wearenotmonsters:

andrew lives by a certain philosophy that is more of a statement he maintains the truth in: there is very little that andrew minyard needs, and even less that he wants. this is the closest thing to religion that andrew knows; his faith is unshakable. 

then a blue-eyed boy with a smile full of lies and lifetime of secrets stumbles into andrew’s life, bleeding and desperate. this is the moment, the resounding cleaving of before and after.

before he could list the things he wanted on one hand. clear, concise, and, most of all, not messy. he wants chocolate ice cream, cigarettes, alcohol, and his family. simple.

after he can’t number them, his wants are too many for that. he wants neil. he wants neil’s chest beneath his hand; he wants neil’s pulse on his lips; he wants neil’s wide-blown eyes on him; he wants neil’s legs slotted between his; he wants neil to stay. it’s a mess that andrew can’t sort through. every time andrew sees neil his list of wants grows longer. everytime neil speaks andrew wants to make him quiet. 

it’s a flood in his mind, and the dam he builds isn’t enough. the floodgates break open on a rooftop and it all that he can do, kissing neil. and oh, for the first time in months his head is quiet.