daichi: scratches the furniture and when you catch them they pretend they were cleaning themselves
suga: plays with the wrapping of the new toy you bought them instead of the new toy
asahi: launching to space every time they get startled
noya: meows to come inside but then leaves when you open the door
tanaka: steals your socks and hides them under every piece of furniture you own
ennoshita: tries to suffocate you in your sleep by lying on top of your face
Tsukishima: looks you in the eye while they knock something over
Yamaguchi: throws up and immediatly walks over to the food bowl to start eating again
Hinata: decides it’s play time at 4 am
Kageyama: tries to fight a bird and loses
Kenma: sits right on top of your arm when you’re trying to use the computer
Kuroo: somehow learned to open cabinets and chews through all your food bags
Bokuto: gets too excited when you feed them and climbes your bare legs like a scratching post
Akaashi: kneads you softly then fucking mauls you and leaves
Oikawa: walks around the house crying until you pick them up
Iwaizumi: keeps bringing small dead things into your house
Aaron sees the glass as half empty. I see it as half full; that’s why we make a good team. Kevin on the other hand just drinks right out of the bottle, Neil wonders why it has to be glass, and Andrew usually breaks the glass by putting his feet up on the table.
this is to educate my non-American followers. This really is how the US sees itself. (and yes, 95% of the time, Florida = WHAT?!)
In Florida the more North you go, the more “South” you get
In Florida the central part pretends to be the south, the western part pretends to be the northeast and the south pretends to be the west I’m not even kidding you
… Please tell me you guys are kidding.
Florida is like it’s own country I swear
I’m from Florida and I can confirm this. Also, South Florida is basically Miami and alligators.
oh, i always assumed florida was part of The South?
north florida is yes. The rest is not.
I’m from Florida, and grew up in SC/NC. Can confirm all true. 👍
Um. This is so wrong.
You’re forgetting the part where California sees itself as its own entity.
We do not want to be grouped in with everyone else, thanks.
clearly none of you have ever met someone from texas
Hemingway: drabble challenge, 100 word challenge, yes the title is included in the word count, fight me, angst, sad, baby shoes
F Scott Fitzgerald: idk what I’m doing, lol party fic, I’m supposed to be working on something else right now, the real otp is despair
Virginia Wolfe: stream of consciousness, tw: depression and anxiety, tw: food mention, not sure what else to tag this as
Sylvia Plath: esther is not like other girls, depression, suicide, hurt/comfort, fuck the patriarchy
Edgar Allan Poe: detective au, everyone’s a suspect, darkfic, this was supposed to be satire, I’m not sure what happened,
Shakespeare: historical au, for Lizzy ❤ ❤ <3, either everybody lives or no on lives I haven’t decided yet, dick jokes, puns, stole this from Marlow not even sorry lmao
Jane Austen: hurt/comfort, fluff, angst, true love, dancing!, slow burn, don’t worry they all get there in the end (:
Jules Verne: long fic is long, technoporn, not in that way lol, genfic, unless you have your slash goggles on
Oscar Wilde: gay sin, major character death, suicide cw, only god can judge me, oh wait i’m an atheist,
Dostoevsky: moral degeneration, we all spiral towards despair, tw:epilepsy, tw:drinking, tw:mortal sins, tw:Europe mention, tw:suicide, tw:character death, crime fic, Jesus Christ returns!AU
Emily Bronte: landscape is a character, everyone is a jerk, tw:racism, tw:abuse, tw:loveless marriage, tw:major character deaths
Victor Hugo: period-typical racism, period-typical sexism, infrastructure, religious themes, poverty, nuns are fucking great ok, slice of life, linguistics, rambling, this latest chapter wasn’t supposed to be this gay, OR WAS IT, i just have a lot of feelings, (about poop), the land of a million tags, i do what i want, fuck you bugpipes is a word
This got so much better since the last time I saw it.
Charlotte Brontë: slow burn, fic of a fic, yes that’s yours hi Jane, hurt/comfort, child abuse cw, death cw, listen I just took this girl from jane’s fic and went ahead ok, just read it, btw helen is a cinnamon roll and must be protected
Arthur Conan Doyle: casefic, multiple ones actually lol, I have no idea what I’m doing, this got long, why can’t y’all let me rest I’m tired of this idiot??, Holmes/Watson if you squint, and I know you’re squinting Oscar, I could add so much cw stuff but nah, just don’t read it you’ll do us both a favour, tell me again why I didn’t let him stay dead
yuri!!! on ice has three exclamation points because thats how victor usually says yuuri’s name
kween day: rude, has a stick up his ass, not a morning person, probably has a shrine dedicated to jeremy knox in his bedroom, his blood is probably just dissolved protein shakes, exy is sexy, string bean, everyone’s son and everyone’s boyfriend at the same time, probably thought that eating spinach actually made you strong after watching popeye as a kid, thinks sports movies are romantic, would use his own body for target practice if he got half the chance
neil “not fine” josten: 35 lies per hour, has literally never been fine. like ever. in his whole entire life, mommy issues, sad tumblr hoe, human piñata, unhealthily obsessed with exy & andrew minyard, probably thinks smoking is fucking aesthetic, still uses internet explorer, neck fetish, the oblivious friend™, the salt content in his body beats that of the dead sea
andrew murderyard: smol, probably eats nutella for breakfast, definitely drinks milk straight from the carton, *says he’ll stab you* *will actually stab you*, as emo as emo can get, i’m talking like emo as an actual fucking metal trash can, desensitised to every color except for black, talks like a fucking comic book villain, will fight any sentient being
aaron miniyard: angery, hates virtually everyone, *cough* homophobe *cough*, “i’m going to pretend i don’t know you”, transforms into a 12 y/o whenever he’s within the same radius as his crush, only marginally less emo than his brother, probably listens to a lot of rap, science is kewl
Miss Dan Probably Wilder Than You: BAMF, the best friend you wished you had, the girlfriend you wished you had, “he fell into a tank of piranhas”, pack alpha, starts feminist debates at parties, Stressed, the mom friend
allison baenolds: is fabulous, boss ass bitch, looks like a princess but could literally kill you, has watched every buffy the vampire slayer episode at least 5 times, drives a very pink car, has probably used her stilettos to kick a guy in the nuts, out of even god’s league
nicky hemmlickk ;): is loyal, the inappropriate friend, everything he says is an innuendo, the gay cousin who turns out to be gayer than you initially thought, always suspiciously cheery, probably tweets his entire life, TMI bro, ONLY EVER TEXTS LIKE THIS, will spank your ass as a greeting instead of a handshake & drive you home from work/school
renee Keep Walking: cute but she once plotted murders, the brand ambassador of cinnabon like she is literally the purest cinnamon roll, back tf up or you’ll probably get bitch-slapped (by a holy bible), she’s the cool older sister you’ve always wished you had kinda friend, a little gay for allison reynolds, her hair probably looks like a swirl of fucking twix yogurt??
matt oh boy!: fucking angel, protect him, no seriously, he like, descended from the heavens above, stays out of his girlfriend’s fights despite his better judgement bc he knows she can handle her own battles, gym rat, he recovers like a prostitute who converted to being a nun, neil josten is his pride & joy & if you touch a single hair on his head your ass gon’ get whopped, did i mention Neil Josten Protection Squad 2kFuckingForever Founder & Councellor??, the sweetest human bean in the entire series imho
seth “should’ve stayed in school” gordon: dead as a doorknob & a bigger dick than a rich white artist evading questions about cultural appropriation on Saturday Night Live, but you kinda feel sorry for him anyway because the author knows how to round out all her bloody characters
Nothing but My Aching Soul 