evil-diabolical-oops:

Andrew’s Foolproof Method for Shutting Neil Up

• FIRST SUCCESSFUL ATTEMPT:
  “Nine percent of the time I don’t want to kill you. I always hate you.”
  “Every time you say that I believe you a little less.”
  “No one asked you.” With that, Andrew caught Neil’s face in his hands and leaned in.
  
• SECOND SUCCESSFUL ATTEMPT:
  “That’s a first,” Neil said. “Do I get a prize for shutting you up?”
  “A quick death,” Andrew said. “I’ve already decided where to hide your body.”
  “Six feet under?” Neil guessed.
  “Stop talking,” Andrew said, and kissed him.

• THIRD SUCCESSFUL ATTEMPT:
  “The only one I’m interested in is you.”
  “Don’t say stupid things.”
  “Stop me,” Neil returned. He buried his hands in Andrew’s hair and tugged him in for a kiss. 

• FOURTH SUCCESSFUL ATTEMPT:
  Neil still felt like he was falling. He did fall afterward, albeit in a controlled slide down the wall, gasping for breath and dizzy with burnt-out need.
  “Do you want—” he started, voice ragged.
  Andrew kissed him to shut him up.

• FIFTH SUCCESSFUL ATTEMPT:
  “I’ll get bored of you eventually.”
  “You sure?” Neil asked. “Rumor has it I’m pretty interesting.”
  “Don’t believe everything you hear.”
  Neil ignored that dismissal because Andrew was already pulling him down again. They kissed until Neil felt dizzy…

• SIXTH SUCCESSFUL ATTEMPT:
  “I won’t be like them,” Neil said. “I won’t let you let me be.”
  “One hundred and one,” Andrew said, “going on one hundred and two.”
  “You’re a terrible liar,” Neil said, and Andrew kissed him into silence.

Positive reinforcement means Neil is going to end up running his mouth. A lot. Clever, Andrew.

Lucky Neil.