My 26 yr old sister still says things out loud like ‘ermagerd’ and ’___ ALL the things!’ Like…is that what’s gonna happen to me?am I going to be 30 still saying stupid shit like O shit waddup! Are all the youngins gonna be embarrassed by my use of outdated memes….how long until I myself am not Hip With It….how long until I am no longer a trendy memer…
my greatest fear honestly
Listen, I am 40. I was around for the early internet of webrings and hamsterdance. Homestarrunner. Those little cats in the boat singing to Immigrant Song. Longcat. Ceiling cat. Radiskull. Powerthirst.
So to me anything that is funny on the internet is, and always will be, cutting-edge and hilarious. If it’s funny the first time, it’s funny the eleven thousandth time. No exceptions.
I accumulate memes. Social media sites form actual strata in my soul, revealing my geological age in layers: Geocities, Myspace, Livejournal, Tumblr. Memes encrust me, like jewels, just layer on layer of reaction gifs and shitposts, some of which I barely understand, but I refuse to let go of. I cling to them, they are ever-relevant, undying.
You callow youths, who think in your innocence that that memes come and go, you are tepid fools who still smell of milk.
I am where memes go to die. I am where memes go to live eternal.
Someday, if you are lucky, you will join me. Bring your breadsticks meme, your Spiders Georg, your Bode, your big mood, your Supernatural gifs, your oh worm. Come with me and rejoice in pointless in-jokes and long-forgotten references. Embrace your encyclopedic knowledge of comedy sites ca 2006 and come share the knowledge with us. Come with me and lik the bred.
“Why do you like crows so much?” “Fuck. I don’t know? They look cool i guess”
“The water gets it, but the ice doesn’t fucking care”
“Nobody fucking die okay? Like seriously I’m not fuckin crying over any of you losers and I’m not going to organise any shit if you do die your corpse is staying wherever you fucking left it.”
Among them, it passed for good luck.
“Matthias, this is when you go like, ‘YOU’RE ALL FUCKING STUPID’. Remember???”
Neil has extensive scars on his torso: a looping scar curving down the base of his throat over his collarbone; a pucker with jagged edges from a bullet wound a finger-width away; a shapeless patch of pale skin from his left shoulder to his navel; faded scars criss-crossing here and there; larger overlapping lines across his abdomen from his father’s knives; the shape of half a hot iron on his right shoulder.
2. Agonized: as if in pain or tormented 3. Alluring:
powerfully and mysteriously attractive or fascinating; seductive
4. Appealing: attractive, in the sense of encouraging goodwill and/or interest 5. Beatific:
bestowing bliss, blessings, happiness
6. Bilious:
spiteful; bad-tempered
7. Black:
gloomy, pessimistic, dismal
8. Bleak:
without hope or encouragement; depressing; dreary
9. Blinking: surprise, or lack of concern 10. Blissful: showing a state of happiness or divine contentment 11. Blithe: carefree, lighthearted, or heedlessly indifferent 12. Brooding:
showing unhappiness of thought or appears darkly menacing
13. Bug-eyed: frightened or surprised, having the eyes bulging
14. Chagrined: humiliated or disappointed 15. Cheeky:
impudent or irreverent, typically in an endearing or amusing way
16. Cheerless:
joyless, depressing
17. Choleric: hot-tempered, irate 18. Coy:
shyness or modesty that is intended to be alluring 19. Crestfallen:
dejected, dispirited, discouraged
20. Darkly:
vaguely threatening or menacing manner
21. Deadpan:
deliberately impassive or expressionless
22. Dejected: downcast, depressed, dispirited
23. Derisive:
expressing contempt or ridicule
24. Despondent:
showing profound hopelessness, discouragement, or gloom
25. Doleful:
expressing sorrow, mournful 26. Dour:
relentlessly severe, stern, or gloomy in manner or appearance
27. Downcast: low in spirit 28. Dreamy:
pleasant, peaceful, and relaxing
29. Ecstatic:
in a state of ecstasy, full of joy, rapturous:
30. Etched: a feeling clearly visible on someone’s face
31. Faint: cowardly, weak, or barely perceptible 32. Fixed:
set or intent upon something; steadily directed
33. Furtive:
suggestive of guilty nervousness
34. Gazing:
look intently, especially in admiration, surprise, or thought
35. Glancing:
to look quickly or briefly
36. Glaring:
having a fixed look of hostility, fierceness, or anger
37. Glazed:
a fixed, dazed, or lifeless expression
38. Gloomy:
filled with or showing gloom; sad, dejected, or melancholy.
39. Glowering:
sullen dislike, discontent, or anger 40. Glowing:
showing the radiance of health, excitement
41. Grim: very serious or gloomy
42. Grave:
something that is serious or doing something in a solemn manner
43. Haunted:
showing signs of mental anguish or torment
44. Hopeless: depressed by a lack of encouragement or optimism 45. Hostile: aggressively angry, intimidating, unfriendly 46. Hunted:
appearing worn or harassed as if one is being pursued.
Nothing but My Aching Soul 