honorarystar:

RMR WHEN THE FOXES WENT HORSEBACK RIDING ON THEIR SPRING BREAK TRIP I SURE DO

• dan: “these are some tall dogs”
• nobody thought it was a good idea for neil to go bc he could still barely move his hands least of all to steer a horse
• nicky offered to have neil join him on his horse so he could put his arms around him
• that got a Big No from one andrew minyard
• neil managed to get on the horse with matt’s help and he didn’t really have to steer it kind of just followed the rest of the horses everywhere
• kevin chooses a horse named Queenie ITS DEFINITELY A COINCIDENCE HAHAha
• she’s super wild and scares kevin at first but then he’s just holding his head high and both he and his horse know they’re better than everyone else
• nicky tried to get matt and dan to race his horse and he lost quickly
• “it’s okay buddy you did your best i still love you shhh” nicky whispers as he pets his horse’s neck
• andrew chose the biggest darkest horse bc it was the only way he would agree to climb on an animal (that and he had to keep an eye on neil)
• his legs are so short they don’t come very far down the sides and the bigness makes him look even smaller don’t tell him that 
• allison and renee decide they want to be those lesbians that have a ranch and raise horses it’s v brokeback mountain BUT ONLY THE GOOD PARTS
• not only does neil’s horse only follow the rest of the line of horses on the trail but she’s a v old horse and more than a little slow
• sometimes she just stops walking for a little while possibly out of boredom and neil just waits and gently pats her on the neck until she moves again 
• andrew gets annoyed bc he keeps stopping when neil stops bc he insisted on riding behind him last in line
• they catch up with the others eventually and when they climb off all of them are walking funny
• nicky: “it’s been a while since i’ve had such a sore ass lol”
• everyone else: “STOP”