Hi! I have to ask. I don’t mean it to be rude or anything. I’ve noticed that Nora saying Andreil don’t get married is a huge deal in the fandom, I’m genuinely curious as to why. Is it really so bad if they don’t? I don’t care abt marriage personally. Ultimately it wouldn’t change anything. They love each other & are gonna stay together. I don’t think not getting married means you love the person any less. Why is marriage so important? Please, don’t be offended I just really want to understand :)

robincross:

No worries, I’m not offended at all! I’ll be honest with you
and say I’m kind of in the same boat as you with this. I really didn’t take
offence by Nora saying they wouldn’t get married. I actually liked it? (which
is probably an opinion held by very few in the fandom lol)

I don’t know if I can completely answer your question of why
marriage is so important bc I personally don’t feel it is(although I just want
to make it clear that I’m not against marriage either just indifferent, I
suppose?) I feel that a relationship can be just as fulfilling whether or not
you get married. And it’s more of a personal choice kind of thing.

So if it’s okay with you, I more or less answered this in terms of why would
Andrew and Neil might actually get married sort of thing.

You’re right in saying it wouldn’t change anything between
them. They love each other and there is nothing that could pry these two men
from each other. (also the bit in the extra content, where nora says even if
they don’t say it they both come to understand and know that they do love each
other. Sorry, I just had to throw this in here dfasdfa) Married or not won’t
change that fact.

Getting married wouldn’t be important for these two. They
are not like dan & matt who a wedding would be a VERY big deal for. Or Nicky
and Erik. Or even Aaron and Katelyn. In which marriage for them would be a lot
more meaningful, complete with an actual reception and ceremony and vow
exchanges and whatnot. it would be a defining moment in their relationship.

And while marriage isn’t something andreil would be absolutely thrilled about,
I don’t think it’s something they would vehemently oppose? It would kind of be
like going out for ice cream, except they would come back with a marriage
license instead of ice cream cones. I mean it has it’s upsides.

That’s why the most common reasoning for having them marry is
more for a means to an end kind of thing like tax breaks or for hospital
visitation rights. (let’s face it Andrew would straight up kill someone if they
didn’t let him see neil. And neil will probably maintain his death magnet
status and wind up in the hospital a few times just because of that mouth of
his. So to avoid manslaughter charges and other criminal charges, marriage is
the way to go.)

But if you want to for a much deeper reason for why they
would get married consider that Neil Josten is allowed to leave some sort of
paper trail now. He’s real and over the course of his lifetime he gains so many
legal documents with his name that he keeps. His driver’s license. His ssc. His
passport. His PSU graduation certificate. His team contracts where neil and Andrew
come as a pair. And…maybe  even a
marriage certificate with his and Andrew’s name on it? And well for someone who
spent his whole childhood running, never being allowed to leave a single trace
of himself, never allowed to trust others, it’s kind of nice?

Marriage will in no way define their relationship if they
do. (or they don’t for that matter). These two will love each other marriage or
not.

There’s nothing wrong with them not getting married but also, there’s nothing wrong with them
getting married either? It’s just whatever future, you prefer for them.

also, regardless of whether if you believe they get married
or not, I think the fandom can at least agree on Nora’s words:

till death do them part