andrewjmnyrd:

until neil, no one in andrew’s life has been particularly good to him. until neil, everyone that’s ever been close to him has caused him pain and has fucked up his perception of love and affection. neil is the first constant in andrew’s life that hasn’t and would never hurt him. it’s the first time someone sacrifices themselves for him, after andrew has spent years making deals to protect the ones he cares about. and that’s why andrew hates neil so much. andrew has been forced to give his whole life and suddenly neil comes around and gives andrew his back and his life and his truths and doesn’t ask for anything back. neil trusts andrew enough to stop running when he asks him to. and andrew hates him because it’s starting to feel a lot like love