AFTG AU where Neil is a southerner

exy-13:

Bless your heart, but i get it. Being raised to act ugly and treated as some sorta ragtag superstar musta been real real difficult for ya. You’ve been gittin’ above your raising and heavens to betsy knows you aint worth a nickel or a penny off the court – yeah, sounds rough. Kevin and I have been fixing to say that your intricate and endless daddy issues are like having three gallons of crazy in a two gallon bucket. I know it aint entirely your fault that you could start an argument in an empty house and lose and I know you’re not capable of having polite conversation with anybody like every other normal human being can, but goodness gracious i don’t think any of these fine people should have to put up with this much of your back talk. Pity only gets you so far sweetheart and the lot of us got tired of saying ‘honey hush’  six insults ago. So please, please, for all things holy, go sell crazy somewhere else darling. We’re all stocked up here