cigarettesmokeandexyracquets:

[companion piece to this]

a list of things andrew has overheard neil say to the cats:

– you’re so soft. just like andrew, but don’t tell him i said that.

– it’s nice having a home, isn’t it? remember that the next time you think about peeing on my gym bag.

– if you get on the bed and pretend to be asleep, andrew won’t make you sleep on the floor. [spoiler alert: andrew would and andrew did]

– [softly and with a hint of distress] you’re so small. you’re too small.

– you’re siblings. you’re supposed to love each other.

– [to king] nicky wanted to rename you queen after he found out you were a girl, but i told him kevin wouldn’t appreciate having to share his throne.

– you owe me your life, the least you can do is sit in my lap.

– [stacking multiple items on top of the cats while they nap] reverse jenga.

– the areas where the light touches are your kingdom sir, but considering the electricity is out that leaves a very small area for you.

– [draping king across his stomach and letting sir stretch out along his side] couture. 

– you’re my child and i love you, but if you touch my pizza again i’m going to disown you.