cigarettesmokeandexyracquets:

a list of things neil has overhead andrew saying to the cats:

– i will abandon you in a storm drain if you put your foot in my drink one more time.

– [after king knocked a glass off the table] i support your rebellious attitude but not at the cost of my glassware.

– it’s a cold cruel world out there but you don’t know that. you don’t know anything. you’re so stupid.

– [sir curls up in his lap for warmth] neither of us get any enjoyment out of this. 

– you are the second worst decision i’ve ever made in my life.

– you can get up on the bed but only if you shut the fuck up.

– [any time one of the cats meows loudly] fuck off.

– don’t look at me like that.

– [after giving one of them an extra treat after neil said no] don’t tell neil.

– i could crush your tiny throat with my hand. it would be so easy. [as he’s petting sir]

– care to weigh in on the situation sir? king? no? alright then.

– apologize to your sister. [after the cats get into a fight]

– listen, i hate you. you hate me. but we have a common enemy here. 

– *one very soft kissy noise as he poked king on the paw*