Tag: andrew minyard

vive-lanuit:

The thing that gets me about Andrew Minyard is … at the beginning of The Foxhole Court I really really didn’t like him. He was an asshole, he didn’t care about anyone (so I thought) and he was just … I just didn’t GET him. And that’s where the Upperclassmen still are, because they don’t care or don’t want to look further (plus: Andrew doesn’t care for anything that would make it easier to approach and understand him). That’s why they still think he’s a soulless monster (EVEYRTIME someone calls Andrew a monster I wanna yell “HE’S NOT!!!!!”).

But we get Neil’s pov. We get to know Andrew better, to get to know him AT ALL basically, and to understand him because Neil does. Because Neil is the first one to care enough and to be curious and persistent enough to do so. Having Neil’s pov gives us the opportunity to read one of the most amazing character arcs/character developments/character designs I ever came across in literature (simply because there is somone who makes the effort to LOOK).

I think I love Andrew Minyard so goddamn much because Neil does. Because I think it’s absolutely impossible to not-love Andrew when you see him through Neil’s eyes – the only eyes that see Andrew for who he really is. And I think this is beautiful.

romanoba:

  • oh my god
  • imagine established sugar addict andrew minyard starts carrying around lollipops
  • and sucking on them all the time
  • literally All The Time.
  • (when they’re not in practice or sleeping or eating or Doing Stuff.)
  • (he wants to cut down on smoking and the lollipops are a substitute)
  • (as much as he loves to tune out kevin’s constant health talk he does see the merits of a Healthy Lung as an athlete)
  • the first time neil witnesses it it almost gives him a stroke
    • nicky, matt and neil watching tv on the couch eating take out
    • andrew walks in with the lollipop in his cheek
    • neil freezes with the fork half way to his mouth
    • nicky almost chokes on a spring roll
    • matt doesn’t realize at first
    • when he does and finally overcomes his shellshock
    • he sprints of to tell the girls
    • nobody is ok
  • the second time it happens isn’t much better
  • andrew knows what he’s doing

  • neil has to conceal so many fuckign boners
  • he dies a little more inside everytime it happens
  • it leads to heavy, not family friendly make-out sessions on the roof
  • nicky continues to not being able to believe this is actually happening
  • kevin is conflicted over andrew smoking less vs. this shitshow of sexual tension at night practice
  • aaron is Disgusted
  • allison wins a few entailing bets
  • (andrew has little sense of self-preservation but he’s also not stupid)
    • (he gets sugar free lollipops)
  • (when neil retaliates everything gets So Much Worse)

deadravenkings:

“If it means losing you, then no.”

“violent delights have violent ends.”
you laughed the first time you heard this.
you are well acquainted with violent ends,
violent beginnings, violent middles—
they don’t call you “monster” for no reason—
but damn if there isn’t anything more foreign to you than a “violent delight.”
you’ve always been one step ahead of everybody, though.
so you think of it as skipping step one,
getting a head start,
and saving yourself the inevitable heartache.
(what you don’t know is that this isn’t a race that you can win)


“violent delights have violent ends”
to have a violent end, you must first have a violent start.
but you know better than anybody else
the anatomy of a violent start:
you kick off your day with cold sweats in bed
and flashbacks of hands, hands, hands—
You swallow your pills
and chase them down with anxiety techniques,
scrub out that awful taste in your mouth
and stow your sorrow in the bags under your eyes.
the sun isn’t even up yet
and you’re already itching to put your fist through a wall.
you look at your brother sleeping in the bed across the room
and wonder if your first act of violence
had been shoving him aside so you could enter the world first.
you think you’re starting to become too good at violent starts.


“violent delights have violent ends”
you think about violent middles for a second,
but oh, wait, here comes somebody new:
another violent start.
and you decide that this time your “hello”
is a racquet to the stomach—
is him doubling over, world crackling black,
barely holding himself together.
“nice to meet you” comes out as “fuck you” and
“my name’s andrew” is a promise for
collateral damage and complications.
“i’d like to get to know you better” sounds a lot like
“oh, oh you might actually turn out to be interesting.”
but you tell yourself that this is nothing—
just another harrowing feeling that you’ll burry
because you’re acutely aware that nothing will ever come from it.
(nothing ever does)


“violent delights have violent ends”
and you had convinced yourself that you wouldn’t ever get a violent delight—
had told yourself that those were reserved for people who had souls—
but, baby, you’ve been a liar for as long as you can remember.
you’re pathological, obsessive, habitual.
this is a violent delight, this isn’t a violent delight.
you want a violent delight, you can’t ever have a violent delight.
even now you can’t tell which is the biggest lie.
if you’re being honest about one thing, let it be this:
you are absolutely terrified of this boy.
you are horrified of what he’s doing to you.
you want to go back.
you want this feeling to stop.


“violent delights have violent ends”
he is everything you’ve told yourself you could never have,
he is milk and honey and he is hope,
he is hands that don’t make you want to recoil.
he is keys and stay, stay, stay.
he is teeth on lips and skin against skin.
you can feel yourself blooming from the inside out every time you touch.
he says he wants to be inside you,
and you hand him the knife and tell him to start carving.
(but darling, i have to warn you:
he might taste like honey—
sweet and delicious and nice sliding down your throat,
but too much will make you absolutely sick.
be careful.
don’t get greedy.
don’t get hooked on something as dangerous as that.)


“violent delights have violent ends”
you feel warm.
no, you feel hot.
too hot.
you’re burning.
you’re exploding.
you’re ruining yourself repeatedly over this boy.
you’re thinking that this isn’t the story that you wanted—
you want something better,
you want to not be afraid of this,
you want to not want this.
“help me” sounds an awful lot like “i hate you”


“violent delights have violent ends”
he’s at 100% and you’re tired.
(but 9% of the time you think that killing him is the one thing
that you won’t be able to come back from— he’s the one thing it might hurt to lose.
8% of the time he feels like falling,
but for somebody who’s terrified of heights, that’s a terrible and frightening sensation.)
you’re at 100% and you’re scared,
because you finally realized that there’s no going back from this.
you got your violent delights— you got him , and you got love, and you loved in return.
too fast, too much, too soon.
you don’t know what the word “moderation” means when it comes to him.
you will burn up in victory.
but you’re starting to think that you won’t mind—
you have him. he has you. everything else is background noise.
love-destroying death can do whatever it pleases.
suddenly, a violent end doesn’t seem so bad when it comes to him.

“I hate you.”

minyardandrew:

hemmick:

yuo do n ot know how bad im crying

okay im crying over this again because like…holy shit, neil gets it. he understands and hes digging into places he shouldnt be able to and hes saying things that he shouldnt be and it messes me up bc in the end neil is actually the one who wants to stay with andrew and came back to him and will always be with him now even through all of the bad shit and andrew has never had this and doesn’t know what the fuck to think and he hates him

i rarely add anything to a post but fuck it, this hurts and i have so many Feels about this. when andrew says “stay” and asks “what will it take to make you stay?”, do you think a subconscious part of him wants neil to actually stay? that he’s not just saying these things as part of his deal with neil? and i don’t think andrew realizes how much of “you were supposed to be a side effect of the drugs” and “you are a pipe dream” reveal; they reveal that andrew thinks neil is too good to be true, that one day, inevitably, neil will disappear and leave like all the others, because he thinks neil is not real and he’s just something andrew’s brain conjured because of the drugs. how important was it to andrew to have neil say “i am not a pipe dream. i’m not going anywhere”? how badly did he need to hear those words, even though he knows that he shouldn’t have his hopes up, if there are any feelings of hope in the first place? he knows better than to do this, and yet.