Tag: andrew minyard

i.
mornings are stuttering things.
there’s the sun, slow and creeping as it pulls up;
there’s the quiet, subtle and soft enough to be notable;
and then there’s you, with heavy bones and that sinking feeling.

the first moments are such unsure things—
where are you, exactly?  is the skin you’re in your own today?
your memory is perfect, your mind is not;
everything is hazy and spinning, and you have to orient yourself.
this is the routine.

you never know whether you’ll wake up and be yourself.
but the sun always rises.

ii.
he is so—
fuck, he is so infuriating, that’s what he is.
he doesn’t know when to shut his mouth,
doesn’t care for seeing how high the risk is.
he’s a liar and a fool.
he feels like war,
(and he tastes like eden.)

he’d walk through hell and back for you, you know?
he’d see it burning, maybe he even set the fire,
and he’d know it would hurt.  how many times has he been burned?
you’ve seen his scars, he’s lived through the memory of them,
and he’d still walk straight through the flame for you.
he is reliable.  a constant.  he won’t change;
he is always going to be a problem.

because you would do the same for him.

iii.
endings are something you are familiar with.
you’ve witnessed enough of them,
caused enough of them,
come close to having enough of them.
life is so fickle, so fragile.

a hammer hits a mirror, and the glass warps before it shatters.
those last moments are haunting, lilted.
like you— casually cruel.
it’s the shake and the shudder, the final plea.
the last of life is unforgivingly honest.
death is a stuttering thing.

sunrise, abram, death // es
(via reynclds07)

ravencourtmemories:

So I’m at that scene in book 2 when Neil is going off on Andrew at Exites for not caring about himself or wanting to save himself, you know, right before The Moment of Intense UST?

Anyway that triggered the memory of Andrew’s ‘this could be a problem’ moment from Nora’s extra content so I went to look for it and this is what it says:

“The first time Andrew saw Neil without his medication blurring his judgment, he thought, This could be a problem, but he did not take it seriously then.”

And so I had my normal reaction to it (nioce, nioce) until I realized something. I’ve assumed this whole time she meant this at the start of Kings Men but it says ‘THE FIRST TIME Andrew saw Neil without his medication…’

The FIRST time.

Do you guys know when that was? Chapter 2. Of The Foxhole Court. Book 1.

I want you to imagine Andrew Minyard waiting in that airport for Neil and seeing him for only the SECOND TIME and thinking ‘this could be a problem’

Just think about the level of frustration he felt being attracted to this mysterious guy while also being incredibly suspicious of him.

P L E A S E THINK ABOUT HOW NEIL WAS INTERESTING TO HIM WHEN ON THE MEDICATION AS WELL.

So what I’m saying is, Andrew wanted Neil wether on the drugs or not, he found him endlessly frustrating and incredibly stupid and he liked him oh so very much and he really hated that.

He never stood a chance.

i.
he’s problematic.
you know it, you know it, day one, you know.
he’s trouble in every sense of the word.
he’ll burn your whole world with no remorse
and you probably won’t even mind it, because hey,
it’d be interesting.
(he’d be interesting.)
you’ll watch your world turn to ash, and then
you’ll watch his eyes glow in the dancing flames.

oh, the things he could do to you.
oh, the trouble he could cause you.

ii.
of course, he’s a liar.
they’re all liars.  no one’s honest, of course, of course.
definitely not him, definitely not you.
but he’s more than that, isn’t he?
because trouble doesn’t just lie, trouble
goes to lengths too far to mask the truth. trouble
is burned trails and locked safes and carefully dyed hair.  trouble
is a past desperately buried, gasping, scared.

trouble is a rabbit that knows all too well what it’s like for a fox to pounce on it.
(a fox,
like you.)

iii.
he’s entertaining, right?
there’s always another surprise, always another secret.
there are skeletons under his bed and monsters in his closet,
smoke rising in his wake.
he’s a rabbit, he’s scared, he ought to be.
a man who can’t keep his mouth shut,
a man who doesn’t know when to quit,
a man who has stopped counting risks—

a man like that has a target on his back,
and the bullet’s already been fired.

iv.
he’s dangerous.
he’s too smart, too quick, too willing to walk through fire to save you.
(to save anyone, come on, where’d your perspective go)
when did he become the fox?

he’s a liar but so are you, you know you are
(lying by omission is still lying, where’d your goddamn perspective go)
he’s working his way around all your secrets,
finding all the things you won’t say,
all the things you won’t admit,
not even to yourself.
it’s just twisted enough to feel right.

v.
how long until you’ll admit it to yourself?
you’re not scared of heights, you’re scared of
falling, you’re scared of him.
you’re scared of what this is, of what this means.
you’re scared of the fact that you stick up for him, too, now,
scared of the fact that you’re seeing this sober,
feeling this sober.
scared that maybe this wasn’t a hallucination after all.

you’ve never liked problems.  problems are things to be dealt with,
in any way you see fit.
(you should stop that.  he’s seen enough blood spilled in his life,
are you really going to add to that?)
he is a problem and it scares you.
he is a problem and a liar, but
you’re amused.  you are, you know you are,
you’re amused you’re entertained you’re scared.

you have a list of things that he is.
that is not nothing.

admit it.

90% of the time, you’re lying to yourself // es

(via

reynclds07

)

The Foxhole Court Thoughts

kells-coat:

My favorite thing about the All For the Game series is how like… no one understands Andrew. They go on and on about how Andrew just does things that doesn’t make sense and he does unforgivable, senseless, violent things

and then Neil comes along. Neil whose mother beat him to keep him alive, who in her own violent way loved him even if it made him hate her and traumatized him, who couldn’t afford to be gentle even if she had the capacity for it. 

