Yesterday afternoon the House subcommittee that provides Congressional oversight for the FCC held an important hearing about the agency’s current plans, including current Chairman (and former Verizon lawyer) Ajit Pai’s move to gut Title II net neutrality protections that prevent ISPs from controlling what we do online with throttling, censorship, and extra fees.
With Capitol Hill’s attention now on the FCC, and Pai’s final plan to gut net neutrality protections expected in the coming weeks, it’s extra important that Congress gets flooded with phone calls from Internet users telling them to stand up and defend the open Internet.
You’ll see a script on your screen, or you can say something like this:
“I support Title Two net neutrality rules and I urge you to oppose the FCC’s plan to repeal them. Specifically, I’d like you to contact the FCC Chairman and demand he abandon his current plan.”
You can also just call this number directly and enter your zipcode to get connected to your legislators: 202-930-8550.
If you run a website, blog, tumblr, or forum, help spread the word by putting up a sticky post, or use one of these widgets, ads, or banners: https://www.battleforthenet.com/#join
Ajit Pai is expected to circulate the text of his rule killing net neutrality on November 22, the day before Thanksgiving. Once that happens, it will move to a vote at the FCC’s open meeting in December, and it will become much much harder to stop him.
It’s clear that the FCC remains set on killing net neutrality. But Congress can stop the FCC from gutting the rules that keep the web open, affordable, and awesome.
Idgaf if this isn’t my theme we’re losing this fight tell your family tell your friends l e t ‘ s g o
I can’t stress enough how important this is. I rarely deviate from my surreal meme theme but this is something that can’t be ignored. This decision will affect the whole world!
IF YOU NEED TO CALL 911 BUT ARE SCARED TO BECAUSE OF SOMEONE IN THE ROOM, dial and ask for a pepperoni pizza. They will ask if you know you’re calling 911. Say yes, and continue pretending you’re making an order. They’ll ask if there’s someone in the room.
You can ask how long it will take for the pizza to get to you, and they will tell you how far away a dispatcher is.
My flat-mate’s date for the night was almost as drunk as her. She had passed out in her room and locked the door. He refused to leave because he wanted to have sex. He also demanded food because he was dealing with “whiskey dick”. He didn’t like the lack of food in the fridge. I called 911, did the stuff stated above, and he was getting PISSED about how long the “order” was taking. He took my phone, demanded they “hurry the fuck up”. Police arrived two minutes later, arrested him, and helped me file a police report. Pressing charges wasn’t necessary because he had warrants on him from THREE different states for the very thing he planned to do to me. Several months after this happened one of the officers informed me he was charged with two felonies because he crossed stay lines, and will be serving no less than 35 years in prison. The officer ripped into my flat-mate about her bringing home complete strangers, while drunk, knowing full well this shit could happen.
This was 14 years ago.
Do the pizza order, do it as calmly as you can. The dispatcher I spoke to said things like this:
“If he’s drunk say you want mushrooms.” I said I want extra mushrooms.
“If he’s threatening you with sexual assault say you want onions.” I said I want onions.
She went like this with different toppings and sauces for a description of him, like pineapple if he’s blonde, black olives if he’s tall, extra large if he’s tall, etc.
They’ve heard this sort of coded call before. They’re trained for it. They will understand what you’re saying. Order the pizza.
Really though. I’m in training for dispatch and this was one of the first things they taught us. Pretend you’re talking to a friend or relative, pretend you’re ordering pizza, we’ll figure it out. We’ll word questions so you can answer in an easy, casual way. Please, just make the call and we will do everything we can to help you.
Who do I have to pay to get content of Viktor and Yuuri, older and retired and co-commentating on skating together?
Just imagine: Viktor just savaging all the skaters’ techniques because he never grew a filter (After all, Yuuri is fine with it, and Yurio doesn’t respond otherwise), and Yuuri helpfully adding in historical tidbits that are all Viktor-related and Viktor forgot about all of them.
For example:
“And there’s the quad axel. A sad attempt, really. Who is his coach again?”
“The quad axel, of course, was first landed in competition by Viktor Nikiforov in the 2018 World Olympics. Much cleaner than that attempt.”
“But not as clean as your quad axel, landed just five minutes later during your own free skate, Yuuri. And you landed yours weeks first in practice, I just skated before you. You always were so good at that jump. Will you do one later tonight for me?”
[Yuuri starts blushing]
“Look at that step sequence. Terrible ice coverage. No musicality.”
“Well, not none, Viktor, be fair. Of course, it had nothing on your step sequence when you chose the same music during your senior debut, but look at the quad salchow. Right on the crescendo.”
“He nearly fell, Yuuri.”
“Ah, well…that’s true.”
“Oh! A quad flip, right inside the second half of the program. Beautiful. Viktor Nikiforov’s signature move, of course.”
“Yes, he does seem to be heavily influenced by you, Yuuri, who of course was influenced by me. Sometimes it’s like looking at a copy of a copy of myself. Very strange.”
“Nothing is as lovely as the original, of course.”
“That’s what I say about your quad axel.”
Neil: Babe pass the ball please
Andrew, Matt, Nicky, Kevin, Jean, Me, the cat, the whole fandom: *tried to reach for the ball*
Nothing but My Aching Soul 