lesbianjohnmulaney:

Kevin Day’s “do you know who I am?!” Moment

• The football players were having a party the same time the Exy players where, so, the two parties ended up combining, for better or worse…
• Some how, Kevin found himself talking to a football jock. Tall, buff, probably called Chad, caucasian.
• Chad’s like “what’s the deal with girls being on your team? Isn’t your sport, like, super violent?”
• “All genders play Exy together, that’s how the game was created” says Kevin.
• “Yeah, but, like, you don’t know that.”
• Kevin just… blinks at him and goes “I’m sorry?”
• “You can’t actually know for sure that’s how the guys who made Exy wrote the original rules, man, people probably just put girls in with the boys so that-”
• He stops, because Kevin’s face has gone purple.
• “I don’t know?” Kevin says. “I don’t know? I don’t know?”
• Nicky’s being listening in the whole time and now he feels like he needs to get everyone to an underground bunker.
• Chad’s laughing like “dude, calm the fuck down.”
• “You’re saying that I have no idea what the intention of the creators were even though one of them was my own mother?”
• Chad stares at him blankly. Then says, “your mom created Exy?”
• Nicky grabs Aaron by the arm and drags him under the nearest table, just as Kevin explodes.
• “DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO THE HELL YOU’VE BEEN TALKING TO? DOES IT NOT OCCURE TO YOU THAT I HAVE A BIG-ASS CHESS PIECE TATTOOED ON MY FACE?”
• “What the fuck do I care about some dumb tat?”
• “ARE YOU SAYING YOU DON’T KNOW WHO I AM?”
• “Should I?”
• Kevin picks up the nearest bottle and smashes it over his head.