math formulas, spent being encased in plexiglass walls with sweat dripping down his brow and soaking through his jersey, occupied by even more precision drills, redolent of cigarette smoke and curtained by the spill of a black sky above him – all these and everything in between, he would give to Andrew. But he won’t be the gaoler, the iron chain around Andrew’s ankle. He will be fine, in time, even if it feels like it’s killing him now.

I guess we really should end this, he finally says.

Andrew’s eyes flicker, the first stir of a reaction since Neil came in.

So you finally understand, he says.

Yeah, Neil says. I hadn’t realized that you were so unhappy. I’m sorry it took so long.

Andrew’s mouth is a sewn line, flat and immobile. But there is a weakness around his lips when he says, I am not unhappy.

But you aren’t happy either, Neil says. If breaking up will give you a chance at being happy, then let’s do it.

In the dark, Andrew’s eyes are the color of the earth, solid and deep like he always is. But even the earth trembles and cracks sometimes.

I am not unhappy, he says again.

I want you to be happy, Neil says, and I can accept that you won’t find it by staying with me.

Andrew lowers his gaze to his knees, fingers scrunched like he wants to hold onto something.

Don’t, Andrew says.

It’s okay, Neil says, I’ll be fine.

Don’t lie, Andrew says.

They are both quiet for a while, Andrew staring at his lap, Neil staring at the top of Andrew’s head.

I don’t want to end this, Andrew finally says, voice floating like feathers from his mouth.

Neil gets down to his knees, peering up at Andrew’s face.

Then, he says, we won’t end this.

I want, Andrew says, then stops. His lips quiver, unstitched.

I want, he says, to be with you.

Then, Neil says, let’s be together.

Jerking his head in a nod, Andrew relaxes his fingers. He slides down onto the floor in front of Neil.

Andrew asks, yes or no?

Neil says, yes.

Carefully, Andrew curls his arms around Neil’s shoulders.

You can touch me, Andrew says.

Okay, Neil says.

Carefully, Neil curls his fingers around Andrew’s t-shirt, right over his waist.

Like snow, Andrew slowly melts into their first hug. He tucks his head into the crook of Neil’s shoulder and neck, his breathing peaceful like he has always belonged there.

// support me on ko-fi

run away like mercury – ephemeralsky – All For the Game – Nora Sakavic [Archive of Our Own]

Big shoutout to @requiemofkings for letting me run with their AU! The first part of this series (”wind me tighter than a wire”) is based on this wonderful fanart of theirs.

TWs: Violence, implied/referenced past sexual abuse, use of knives, implied/referenced alcoholism, character injury, descriptions of scars. Please let me know if you need me to add anything else.

****

It’s a game.

He knows this, and they know it too. He’s read something about this once, something about emotional labor, about selling something that you wouldn’t think money could buy. He’s seen documentaries about it too, about cabaret girls and host clubs and performances that begin when you step inside and end only when you leave.

What he does is different, but it is also the same. His role is easy: be sweet, attentive, docile, but never submit. Spin beautiful lies for them, make them feel good about themselves, and let them think that they have the upper-hand. He would cross one smooth leg over the other, flutter his eyelashes, and pull his lips into a jejune pout or a coquettish smile. They all like it when he plays hard-to-get too, pushing and pulling just enough to ensnare them in the game for however long he needs them to.

People always want what they can’t have.

And Neil is – well, he isn’t something that’s attainable. He’s fought his whole life to make sure that he doesn’t belong to anybody, shackled and tied down. Besides, there’s nothing worth attaining about him in the first place.

There are a few ground rules to this game, of course.

Nobody can touch him unless he allows it. The last person to touch him without his consent left the club with a broken wrist. It leaves the message unequivocally clear.

They can’t ask him personal questions. Things like his favorite food or favorite color can be made up on the spot, so this type of enquiries is fine. Things like his phone number or the stories behind his scars are shot down before they get a chance to form shapes and meaning in the air.

