1. “Didn’t you hear? You’re dead.”
2. “Today marks the first day in history that you weren’t a dumbass.”
3. “Even when I leave my very clear instructions, you still manage to accidentally set something on fire. How?”
4. “You were here, but then, you were there, and now, I am confused.”
5. “New things are always fun, but that doesn’t mean the old has to get any less fun.”
6. “There was something you said that really spoke to me yesterday, oh yeah, it was-.”
7. “Moonlight is the only light I like, the sun burns me.”
8. “I moved out so I could get a dog.”
9. “What? When did that happen? How long was I gone for?”
10. “You know that arrow was meant for you right?”
11. “Maybe there was something about it that I was drawn to, maybe it was fate, but regardless, I knew I needed to have it.”
12. “My personality? Really?”
13. “I could have said something, but I didn’t, and you know why? Because I’m not a mean person, that’s why.”
14. “Hey, I get it. Don’t worry about it.”
15. “Have you ever heard a song that describes exactly how you feel, so much so, that you can’t help but listen to it over and over?”
16. “I am not going to say I am experienced in this, because I’m not. However, I have killed someone before, so that should count right?”
17. “There isn’t anything wrong with breaks. Especially breaking bones.”
18. “Maybe I didn’t! Have you ever thought about that?”
19. “Pranks are cool.”
20. “I can’t bake a cake. What makes you think I can bake a cake?”
21. “Why can’t numbers be less complicated?”
22. “Oh, that’s because I won.”
23. “You just got burned, and by burned I mean detonated. Just lie down and die. There is no bouncing back from that one.”
24. “I could say there is a silver-lining but dude, this sucks.”
25. “There wasn’t anything that I wanted more in that moment then that cake, so, I did what I had to do.”
26. “Conversations? Socializing? Being outside of my house? That sounds horrible, no.”
27. “Because even the sky cries, but beautiful things always happen after.”
28. “Today, I will be the new me, and by new me, I mean I won’t throw myself at the cookie tray.”
29. “Why are you playing the ukulele?”
30. “I dunno? Just set it on fire, I guess.”