retoondant:

pjpedream:

pjpedream:

neil agreeing to go on celebrity mean tweets once he goes pro and he’s reading some out and it’s shit like this:

“i have started a go-fund me to fly neil josten to antarctica and leave him there. still need five more dollars.”

”neil josten is one of the world’s most useless creations since the sloth”

“neil josten has such a big mouth on him i could replace my goalie racquet with him and no one would notice”

“@.neiljos10 what is red and blue all over and can’t score?”

and neil’s like haha so fu- oh shit are these all from andrew’s account??

why stop with neil, my brain thought at 2:40 am:

kevin: [reading] kevin day always looks like he has an exy racquet up his ass

kevin: ..you say that like it’s a bad thing

andrew: [reading] andrew minyard’s attitude is all an act to compensate for his height

andrew: does twitter user “exy_is_sexy” feel like testing out this theory?

nicky: [reading] nicky hemmick looks like he cries after sex

nicky: IT WAS ONE TIME

matt: [reading] matt boyd is tall and won’t date me and for this reason the ncaa should suspend him

matt: wow they really went there

allison: [reading] allison reynolds is a bitch

allison: thank you

No, but like imagine this happening right after the olympics when they win their gold medals, right? So they come home and they’re like superstars for a couple of months. The whole American exy team is, but especially Neil, Andrew, Kevin, and Matt because of their connection/friendship or whatever. The media probably calls them the Fox Four or something cutesy like that, and they do basically every talk show imaginable.

And every interview is incredibly entertaining because Kevin tries to be nice and professional but Neil and Matt always call him on his bullshit and every time Neil opens up his mouth to talk trash Andrew breaks his glowering silence to deliver some savage comeback at him that makes Matt and all of the hosts/audiences die with laughter. Laughing Matt becomes a meme.

And Neil and Andrew are out now because one of their jealous nosy teammates sold them out to the paps after it was announced that they made court and every talk show host who is brave enough tries to get them to talk about their relationship and they always refuse, BUT MATT AND KEVIN HAVE YEARS WORTH OF DIRT ON THEM OKAY. So like every relationship question turns into Matt taking a guess and Kevin confirming or denying.

Matt: Well I’d say Andrew wears the pants in the relationship, but like…I’ve literally seen Neil work miracles just by asking so idk

Kevin: It’s Neil.

*Camera pans to Neil smirking ever so slightly while Andrew rolls his eyes*