One of the most important rules is that those who come here for the entertainment should come here for the entertainment, and those who come here for business should come here for business. If they want both, then they have to come on different nights. This type is rare, though; a frosty information broker with a notorious past apparently leaves a longer impression than a kitschy show boy with fascinating scars and shapely legs.

This rule keeps everything in order, keeps things separate and easy to understand, the key ring that holds together different keys to different locks. This is important, because the rules for the other game are different.

In the second type of game, his role is much easier: be detached, professional, but never appear as a threat. Some easy rules apply to the customer: no weapons are allowed, and only a certain amount of time is allotted for each transaction, with only a certain number of people allowed to meet him face to face. He sells them whatever information they come to buy and they pay him whatever price he puts up, and both parties walk out the door satisfied. They don’t speak about anything business-related if they ever meet outside of business hours.

The rules that apply to both games are as such: never compromise, never play favorites, always be a neutral force.

He never bends these rules, until he does.

Keep reading

// Buy me a coffee?

run away like mercury – ephemeralsky – All For the Game – Nora Sakavic [Archive of Our Own]

are you taking prompts from the list you reblogged? if yes then #1 pls!

Hi! Thank you for sending me a prompt. I apologize that it took…3 months…to answer this….life has been crazy and I’ve been a lazy bitch who hasn’t been writing a lot. 

This fic is basically a sequel to this high school AU, but it can be read as a stand-alone as well. It’s a bit rushed because I just remembered this ask last night, but I hope you like it! And I guess I made it just in time-ish for @andreilweek – I saw the prompt ‘felony’ and decided that it can be used with the prompt that you sent me, which is “Didn’t you hear? You’re dead,” based on this list. Thanks again ❤

CW: Bullying, implied homophobia, references to child abuse

****

The thing about Andrew is that he is always watching.

“They’re not going to make it,” Neil predicts around a mouthful of popcorn, and true enough, the protagonist and his band of merry men indeed do not make it through the portal that would bring them to their home planet. While the characters on the television screen cuss and wallow at the face of adversity, Neil turns to Andrew. “These things are too predictable. Unrealistic too.”

Andrew hums in unspoken agreement, lightly kicking Neil’s foot so that he would return his attention back to the screen.

Andrew watches Neil as Neil watches the movie.

He doesn’t know how they went from having sparring and knife lessons to lying around in Andrew’s living room, but he doesn’t think it’s – bad. Not at all.

They usually meet up after school at the community gym in Andrew’s neighborhood, on days that Neil doesn’t have Math club activities. Neil teaches him how to handle a knife, and he teaches Neil how to hold his ground in a fistfight.

Neil was prickly and reluctant at first; Andrew had expected him to renege his part of the deal after a couple of sessions. His predictions never came true though, the hypotheses he spun crumbling away without any proof to support them. Neil has upheld his part of the bargain, and Andrew has upheld his.

Clipped retorts and heavy silence pervaded their meetings in the beginning. Then Andrew had asked, “Where did you learn how to use knives?” 

Neil’s entire frame had coiled with tension, snappable as a taut wire, and he had snarled, “It’s none of your business.”

Then he had turned away and quietly said, “My father.” He had looked at Andrew again and asked, “Why did they put you on medication?” 

Andrew’s mind had gone through a series of scenarios of how it could all play out depending on his answer. Surely Neil had learned the reason from the gossip mills at school: he had beaten four kids half to death in middle school, he’s violent, he’s crazy, he’s psychotic.

Then he had looked at Neil and said, “They misdiagnosed me, and they thought it could be a way to put a leash on me.”

It all came cascading down from there; a question for a question, a truth for a truth, a vulnerability for a vulnerability.

They are two kids who have grown too old, too fast.

Nowadays, after their training sessions, Neil follows him home. He queues up his favorite shows for Neil to watch and Neil queues up a string of biting commentary that is more entertaining than anything Andrew has on his Netflix account. Neil’s knowledge on popular culture isn’t limited like Andrew initially thought it was, but it is obscure and random, and Andrew learns as many new things as Neil does.  

