fabelyn:

In which I think Victor initially decided to go back to competing for Yuri’s sake, and not because he wanted to. not initially at least.

First Victor was dead set on not returning to skating without Yuri, to the point of crying when Yuri insisted on it. And that made sense, as the episodes prior to ep12 showed Victor’s thoughts and how he didn’t really miss competitions.

So…did Yuri’s skating make him want to go back to it out of pride? To beat their records which beat his?

I don’t think so. He was too happy and proud about those and showed no sign of feeling competitive over it, apart from telling Yuri so.

And when he implies he’ll go back…his face wasn’t happy at all. His smile is almost forced.

I believe that, after seeing the love for him that Yuri poured out on his performance, and how Yuri’s desire to have him go back to skating was an honest wish (even if misguided) for his happiness… Victor decided to do it. To make Yuri happy. He didn’t really care to go back, especially without Yuri there, but he wanted to make Yuri happy and would do it for his sake.

Perhaps he didn’t want to disappoint Yuri as former fan of his by revealing the truth: to tell Yuri, who for so long looked up to him as a skater, that he never felt that alive while doing it…maybe Victor would rather not hurt Yuri’s image of him.

And so, for all of hat…he decided to go back. And it might not have turned out well at all, to have done so for such reasons but…

But then Yuri decided to not retire, and that’s when Victor started looking forward to competing. When Yuri asked him to go back to coaching him for one more year…Victor didn’t immediately retract his desire to go back to skating. Instead, he claimed he’d try to do both. And this, I believe, is the moment he truly began looking forward to competing: the moment he found out Yuri would beside him on the rink.

I have a reason to believe that Victor’s decision to return to the ice is very much determined by his love for Yuuri. I’m trying to get my thoughts straight after crying so much lol so I hope I can at least form coherent sentences.

Victor’s reaction at the hotel conversation scene tells me that he hasn’t really thought about actually returning to competitive skating. Sure he might have felt a bit of longing for it after seeing everybody else’s performances in ep 11, but I think what’s even more important to him is staying together with Yuuri. His thoughts about what he can give to Yuuri in ep 11, how Yuuri has given him life and love, how he wished Yuuri would never retire – they all seem to indicate that Victor’s priorities are about remaining close to Yuuri more so that they are about him finding inspiration to skate competitively once again. 

But since Yuuri seems quite adamant that he think thoroughly about what he wants to do, coupled with everything that @fabelyn described about Yuuri’s earnest wishes, Victor becomes more inclined to see that returning to the ice is something he can do for both himself and for Yuuri. It won’t be as bad as before, he might be thinking, since now he has Yuuri as a source of strength and he is no longer fighting all by himself. What is more telling, I think, is that when Yuuri finally says that he wishes to continue skating with Victor as his coach, Victor’s reply tells me that even though he has decided to make a comeback, he still harbors a desire to coach and guide Yuuri. I think that if Yuuri really did decide to retire, Victor might’ve continued on with his decision, but he wouldn’t be as motivated or as happy as he is to be able to return PLUS still remaining close to Yuuri as a coach (of course they’re still engaged and would still love each other very much, but I think having Yuuri retire would’ve definitely put more distance between them, both physically and emotionally, I think). Now they have an added dimension to their relationship: as rivals, as equal competitors, but I really do hope that if we indeed get a second season, we will see how Victor’s return is handled in more detail. Is he emotionally, mentally and physically fine to be returning to the strain of competitive figure skating? Yakov did say that it would be impossible for him to return if he ever left (in ep 2). Yakov might’ve said it just so that he could stop Victor from leaving, but I don’t think they’re empty threats either. Victor is 27, very soon to be 28. Even if he returns to the ice, how much longer can his body hold out? There’s also the fact that he wants to coach Yuuri simultaneously being a competitor himself – I think there’s a rule somewhere that says that he’s not allowed to do that. (Unless of course, Yakov is officially put down as Yuuri’s coach alongside Yurio’s and Victor’s, and Victor can mentor the two Yuris while doing whatever else he needs to do as a competitor, haha). lol sorry I’m ending this with such heavy thoughts, but yes, I think that Victor’s decision to return to the ice is spurred heavily by his feelings for Yuuri, more so than for himself or because he’s “frustrated” at seeing his records get broken and other skaters are surpassing him etc.