He knows violence as an act of affection and protection when he sees it.

He recognizes that when Andrew kills Tilda, it wasn’t for himself because Andrew accepts violence towards himself as a normal part of his life and he could care less. It was to protect Aaron, his brother. He realizes that when Andrew tells Aaron to “Fuck off” when they first find each other, it wasn’t for any other reason but that Andrew was willing to suffer alone to keep Aaron safe from Drake’s abuse. Andrew goes back with Aaron to Tilda’s home where he knows that he isn’t wanted, that he’s hated even, to protect him from her heavy hand. Aaron, who was only ever hit out of resentment rather than survival, can’t understand that level of caring. 

He can see that when Andrew beats strangers for assaulting his cousin, it wasn’t to protect his own sexual identity, it was to protect his cousin, his family, even if he doesn’t believe in blood relatives. Nicky, who was never hit by his parents (that we know of, at least), whose familial abuse was verbal and psychological and emotional rather than physical, knows that Andrew was protecting him but didn’t see it as anything more than Andrew being territorial, of protecting his things rather than protecting someone he cares about because, let’s be real, Andrew would not tolerate Nicky or protect him if he didn’t care about him; if they had had a deal like Aaron or Kevin or Neil, I’m sure we would have known about it. He may be a complete asshole to Nicky and treated him like he was an outsider, but I don’t remember reading any part of their relationship as some kind of deal. 

If Nicky was anyone else, Andrew would hate him but Nicky moved all the way back from Germany where he was loved and happy and alive to help Andrew and Andrew, although he doesn’t show it, has accepted Nicky as family and cares for him. Andrew cares about Nicky because Nicky cared about him first, after Cass, Nicky was the first one to treat Andrew like he was family and care about him regardless of how broken he was. Yes, he pulls a knife on Nicky when he’s hitting on Neil and although that was probably because of Aaron’s comment about rape or that he himself found Neil attractive, I think part of it was Andrew’s distrust of Neil in the beginning, that he didn’t know if Neil was dangerous. He didn’t want Nicky to get too comfortable around someone he didn’t trust. 

but Neil

Neil sees Andrew’s fathomless rage and loss of control after Baltimore and he sees his threats, and very clear warnings of “Get away from us” as he is supposed to: Andrew, despite what he says, cares about a very few select people and he will do anything and everything to protect them no matter what it costs him, and no matter how much it could hurt him because his own pain is irrelevant. Neil understands why Andrew is violent, he understands that it isn’t senseless, that it isn’t to hurt Neil or Nicky or Aaron or Kevin, it’s to protect. Andrew’s violence makes perfect sense to him and it is the only way he can show how he feels because he’s been so broken so many times that all that is left is a the violence he needs to protect. It isn’t until Neil that Andrew has another way to show that he cares, a new way only for him: kisses and touches and keys, and of course trust. 

Neil understands Andrew which is why he can get Andrew to back down and give ground when he needs to and it’s also why Andrew let’s him, it’s why Andrew let’s him in and why it’s okay to be quasi-intimate with Neil. It’s why they work. For the first time violent affection doesn’t leave scars on Neil’s skin and for the first time someone understands Andrew enough that he doesn’t have to explain himself. 

Okay but what about this prompt: Andrew has to wear glasses, like HAS to. I mean he has contacts for the games but.. ANDREW AND GLASSES!

ziegenkind:

philosophium:

@wymack AND I LOVE ANDREW WITH GLASSES FUCK WE’VE TALKED ABOUT THIS SO MUCH

  • so Andrew is the twin with the really bad eyesight like it’s fucking horrible okay he can only see like really blurry shapes and colors if he’s not wearing glasses/contacts
  • Aaron takes pleasure in reminding Andrew how blind he is but that’s a different story
  • so anyway, Neil has never ever seen Andrew with glasses because Andrew hates his glasses and even though contacts irritate the shit out of his eyes he will put up with the pain and annoyance just so that he doesn’t have to fucking wear his glasses
  • Aaron, Nicky, and Kevin are the only ones who know how fucking blind he is (because people having that knowledge is not good in Andrew’s opinion because it’s a weakness and something they could exploit over him)
  • sometimes Andrew stumbles around in the mornings as he makes his way into the bathroom because he refuses to put his glasses on
  • okay but I want you to imagine
  • two days after Neil and Aaron switch rooms, an exhausted Andrew comes out of the bedroom with glasses on, and Neil is making coffee in the kitchenette and just generally being loud as fuck
  • Andrew glares at Neil from the entryway and when there’s a pause in grinding the beans Andrew just says “What the fuck, Neil.”
  • Neil turns and almost drops the fucking coffee grinds everywhere because holy shit Andrew is wearing glasses
  • Neil opens his mouth and Andrew is like “don’t fucking speak”
  • too late Neil’s already whispered “you look so hot in those” because he does, Andrew looks sO ATTRACTIVE in glasses like poor Neil just cannot handle this level of attraction
  • Andrew doesn’t even deign to roll his eyes like he just fucking leaves and goes to the bathroom
  • BUT ANDREW DOESN’T TAKE OFF HIS GLASSES
  • he wears them for the rest of the fucking day because it’s Saturday or whatever and they don’t have practice but they end up running into the rest of the Foxes (duh, when do they ever not see each other)
  • no one knows what to think???? because “what Andrew needs glasses???” and also “fuck this boy looks so much softer in glasses???” (”And hotter!” Allison yells from the back)
  • and thus Andrew wears his glasses (and buys newer Hotter™ ones just for Neil) whenever he’s not on the court
  • anyway yes i fully support Andrew needing glasses 100% i need more of this
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