They both startle when they hear the sound of jingling keys from the front door.

“Boys?” Nicky’s voice rings out as Andrew hits pause. “Are you home? I brought back some waffles from work.”

His cousin is home early today – he must’ve had a different shift. It shouldn’t send a stab of annoyance through Andrew, but it does; the disruption to his and Neil’s private time is not something he expected to deal with today.

Nicky bypasses the living room for the kitchen, the snick and thump of the refrigerator door opening and closing preceding his approaching footsteps.

“Andrew, why didn’t you answer when I – oh!” Nicky’s face changes from exasperation to absolute delight when he sees that Andrew isn’t alone on the couch. “Neil, I didn’t know you were here! How about some waffles? Have you had anything to drink?”

“I’m alright, thank you,” Neil says, shrinking into the couch, eyes on the carpet. He had pulled his hoodie up as soon as the locks to the front door had turned. This is his second time meeting Nicky, and it’s clear that he isn’t entirely comfortable in his presence just yet.

Instead of being pushy like Andrew predicted, Nicky’s garish grin softens. “Okay,” he says, almost gently, “let me know if you change your mind and want anything, alright? Feel free to stay for as long as you want.”

Andrew stares at him with his habitual look of indifference, but Nicky somehow catches on to the question in his eyes because he shrugs and says, “I took Mel’s shift today, so I finished early. Make sure you eat the waffles before we leave for Eden’s tonight, okay? And leave some for Aaron.”

Andrew gives a small nod, because he’s not a complete asshole who ignores his legal guardian all the time. Flashing Andrew a smile and an unsubtle nudge of his chin towards Neil, Nicky goes to his room.

His first meeting with Neil only occurred because Andrew had gotten his timing wrong – Nicky had just pulled out of the driveway in his mom’s old hatchback when Andrew rounded the corner into their street with Neil in the passenger seat. Nicky had skidded to a stop beside the car, window pulled down, and shouted, “Hi, there! Are you a friend of Andrew’s?”

He supposes that he can’t keep them from meeting for eternity, not if he plans on bringing Neil around so often.

Neil’s striking appearance alone hadn’t been enough of an incentive for Andrew to approach him, but his skills with a knife, his sharp tongue, the knowing glint in his eyes – they had lured Andrew in, and they provided the incentive he needed to start up an acquaintance, to prolong it. He would have been fine with watching from afar, with observing and collecting data, but he is bored, and Neil is interesting.

It’s a dangerous game he’s playing, he knows. He’s opening up parts of himself that he’s kept sealed shut for years and letting Neil see them. The fact that Neil is doing the same makes it even more dangerous, even more electrifying.

They are both still kids, in the end.

“Nicky seems…nice,” Neil mumbles, twisting the string of his hoodie around a finger.

“But you were nervous in his presence,” Andrew points out.

“I just thought that he would be mad, that you’re having me over.” Neil gives a one-shouldered shrug. “Before you, I had never been to a friend’s house, so I didn’t know what to expect, if a parent came home or something.”

Before you, he says, so honestly and easily. A friend, he says, so shyly and sweetly.

Andrew keeps his face still. He lightly kicks Neil’s foot again and resumes the movie, ignoring the way Neil’s lips curl into a faint smile and the way his palms are starting to feel sweaty. When Neil’s attention is back on the screen, Andrew swings his gaze back to Neil’s face.

The thing about Andrew is that he can’t stop watching, but he figures that if nobody else notices, it would not be a problem.

*

“I’ve noticed the way you keep looking at him,” Aaron tells him across the breakfast counter a week later.

So, it might be a problem.

Andrew continues scooping cereal into his mouth as if Aaron hadn’t spoken to him.

“People talk about it, you know. They say that you’re -” Aaron’s face screws into a tight grimace.

“That I am what?” Andrew prompts, a challenge in his calm voice.

Aaron glares at him, as if Andrew has ever been affected by it.

