The Foxes + Candy Corn

cabeswaterlovesthem:

(Just the monsters this time because I’m lazy)

Neil: He’s actually the worst and I’m going to tell you the fuck why. Neil Josten loves candy corn. And the way he eats it is by biting off every color one. by. fucking. one. Matt was actually the one who introduced him to candy corn last fall. Neil doesn’t like super sweet things but he isn’t opposed to a pinch of sweet (I mean, that’s what kissing Andrew is like 99% of the time anyways). He doesn’t really find them festive but does think they taste good. Fundamentally doesn’t understand why candy corn isn’t sold year round as nothing about them truly alludes to a specific season in his opinion. He’s tweet roasted his local drug store for not carrying it year round. 

Andrew: There is nothing more disappointing to Andrew than a candy that does not taste sweet like a candy should. Candy Corn are a disgrace to all other candies and should be completely eradicated from the earth. First of all, it’s called candy “corn” and if there is one thing Andrew cannot stand by it’s a candy with a vegetable in its name. He finds Neil’s love for them absolutely atrocious and refuses to kiss a mouth that just had candy corn in it which delays quite a few of their make-out sessions. It turns into a war of stubbornness between them where Neil will purposely eat them in front of Andrew in the most seductive ways possible while Andrew stares blankly at him. 

Kevin: I know what you were thinking. “Ah yes, a candy with a vegetable in the name is probably the only candy Kevin Day would ever indulge in.” WRONG! You’re so wrong. Kevin does not eat anything with “candy” in the name and that was your first mistake. How dare you suggest Kevin eat anything except for grass fed beef patties (no bun, no sauce), and kale & egg smoothies. That’s it. That’s his diet. Fuck off. Don’t bring up the vodka clear liquids are acceptable. 

Aaron: Aaron goes into every fall season strangely optimistic. He enjoys the colder weather as it makes outside practices more bearable. The trees actually look pretty and he’s found that he’s weirdly talented at carving pumpkins. So when the weather starts to change and the bowls of candy corn start to appear, Aaron always happily reaches his hand into the bowl and takes a few…..and then the entire good mood he previously had is fucking ruined by how disappointing the taste of candy corn is. Unfortunately, it’s not so disappointing that it becomes memorable. It’s just….not good. The cycle of him thinking he should eat the candy corn continues for the entire season, constantly eating a few pieces before remembering he shouldn’t have. 

Nicky: The source of all the bowls of candy corn Aaron keeps eating. Also the supplier of Neil’s addiction to candy corn considering Andrew won’t buy it for him or will purposely take it out of the cart when they shop together. One time Nicky was greeted at their door by Andrew holding a knife before proceeding to make Nicky empty all his pockets to show he didn’t have any candy corn on him. When Neil showed up with a bag of it the next day, Andrew asked him where he got it. “Nicky brought it over yesterday.” Little did Neil know he was eating from a bag that Nicky had smuggled in the door through his underwear. The greatest irony of all, however, is that Nicky doesn’t even like candy corn. He just likes that it’s festive and is a big fan of seasonal decorating and finding little ways to get under Andrew’s skin sometimes.