The foxes as quotes from John Mulaney’s ‘Kid Gorgeous’
Neil: “In high school, people were like, ‘What are your top 3 colleges?’ I was like, top 3 colleges? I thought I’d be dead in a trunk with my hand hanging out of the taillight by now.”
Aaron: “I don’t know what my body is for, other than to carry my head from room to room.”
Andrew: “‘Hey, do you want me to kill that guy for you? Because it sounds like he sucks and i will totally kill that guy for you.’”
Allison: “She said, ‘You can make fun of me, just don’t say that I’m a bitch and that you don’t like me.’ I was like ‘Whoa, the bar is so much lower than I ever imagined, that’s it?!’”
Matt: “My wife is a bitch and i like her SO MUCH.”
Nicky: “My dad once grabbed me by the shirt and lifted me up during church and said ‘God can’t hear you.’”
Dan: “Oh, you mean like having friends?”
Kevin: “College was like a four-year game show called Do My Friends Hate Me or Do I Just Need to Go to Sleep? But instead of winning money, you lose $120,000.”
Renee: “I was raised to be nice to everyone in every situation because you never know their story. A lot of people don’t seem that nice and they seem to be doing fine in the world.”
Bonus:
Wymack: “Just explain this to me: how are you better than a nazi?”
Bee: “We noticed you had all been bullying each other and making fun of everything constantly. So we invite a woman with straight gray hair, in a denim dress, with a wrist-cast and puppets that all have the same voice to teach you about bullying through skits, and you ha-ha-ha, laugh it up.”
Abby: “I’ve never really cared about politics. But then, last November, the craziest thing happened.”
Okay but guys. Imagine the twins getting really good at imitating each other. Like crazy good. Like Andrew has perfected Aaron’s look of resentment and Aaron has Andrew’s cold demeanor down to a tee. And they fuck with the rest of the foxes so much.
The downside? The foxes stop trusting them to clarify who’s who. Meaning the final authority on who’s Andrew and who’s Aaron is Neil.
Can you imagine the absolute mess that is giving Neil that much power over the twins. Because he WILL use it. He WILL tell people that one twin did something stupid when it was really the other. And don’t you think he’ll favor Andrew, either. Josten is vindictive towards all.
Andrew didn’t cooperate during practice? “Aaron get the fuck out of my bed”
Aaron being especially assholish? Neil pretends he’s Andrew in front of Katelyn.
He doesn’t do it often. But when he does, it never ends well for the twins.
Nothing but My Aching Soul 