“That you’re gay,” Aaron spits out.

It’s not like Andrew has been keeping it a secret.

“And?”

His twin recoils. It truly is strange, to see a facsimile of himself undergo so many outward reactions and emotions. “So it’s true, then?”

“Shocked to be the token straight in the family?”

Aaron grits his teeth, annoyance written all over his face. “That’s not the point. I’m just trying to understand why you’re suddenly letting someone get all chummy with you, least of all someone like Josten.”

Andrew’s grip on his spoon tightens, but Aaron isn’t finished.

“The kid is suspicious as fuck, not to mention the scars on his -”

Andrew slams the metal spoon against the counter, the dissonant clang effectively shutting Aaron up. The dark look he sends Aaron’s way should be enough to swallow his brother whole; the source of his anger, boiling under his skin and threatening to ooze through his pores – it certainly feels like it could eat him from the inside out.

“I have never said anything about your tasteless choice in girls. I suggest you keep your mouth shut before I make you regret it.”

Aaron blinks, like he’s surprised by Andrew’s reaction. Andrew himself is a little taken aback by his measured outburst.

With a shake of his head, Aaron makes a cutting gesture and leaves the kitchen. “Fine. Do whatever you want.”

Nicky emerges next, yawning as he rubs his bleary eyes. “What happened? I heard you guys arguing.”

Andrew stares into his cereal bowl, corralling his emotions and locking them away.

Nicky sighs when he realizes that he won’t get an answer. “Just don’t go to school first and leave him behind like you did last time, okay?”

Which is exactly what Andrew does, of course.

He finds Neil frowning into his locker as other students bustle down the hallway. He leans against the locker next to Neil’s, completely forgoing his own. Neil glances at him, but the frown doesn’t disappear.

“Those assholes,” he mutters.

Andrew peers into the locker to inspect what damage has been done to Neil’s belongings today. A grainy photo of him is put up among a few candles and some chrysanthemums to resemble a shrine for the deceased; they must have broken into his locker to set it up. As unimaginative as always.

Neil snuffs out the candles with a few blows before grabbing a textbook and banging his locker shut.

“Rest in peace,” Andrew says blandly.

“I’m dead inside anyway,” Neil says wryly, turning towards the direction of his class, “so I guess this is just swell.”

Andrew grips his elbow to stop him from walking, swivelling him back around until that they’re standing toe to toe. He takes inventory, eyes raking all over Neil’s body and face. When he finds no injury, he lets go, ignoring the puzzled look Neil gives him.   

He walks him to his classroom and goes to his own, slumping down on his sequestered seat at the back. 

The small group of football jocks that have been targeting Neil since early in the year are a nuisance more than anything. Their tactics are predictable, and they haven’t tried to lay a finger on Neil ever since Neil slashed their leader’s hand and punched his face in while Andrew knocked out a few of his friends. Andrew has also planted the seeds to one of their school’s hottest gossips: Neil Josten is under Andrew Minyard’s protection, and Andrew Minyard is a monster, so you better think twice before you touch what’s his.

As long as they stick to their childish bullying, Andrew won’t have to keep them in line. 

It is, however, getting insurmountably annoying. 

Two weeks ago, they stole Neil’s textbooks and dumped them in the pond at the back of the school. A month ago, they spray-painted the gym wall with Neil’s name and a few misspelled slurs. Two months ago, they trashed the Math club’s activity room and pissed all over the geometric equipment.

He thinks it’s high time someone teaches them a lesson.

During lunch, he goes up to the roof to find Neil already waiting for him. They’re the only two people at school who ever climb up here, since they’re the only two people at school who know how to pick locks. Neil passes him the peanut butter and jelly sandwich his uncle made and Andrew passes him the fruit salad Nicky packed, and they eat in silence until Neil starts talking about the bake sale his club is organizing at the end of the week.

“Andrew? Are you listening?”

Andrew glances to the left, then to the right, expression unchanged. “I hear something.”

