gehayi:

theconcealedweapon:

Poor Person: I need food stamps so I don’t starve.

Conservative: That’s lazy. Get a job.

Poor Person: Fine. I got a job, but it doesn’t pay enough. The minimum wage needs to be raised.

Conservative: Still lazy. Go to college so you can get a better job.

Poor Person: Fine. But I’ll need financial assistance to afford college.

Conservative: Still lazy.

Poor Person: Fine. I went to college, put myself in debt, and got a degree. But the only jobs I can get without experience are unpaid internships. Businesses should be required to pay their interns.

Conservative: …

Conservative: Still lazy.

Poor Person: How the hell do you expect me to get out of debt?

Conservative: It’s your own fault. You choose to go to college even though you couldn’t afford it.

Poor Person: But you’re the one who keeps telling poor people to go to college. Are you saying that I’m lazy if I don’t go to college, and lazy if I do?

Conservative: Yes.

Poor Person: Then what the hell should I do?

Conservative: Be born rich.

Wait, there’s a capper to this. I know, because I’ve heard it.

Poor Person: Well, I wasn’t born rich, so I need help!

Conservative: You weren’t born rich because your parents weren’t virtuous.

Poor Person: What?

Conservative: If your parents had been virtuous, God would have rewarded them by giving them prosperity and power. Only the faithful devout TRULY get to be rich, you know.

Poor Person: So you’re saying that I’m poor because my parents were bad people?

Conservative: No. You weren’t born rich because your parents were sinners. You aren’t rich now because you’re a sinner.

Poor Person: Oh, really. And what sin am I supposed to have committed?

Conservative: I already told you. You’re lazy.