Tag: andrew minyard

a page out of andrew minyard’s diary

henriettafoxes:

may 1, 2008

dear diary, 

neil is the worst fucking thing to ever happen to me. here’s a list of things i hate about him and reasons why he’s the worst. 

  1. the way his stupid sparkly blue eyes look when he talks about exy. i have never described anything as sparkly in my entire life.
  2. his smile. it’s too fucking bright
  3. i hate his goddamn mouth 
  4. especially when it’s open and words are coming out
  5. his ass and his thighs are way too unreal, i don’t believe it
  6. his stupid fucking auburn hair and the way it curls around his goddamn ears. fuck you neil
  7. that godforsaken orange bandana he always wears to keep it pushed back
  8. his freckles are annoying and i hate them 
  9. he sometimes has a british accent and he sounds pretentious as fuck and not attractive at all, i have to kiss him just to shut him up
  10. the fact that he’s three inches taller than me and he has to lean down to kiss me is disgusting 
  11. so is the way he grabs my fucking chin
  12. i fucking hate that orange is his favorite color and i will kill him in his sleep when he’s wearing his dumb orange pajamas
  13. he never says no
  14. he calls me drew all the time. where did he even get it from. fuck off
  15. he won’t stop antagonizing people on live tv and it will get him killed someday and i’ll have to kill whoever’s killing him, the thought alone is exhausting
  16. every time i willingly say the word exy he looks like he wants to make out with me. what is wrong with him.
  17. he wakes me up every time he goes for a run at the asscrack of dawn and he kisses my forehead when i tell him to fuck off and i want to punch him
  18. every time i stop a goal during a game he gives me this motherfucking look and if he doesn’t stop i will gut him
  19. he doesn’t like ice cream but he buys it all the time and our freezer is stocked with it. i don’t know what kind of game he thinks he’s playing but he can stop right now
  20. his goddamn fucking neck fetish.

neil abram josten is a jackass and he has ruined my life and i’m stuck with him forever now because apparently i was cursed by some unknown entity. anyway i have to go because he just came home from class and the demon in control of my body says i have to go kiss him. i hate my life.

(inspired by this post. thanks to @dancyon @rians–world and @steampunkburie for your contributions!! love y’all)

aymmidumps:

just being real with all of you, i know Andrew and Kevin had a deal that was like very in depth bc they promised each other something, but you cannot deny Andrew half agreed too because Kevin was hot and his gay ass won that round.

Andrew: yeah sure w/e i’ll protect you. you can stay [internally: only because you’re pretty enough to keep around]
[later]
Andrew: i’m actually a fucking moron and regret this immensely

hemminicky:

Headcanon that people start telling the twins apart because Aaron is regular beefy but Andrew is extra beef™

#I need more fanart and edits where Andrew is just a god damn brick#muscles with the consistency of dark German whole-grain bread#shaped like the complete Encyclopedia Britannica in one volume#the dictionary definition of an absolute unit#fantasy painters want to use him as a template for their dwarven warrior king art#looking like a blonde comic-accurate Wolverine