A frown takes over Neil’s face. “Me. I’m speaking. You’re hearing me.”

Andrew meets his gaze. “Didn’t you hear? You’re dead. And the dead cannot speak.”

“Hilarious,” Neil deadpans. He stabs a piece of mango with his fork and chews on it, the lines on his face indicating that he’s deep in thought. Andrew studies each one, itches to reach out and run his fingers over them.

“You know,” Neil says slowly, “the school year is almost ending.”

“I am aware,” Andrew replies, focused on the way Neil’s plush lips are glistening with fruit juice.  

“Jefferson is graduating,” Neil continues, toying with his fork, the metal glinting in the sunlight as it rolls over supple fingers. “And we haven’t given him a goodbye present yet.”

His eyes dart up to meet Andrew’s, a dangerous gleam in them, and Andrew cottons on to what he is saying.

“That cannot do,” he tells Neil.

“No,” Neil concurs, “it can’t.”

“Not when he has been so generous with you these past few months.”

“Oh, yes. My chemistry textbook is still moist from its trip to the pond.”

Andrew feels the prickle of excitement at the base of his spine. He hasn’t felt it in years. “I suppose we have to return the favor.”

Neil smiles, sharp as the penknife he always carries in his pocket. “Yes,” he agrees, “I suppose we do.”

*

They frame him for inappropriate use of performance-enhancing drugs.

Andrew gets the supply from one of the servers who works at Eden’s Twilight with him, and Neil plants the evidence, slipping in and out of the football locker room like an elegant fox.

It’s easy, and it’s worth it.

He gets into a ton of trouble for it, but not enough to jeopardize his entire future in football. 

A shame, really.

But Andrew lets it go, because Neil seems pleased enough by the whole shitstorm, smiling to himself after they hear that a few schools have withdrawn their athletic scholarship offers.  

On the last day of school, they decide to steal his friend’s car.

Davis drives a BMW 4-series Gran Coupe and parks it in his driveway. Andrew breaks into the car, and Neil hotwires it.

As they blow through the neighborhood, Neil laughs, the sound as tantalizing as the first time Andrew heard it. 

They leave the car in a playground on the other side of the city; the plan was never to keep it, only to fuck around with Davis.

Neil calls a cab to take them back to Andrew’s place because his uncle is a rich businessman who gives him a generous allowance – even though his drab wardrobe suggests otherwise. In the backseat of the cab, Andrew observes the way the city lights dance around Neil’s face in a kaleidoscope of neon colors.

They try to move soundlessly as they enter the house. Aaron and Nicky should be back from Eden’s Twilight by now, and while they’re deep sleepers, Andrew doesn’t want to risk waking them up and having them pry into his business.

They’re at the top of the stairs when Aaron’s door swings open. He notices them when he crosses the hall to the bathroom, his body going stiff. His face, after the initial surprise disappears, morphs into a scowl.

“So you skipped work to hang out with your boyfriend?”

Before Andrew can tug Neil into his room and ignore his brother like he usually does, Neil shoots back with, “What’s it to you, asshole?”

Anger flares up in Aaron’s eyes, hot and quick, his curled fists shaking. Jaw clenched, he bites out, “It’s nothing to me.”

He returns to his room, slamming the door shut.

Neil sighs, all sense of antagonism leaving him. “I don’t get your brother.”

Andrew doesn’t either, but that is not an issue he needs to deal with tonight. His fingers circle around Neil’s thin wrist as he leads them to his room.

He flicks the light on while Neil flops onto his bed, shirt riding up to expose a strip of his flat stomach. Andrew forces himself to look away, taking off his shoes and carefully lowering himself next to Neil.

Neil looks up at him, a small smile playing over his lips. “I had fun.”

“I did, too,” Andrew says, allowing himself to admit as much. He finds that he wants to tell Neil these things, to share them with him.

“I’m glad you did.” Neil curls up on his side, pillowing an arm under his head. He looks soft, body relaxed over Andrew’s bedsheets.

