jostyards:

one of my favourite headcanons about neil is that he’s so trained to overreact to fucking anything that could potentially ruin his secrecy and that bleeds into normal life with the foxes

• like he’s using a computer at some point
• and it’s like that scene with rosa from brooklyn nine nine

• the computer stops loading anything
• so he smashes it to pieces

• “I’ll pay for that”
• then throws a couple hundred dollars on top of it and walks away
• everyone at the library is confused, terrified and a bit turned on
• one day neil gets a nosebleed so there’s blood on his shirt
• he just asks andrew to drive him somewhere 
• so andrew just watches as neil goes into a laundromat
• throws his clothes in the wash and then walks away and tells andrew to drive

• andrew doesn’t say anything but neil literally just left
• a brand new fucking shirt in the washing machine
• and he knows they’re not coming back to get it
• and that shirt looked really good on him 
• so what the fuck
• he buys new shoes at one point so he takes the old ones and tosses them out the window
• literally breaks the window

• his face is completely flat

• but kevin is yelling at him his face is going fucking red and the rest of the foxes are watching with open mouths

• neil pretends none of them exist

• or maybe he just really doesn’t see them

• he very calmly walks out of the room

• goes down the stairs

• and the foxes watch through the broken window as neil approaches the shoes on the pavement

• pulls something out from behind his back

• (it’s kerosene)

• he’s literally burning his old shoes like it’s a normal thing to do because he got new ones

• and hes completely nonchalant about it too

• “neil…. r u ok?”

• neil responds with the usual, of course, and then when prompted for further explanation he says
· “they could betray my location”

• what

• literally w h a T

• matt is hugging neil to his chest and looking like he never wants to let go bc apparently this is shit neil has had to think about all his life and sometimes matt forgets that

• dan is right beside him with a hand on neils shoulder looking like she’s about to fight the ashes that used to be ratty old shoes

• (neil, whose face is pressed into matt’s chest, is so confused)

• meanwhile nicky cannot stop fucking laughing
• and it’s a bit surprising but aaron and kevin and allison are all laughing with him

• “BETRAY HIM”

• nicky keeps explaining with tears in his eyes that neil was afraid his old shoes were traitors

• renee kind of just watches bc she finds it endearing

• as she passes neil she just kind of whispers to him that he did good

• even though it was clearly unnecessary 
• andrew completely walked out probably 10 minutes ago

• he’s just waiting for the drama to stop

• and he keeps telling himself “I don’t care I really don’t care”
• but the curiosity is haunting him

• where was the kerosene