IM LAUGHING SO HARD I DIDNT THINK SEXUAL DESIRE WAS A REAL THING LIKE I ALWAYS SAW PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT HOW THEY WANTED SEX BUT I THOUGHT THEY WERE JOKING OR EXAGGERATING OR SOMETHING THATS WHY IT WAS SO HARD FOR ME TO REALIZE I WAS ACE BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WENT WITHOUT SAYING SEX ISNT THAT IMPORTANT IM 19 YEARS OLD I CANT STOP LAUGHING LITERALLY 99% OF THE POPULATION EXPERIENCES SEXUAL DESIRE AND I THOUGHT IT WAS A JOKE
This is pretty much the definition of being an ace person, tbh, and I’m so glad.
this is literally the #that sounds fake but okay meme im dying
#ME#I THOUGHT SEXUAL ATTRACTION WAS RARE#AKA#HOW TO FIND OUT YOU’RE DEMI (via @miseryauthoress)
Honestly, every single cheating plotline never made sense because “but why do you have to have sex with them? just don’t??”
^^^^ Every single cheating plot line ever I was like: What is so hard about keeping your pants on what is your problem??
…do you have any idea how hard it is to do literary criticism that will get published when your reaction to at least 75% of character motivations is this makes no sense whatsoever why do they even care?
When people ask you why you don’t date someone just to try, and when you answer that well you’re not interested in that person, they explain that usually you don’t like the person at first, but you might fall in love after having dated a little while
and you’re just?????? but what?????????? is the point of dating someone if you don’t like them??????????????
what do you mean the point is making out and sex????????? why would i want to do that with someone i don’t already like?????????
I have literally experienced all of these.
this is why the gay/straight test always bothered me, like you kissed one person?? you weren’t attracted to?? therefore you’re straight? or i guess gay, i know people will test by kissing the opposite gender too, but like. kissing someone won’t make you attracted to them. you have to be attracted to them first, then you get a reaction and want to kiss them. at least that’s how i think it works, since, it’s never happened to me cause I’ve never been attracted enough to someone to want to kiss them
MEEEEEEEE
..this post is low key how I figured out that I was Demi lmao
i mean, i’m usually all for ignoring what’s ‘canon’ outside the books (stuff the author says, mostly) but nora has said straight-up that he’s demi and also…it fits? like, neil SAYS he doesn’t swing, and also his entire relationship with andrew screams ace spec/demisexuality even without considering anything nora says. so, that’s what i think
i also feel like saying he’s gay with internalised homophobia is also a terrible cliche straight-person-headcanon lmao
Also, consider that he while he had qualms about kissing Andrew because he felt like he was ignoring what his mother told him about relationships in general, and he was worried about putting him at risk, he had literally zero concerns about the fact that Andrew was a guy. He even said it didn’t matter that he was a man.
Neil makes it clear in so many ways that he’s not particularly interested in sex before Andrew. He refers to masturbating as being like eating, something he took care of because he had to not because he particularly wanted to or enjoyed it. If someone wants to headcanon Neil as gay/demi, that’s fine, but ignoring the demi/ace spectrum aspect of him is a crime when there is so little demi/ace rep out there.
are you a high five asexual or a fist bump asexual? are you an “i wanted to take karate as a kid” ace or a “i wanted to play any instrument than the one I played in band” ace? are you a “1000 band t-shirts” ace or a “I have four of this exact shirt in different colors” ace?
Alright, so. Coffee. I don’t drink coffee. I have no desire to drink coffee. I find people who enthusiastically go on about the flavor differences of lattes, espressos, and french press brews, both amusing and mildly baffling. All the coffee ads. Coffee jokes. Bustling coffee shops. To me, all coffee is similarly bitter and unpleasant. I have been through so many “Try this, it’s sweet! You can’t even taste the coffee!” Alas, I always can. And I’m sensitive to caffeine anyway. So, I don’t really think about drinking it when I wake up or am tired.
Yet I love the smell of coffee. I love the idea of coffee. The feeling of a warm cup taking the chill from my fingers, the cozy ritual of having a drink and chat.
I might try someone’s coffee. If they ask, if I want to please them and share in something they enjoy.
I am also perfectly capable of learning the preferences of those I care about and creating a cup for their pleasure.
But I don’t want coffee, generally speaking. I will probably make a face after trying their coffee and wash the taste out with something else. They may rush to reassure me that it is an acquired taste. And I’ll have to reply that it’s a taste I don’t particularly care about acquiring in the way they did. ‘Drink it till you like it’ will never work for me.
But that doesn’t mean I am against coffee or think people shouldn’t drink it. Doesn’t mean I’ve taken a vow to never drink any. And sure, maybe if you get one of those sugar and whipped cream disasters, more of a warm milkshake than a cup of coffee, I’ll probably be happier sipping it with you. But honestly? I’d rather smell someone else’s coffee and not be expected to drink it. I’d really rather have the heat and sweetness of my hot cocoa.
I love this
The best part is it works for ALLLL the ace spectrum! Maybe you like one specific type of coffee on rare occasions! Maybe you enjoy coffee when you’re sharing the drink with someone! Maybe you can’t even stand the smell of coffee!
Nothing but My Aching Soul 