Andrew’s hand twitches, and he feels like he is about to do something very, very stupid. He abruptly stands, goes over to his drawers, snatches a change of clothes, and hurls them at Neil.

“Go,” he orders, pointing to the door.

Neil obeys, going out to the bathroom, his lips still curled around a smile. Andrew avoids meeting his eyes for a while, so it isn’t until he himself returns from his trip to the bathroom that he notices that Neil has removed his contact lenses.

It’s the second time Andrew’s seen his real eye color, a chilling blue that stands stark against the amber of his hair. He sits cross-legged on the bed, his phone in his hands.

“Your uncle?” Andrew asks.

Neil nods. “I texted him to let him know that I’ll be spending the night here.”

Andrew doesn’t ask anything further, but Neil explains, “He won’t mind. He’s actually glad that I’m out socializing.” With a shrug, Neil drops his phone onto the mattress. “He can be so weird about it sometimes.”

Aside from the fact that Neil’s parents are both dead and that his uncle is now his legal guardian, Andrew doesn’t know much else about Neil’s family life. The rumor which states that Neil is the son of a crime lord is debunked when Andrew asked him about it and he said that his father was less of a gangster and more of a deranged man who had an unhealthy obsession with knives; hence, the scars on the right side of his face. He left the circumstances of his parents’ deaths vague, but Andrew doesn’t need to know much else; he is satisfied just from knowing that Neil’s uncle doesn’t mistreat him.  

After all, Neil didn’t press him about the details surrounding the death of Aaron’s mother; he had simply stared at Andrew with calm understanding and moved on.

Right now, he’s staring at Andrew with droopy eyes and a content smile. He’s dressed in Andrew’s clothes and perched on Andrew’s bed – and really, nothing could be worse than this. 

He scrounges his closet for a spare futon and blanket, throwing them on the floor.

“Sleep,” he says, and Neil nods, sliding off his bed with a yawn.

After switching off the light, Andrew crawls under the covers and lies on his side, back against the wall and face turned towards where Neil is. His eyes adjust to the dark, and he makes out the outline of Neil’s sleeping face with the help of the street light filtering in from the window.

The thing about Andrew is that he doesn’t want to stop watching, and he thinks that it’s definitely become a problem.    

****

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ETA: Here is part 3! 

a world alone – Chapter 6 – ephemeralsky – All For the Game – Nora Sakavic [Archive of Our Own]

Chapters: 6/6
Fandom: All For the Game – Nora Sakavic
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Characters: Andrew Minyard, Nicky Hemmick, Neil Josten, Kevin Day, David Wymack, Renee Walker (All For The Game), Laila Dermott, Alvarez (All For the Game), Jean Moreau, Betsy Dobson, Original Characters, Allison Reynolds (All For The Game), Robin Cross, Jeremy Knox, Aaron Minyard
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe – High School, Slow Burn, terrible flirting between adult men, POV Andrew Minyard, Softe things, Pining, Alternate Universe – Teachers
Chapter Summary:

Threats are once again made. Christmas gifts are exchanged. Phone bills are accrued. Questions are asked and answers are given. There is a cat and an epilogue.

Links to previous chapters: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 

It’s finally done!!!!!!! 

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a world alone – Chapter 6 – ephemeralsky – All For the Game – Nora Sakavic [Archive of Our Own]

the way you say I love you, combine 24,and 23 for andreil?

23: Through a song + 24: Without really meaning it

Thank you for the prompt! This… is probably not what you wanted, but I couldn’t figure out other ways to make it work aside from this, and then I got carried away and incorporated this amazing au by @requiemofkings – thank you for letting me write a fic based on your au!! – and so here we are. I hope you enjoy ❤

CW: implied self-harm/suicide attempt, references to child trafficking, implied/mentions of violence

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The strobe lights paint the night club in a throbbing mass of purple and blue, the dancing bodies pulsing in and out of the darkness with each flash of light. Techno music pounds in Andrew’s ears like a mallet as he shoulders his way across the dance floor towards the bar, sleek dark wood that curves along two adjacent walls, stocked from floor to ceiling with alcohol. 

Even with his athletic build, Kevin struggles to keep up with Andrew’s exodus from the crowd. The air-conditioning does very little to stop beads of perspiration from forming along Andrew’s hairline. Trapped in a mass of dancing humans and suffocated by body heat, he is reminded of why he has stopped visiting these types of establishments. The long hours and unending pile of cases courtesy of his job only made the decision easier. 

When they’re finally freed from the masses, they keep to the outskirts of the dancefloor and walk along the bar. Andrew flags down one of the bartenders, a petite woman with light brown hair, bright red lipstick, a mini black dress, and a placid expression. 

“What can I get you?”

Before Kevin can open his mouth, Andrew says, “A ginger highball.”

“Got it.”

As the woman prepares the drink, Kevin hisses, “What are you doing?”

“Ordering a drink,” Andrew answers in a bored tone, leaning against the bar. 

“We’re on duty!”

Andrew flicks his fingers up at Kevin as if to say so?

Kevin puffs out his chest, a sign that he is about to unleash a winded lecture on Andrew’s work ethics. Andrew cleaves this chance off with a calm, “Is that him?”

Kevin’s mouth clicks shut as he looks to where Andrew’s eyes are focused on: a stoop-shouldered man clad in all black, standing at the other end of the bar with a broody expression on his face. He looks like the grim reaper if the grim reaper was a lanky man with pale skin, jet-black hair, and knobbly hands that can whip up drinks at an efficient speed. 

“No, that’s not him,” Kevin says, unexpectedly solemn. Andrew lifts an eyebrow at the hard line of Kevin’s lips. There’s a story there somewhere, but Andrew won’t make it easy for him by asking what it is.

The drink arrives as Andrew scans the club. It’s a snazzy two-storey establishment with tasteful decor and tight security; the bouncers at the entrance only let them in because Kevin had muttered a Japanese phrase, some sort of code that let them know that Kevin was on the inside. Until three days ago, Andrew didn’t even know that Kevin was on the inside. In a drunken stupor, Kevin had proposed they go to La Tanière to break through the dead-end in their most recent case. 

“I know somebody there. He could – he could help us out,” he had slurred, slumped against the toilet bowl in Andrew’s bathroom. 

Andrew had been mildly skeptical and mostly incensed, the former due to a couple of incidents where they had been misled by anonymous tip-offs and the latter due to the revelation that Kevin is still in contact with Moriyama people. He shouldn’t really care; their deal ended a while ago and he isn’t responsible for Kevin’s safety anymore. 

At least, that’s how it’s supposed to be. 

But Andrew had acknowledged that they were running in circles, stuck inside a quagmire of a maze, and they had brought the idea to Wymack, the captain of their precinct. His face had hardened, so much so that Andrew had pondered over the possibility of it being stuck that way, but in the end, he had granted them permission to go on with the plan. 

With his gaze flitting over the faces on the dancefloor, Kevin says, “It shouldn’t be too hard to find him, since he’s -”

The music cuts off and a high-pitched squeal erupts from the microphone in the middle of the stage. Instinctively, all eyes travel to the stage on the opposite side of the club, Andrew’s included. A dark-haired woman in a long black dress has the mic, smiling broadly as the dancing ceases. Her voice, when she speaks, is low and calm like an untouched pond.

“Esteemed guests, I present you to tonight’s scheduled performance.” 

With that brief introduction, the overhead lights dim. There’s a ripple of murmur, the sound loud without the music to drown them out. Andrew is taking a slow sip of his drink when a spotlight beams onto a figure at the center of the stage, their top hat obscuring their face. With a gloved finger to their smiling lips, curled like a secret, they tip their head up, the scars on their cheeks made stark by the glaring spotlight. A hands-free microphone curves over their defined jaw.

“That’s him,” Kevin says, but Andrew barely hears him.

Keep reading 

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